Adventures in Dating

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- Have you paid? You need to pay for Tinder Gold so that you can see who has liked you so far. It's better that way.
- Take good pics of yourself. If you can't do it yourself ask a friend to help. The better the pics the better chances. Or hire a professional photographer. Pics are important, very important.

Classic exploitative measure if we're talking Game Design. Create the problem and sell the solution. Tinder is best viewed as a rather tragic game IMO. The broken and lost trying to find something they're all doomed to never find whilst being sold the lie that they've already got a valid treasure map and that this app is the key to decoding it.

Pisses me off how often Game Design gets used in all the worst ways nowadays...

Yes. It got my undivided attention.

Here's the weird thing: It wasn't even that visually revealing, but it made clear her intentions, and I see that as an open door.

Open doors are important to Victims, because we don't push them open ourselves, usually. We need to know that we're welcome to come in before we enter. At least, I do.

Plus, I liked her face.

Yes, I did.

I wonder if this is a difference between ILI's and LIE's. An open door obviously deserves a peak. Give it a good prod or two and see what happens. That'll tell ya if you're welcome in or not.

She was signaling an openness to an ONS far as I can tell and that's a major red flag for me. Only really broken women are DTF on the first date. And wouldn't ya know it what kind of women are ya most likely to find on Tinder...

Still, this could be a way in for you. You may be the first male, especially if a male victim type, that didn't just cave upon being offered the keys to the kingdom as it were. Healthy aggressors don't want easy conquests. Well, they do but they don't put/desire to have rings put upon them by the easy ones. Napoleon went mad with desire over Josephine (to the point he actually married her back when that actually meant quite a lot) because she knew how to play "hard to get". Easy conquests are easy and quickly forgotten upon the campaign trail. Oh but that one tough as all hell to crack fortress that they risked it all on and actually succeeded. Oh now that was satisfying. A true test worthy of a true conqueror!

Give them what they want my dude. A challenge. They already know they're going to win but the real treat for them is making them truly work for it. Again, assuming they're healthy in the head. From our end it is likewise. They know we're ultimately bluffing, but we do it out of our concern for their satisfaction.

Once more, easy conquests are like cup ramen or instant mashed potatoes. They get the job done and satisfy in the moment, but once you've had actually handmade examples of those? No comparison. Offer her the experience of a true feast. Give her the satisfaction of conquering you after a long and hard campaign. She'll treasure you all the more for it .

When the ESI-Se set up my tinder account for me, I was skeptical that I'd find anyone on that site that I'd like. She told me that I was being too particular in chasing a Dual, and I should just go out and have some fun with new people.

I assume that's her own approach. So far, she's had some terrific failures, but so did I when I was 27. Because I didn't know a fucking thing about people.

However, I've recently been saying that people's character shines out of their face (for VI reasons), and there's absolutely no reason for me to go out with a woman whose face I don't want to see every day. That narrows down my prospective choices by quite a bit. Quite a bit.

She's right about the first part. After all the truly deciding factor in the success of a romantic relationship is attachment and not socionics. You can have a healthy, wonderful, and loving relationship with your conflictor. Yeah, it'll take a ton of work and effort from both sides in comparison to how easy it otherwise works out for duals but it can be done. So yeah, if she's fun and kind give her a chance .

You're also right about that second part. I instantly aborted someone's attempt to set me up with this one girl at church. She's nice and all, but for the love of God her neck. That neck... it's a deformity and yeah I'm being shallow as hell but damnit if looking at her straight on instantly kills my boner there's no real future there. That and her voice is the very definition of grating. Nope. Sure she's a nice girl and would otherwise make someone else very happy but I know for damn sure I'm not that person.

I'd also feed that ESI a bit of my own advice. Y'know, risking the whole being truly vulnerable to others and maybe using churches and hobbies over phone apps who have an obvious financial angle. Having a hobby and going to church are free. You don't have to put anything in the collection plate if ya don't wanna and nobody looks down on you for it. Hobbies have a cost for entry but after that nobody really cares if you don't go crazy...