Personally, I sometimes think that I have the emotional maturity of a five-year-old. Not all the time, but sometimes.Originally Posted by Aria
Personally, I sometimes think that I have the emotional maturity of a five-year-old. Not all the time, but sometimes.
I’ve been thinking a lot recently about my relationships with all of the ESIs that I’ve known, and what the relationships were about. What each of us might have gotten from them.
Normally, I’m not a fan of David Keirsey’s presentation of the sixteen types of personalities, but I think, in his first book “Please Understand Me”, that he got the mate-seeking characteristics of ENTJ’s right. In my case he did, anyway.
So I went back and read his description of the mate-seeking characteristics of ISFP’s (which, in MBTI, correspond best to Socionics ESIs), and I’ll be damned if he wasn’t describing every ESI that I’ve ever known well enough to know.
I think I’m gonna be single for the rest of my life.
Last edited by Adam Strange; 08-01-2022 at 01:11 PM.
yeah it was tongue in cheek, babies are cute and two people taking care of each other in a couple is a little like how a mother and father takes care of a baby- you’re each other’s number one in the same way a baby has to come first. You can’t help but love your partner, even if they like a child will annoy you sometimes..and bring out the attention seeking child in you too. I think lots of men want to be seen as reliable and trustworthy therefore when they find a woman that makes them feel this way, they are like a weak little baby who will listen to the woman when she sometimes has to take the lead when it comes to disagreements regarding emotional matters. Men just aren’t brought up to care about the intricacies of emotional comfort in the same way women are. Women and men generally speaking have different hormone levels and this can affect personality traits. Gender inequality does exist and women do have to watch out for men taking advantage of them, especially when they’re young. But men do suffer from the ill-effects of inequality too (though not as much). I think lots of men just want to find a woman who is right for them, because it’s easier for them this way to grow emotionally- they don’t feel as pressured as in more exciting, passionate relationships (in which they might treat women badly). Of course women can treat men badly too, but like I said structural sexual inequality exists. Women are generally more vulnerable emotionally, more so when young. An emotional connection is what holds relationships together so it’s really important in a relationship that the emotional power balance is healthy (whatevs that means).
Last edited by Bethanyclaire; 08-01-2022 at 12:04 PM.
Maybe you guys should talkWe all can revert to a small child at times.
Talking to a self-proclaimed ENFJ at the moment, and EIE does seem like a good fit for him. Clear Fe lead, and no signs of Ni PoLR. In fact, we've moved very quickly into our "life values, goals, and personal identity" which seems pretty Ni-valuing to me.
The problem is...I don't want to compete with a partner. Ethically, in this case. I want my partner to be strong where I'm weak, and vice versa. Not STRONGER in an area where I'm already strong. Because then you are constantly being sort of strong-armed into their way of viewing things (in this case Fe dominance) when you already feel pretty set and confident in your abilities (in my case Fe auxiliary).
I guess time will tell. Maybe we're different enough apart from socionics for us to still complement one another's strengths and weaknesses. I do think he has a very different temperament from me and there is some natural attraction. He's been one of the most mature communicators I've ever encountered, at least over text. And He's a Fire Chief and public works superintendent...maybe I'm easily impressed but that seems legit, lol.
What were the descriptions?
Not being a steamroller is attractive indeed, but then it's hard to find balanced ones who aren't too passive instead.
I usually meet the ones who come on too strong and simp/swoon over you when they don't even actually know who you are. I haaaaate simps so much. "Have some self-respect and quit wrapping yourself around my finger, Jesus Christ."
I'm burnt out and done with men. These days, even as friends, I just bond with women far more. Great, men have turned me into a man hating lesbian.
You do not have enough GOOD VIBES. Chill, be happy, and you won't need to hold on to bitterness so long as you just don't entertain the non-chill.
#Vibeology
No, no, lesbianism is a negative mindset! Good vibes are always the way forward.
I've embraced the light. Good vibing is the optimal state of humanity. Good vibes reinforce each other. Therefore everyone should always vibe as hard as possible.
Yes true. I agree. Although in reality it depends on the chemistry, her life situation etc. I do both, ask when she is available or suggest a day right away. I dont have any clear rules for this. I am seeing the SLE again today and I just wrote her yestetday that there's a concert today if she wants to join me. And she wanted.
Edit: i also think it's good to sometimes do spontaneous or risky mooves in dating. After all, this is supposed to be exciting, not some business meeting
Last edited by Tallmo; 08-03-2022 at 08:06 AM.
The decisive thing is not the reality of the object, but the reality of the subjective factor, i.e. the primordial images, which in their totality represent a psychic mirror-world. It is a mirror, however, with the peculiar capacity of representing the present contents of consciousness not in their known and customary form but in a certain sense sub specie aeternitatis, somewhat as a million-year old consciousness might see them.
(Jung on Si)
I get why you say this, but my interactions outside of the forums are different. Better. That's why you sometimes see me disappear for a while.
Men just tend to share certain biological and culturally ingrained qualities I hate in romantic partners. (Fuck testosterone.)
Good! I'm sure they'll get even better! Have faith in yourself, too, and keep vibing!
Are you on the hunt again? Did anything happen between you and your boyfriend?
No.
It's complicated.
When I first met my ex-wife, I thought she was an attractive person who wasn't my type. When I got to know her a little better, I kind of liked her but thought she might be crazy. By the time six months had gone by, I thought she was perfect and I had no doubts whatsoever about her and me, together.
Man, I need better Se.
In some echo from that time, I seem to be looking for that woman who is "better" than me. A great deal, that is. The best deal possible. A woman about whom I'd have no doubts.
This approach is probably just as unrealistic as my earlier approach, and is basically why I think I have the emotional maturity of a five-year-old.
Maybe I should start drinking again.
I went to Kinkos yesterday to print a contract and the copy machine was just being vacated by this smart, thin, attractive blonde in a violet dress and shoes that were more like slippers. The dress was kind of a tube but it fit her well. It was attractive and sensible for a hot day, and if she was wearing anything under it, it wasn't obvious.
I asked her if the printer was available and she said, brightly and clearly, that it was. She seemed to be both by herself and independent, and I could see that she wasn't wearing any rings on her hands as she gathered up her papers. I think she might have been a logical type, but it was very hard to say.
Needless to say, I fell in love with her instantly as she put her purse over her shoulder and headed for the door.
Twenty minutes later, I exited Kinkos and as I returned to my car, she was standing at the corner of the building, pacing back and forth, talking on her phone.
I paused and looked at her and got into my car, slowly, so if she needed help, she could have asked me. But she didn't seem to want to ask for help.
As I left the parking lot, I was kicking myself for not saying something to her, but then, I'm not an SLE looking for an IEI.
@Lady Lotus, the descriptions are fairly long and are best viewed in the original book, which is available from Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Please-Unders...s%2C145&sr=8-3
in the 1984 edition of the book by Keirsey, Please Understand Me (not "Please Understand Me II), the description of what Keirsey thinks the ENTJ is looking for can be found on page 73, and Keirsey's description of the romantic behavior and wishes of an ISFP (an ESI, in my opinion), can be found on pages 79 through 82.
Absolutely
I am in some ways still a textbook Fearful-Avoidant, and in some ways closer to secure. At the moment, I see more FA. Numb and distracted for the first 3-4 weeks after a breakup. Not type related, it is attachment style related. I'm still in chill mode, like
People who are constantly trying/ actively dating to find relationships...don't you ever get tired? This is not supposed to be a judgmental question btw, I'm genuinely curious as to how people go out of their way for this stuff after a while (admittedly I think this way since I've had predominantly bad experiences). At some point you just don't get discouraged and say fuck it, I'm done?
Chronic "grass is always greener" syndrome
Yes, our thoughts, energies, and internal states influence everything. It's a matter of faith and friendship, forging the stars for a higher path tomorrow, to write the systems and equations of eternity, and to live under the promise that we will always get stronger.
BunnyRaptor won Euro 2000 with the Prophecy that Rare Wartortle Wisdom turns a foolish Meganium into a wise Lugia, same with Lakers 2001, and 2002 was the 2014 World Cup prophecy, sparked by Mavericks 2011 to 2024. 2016 Rhydon was proven when Liverpool 2022 evolved into Blastoise at the pinnacle of 493 Arceus wisdom with 2001 Liberty and Iverson as Liverpool, thereby redeeming World Cup 2006, especially with Messi transcending Mbappe apple Isaac Newton George Lucas like Leonardo over Zidane Zapdos Zarathustra Nikola Tesla, hearts threading misty colosseums to undertow Force and lightsabers juggling quizzical staircases edging magic and flurries of legends polarizing 6 Flags Bunny*!!
https://www.the16types.info/vbulleti...k-2024-edition
I think it is something you can adjust to, you can take breaks..do it less frequently. But it also feels good that you’re trying. And you do learn from it, even from dating app dates. I’ve been on apps for a couple of years, only really looking seriously for a year. You start to get a feel for what type of person seems worthy. Often, it’s someone you think is cute and seems interested but a bit shy. (Coz they fancy you?) not many of these come along. And you get distracted by all sorts of other people. You have annoying dates and you have humbling dates. (The humbling ones were still a bit annoying :s) I didn’t like referring to it as dating before..seems like a joke lol. Maybe you have to laugh. I think you can also learn to spot people who have potential but might not be ‘like at first sight’. These are also not that common. I feel more positive about it than I did six months ago. It doesn’t feel so confusing now.
Last edited by Bethanyclaire; 08-03-2022 at 12:14 PM.
I was away from the dating scene for many years. Didn't have the motivation. This might be different for men and women, but the more women I meet the more energy and inspiration I get. It's still a long road for me to get back into dating, but it's like lighting a fire. First the fire is small and it almost dies, but then it grows and grows and the heat produces more heat. That's how dating works for me.
So once you're in it the energy comes from the dating itself. It's not anymore something you have to force yourself to do, although that's how it can be in the beginning.
Psychologically, men have to meet women in order to project their own Anima on them. The Anima is the image of the feminine and is connected to (erotic) inspiration and life. The more the man can project the Anima the more active and inspired he gets. At the same time, the more distinguished the man becomes as a masculine subject acting in the world.
The decisive thing is not the reality of the object, but the reality of the subjective factor, i.e. the primordial images, which in their totality represent a psychic mirror-world. It is a mirror, however, with the peculiar capacity of representing the present contents of consciousness not in their known and customary form but in a certain sense sub specie aeternitatis, somewhat as a million-year old consciousness might see them.
(Jung on Si)
I don't know if he's like me but at times I'll say stuff that come off as confusing without meaning it because there's some unresolved feeling behind it.
One day, I told a guy his step mom really wanted him and I to get together, I said that because I was actually angry at her about it and he took it the wrong way. oop
I also find being told some hypothetical life partner will be lucky to have me aggravating.
It's a possibility among others.
The last date I had was an Omiai like date. It was the first "official" date of my life. But before the date a little bit of context. The action took place in an muslim country. I remember being invited with my parents and some other family members for dinner to the house of the brother of my father's friend. without knowing that there was something behind this invitation. At some point in the evening my father and the man had a private conversation on the second floor of the house (which is actually a fitted roof ) shortly after they came back we decided to go home. In the way home, my father said to me that he had a conversation with the man about his daughter and that they came to an agreement, the lady's father has accepted to let his daughter be my "fiancée" so she and I can date ( it's complicated but I give you the short version).
I didn't even see the lady before that evening. I was literally in defcon 3 mode inside, I thought that never in my life would I have thought that I could find myself in a situation like this. What was my father thinking ? That we were living in the middle ages ?! Or that we were in some kind of archaic tribal society ?? Why did he always behave with me as if I was his thing, I mean he would never even begin to think about doing something like that to any of my siblings ! As usual, I didn't show my anger, not even expressed my disagreement because I couldn't talk about such thing with my father, It would have been weird to me. Anyway, I did "date" the lady. It went well but she wasn't my type at all. She was a pious muslim and quite introverted. At some point she came in our house and spend two days with us along with her aunt. I understood that she was deeply in love with me which was the worst case scenario. From that point, I knew that I was going to break her heart, and that feeling was unbearable to me. After about a month or so, I "broke up" with her. In fact the situation was a bit more complicated than that, especially for her. Maybe one day I'll talk about this adventure and how it ended in more details. It was the summer of 2007.
I actually read a lot of Keirsey, and decided that Pokémon 493 Arceus could be the Architect INTP based on name, and that Lugia (other Arceus form) could be in a TiNi loop, or ISTP.
Frankly, I think Lugia is much more like INFP than ISTP, and also that Lugia’s Bunny, 17’1 long like 11 Bunny ears.
I actually struggle with relating to NJ Ni using types. All of this leadership and far futuristic thinking strategy is alien to me. I relate best to Ne and ISTP, building ideas and whirling off in crazy directions to be as remote from tangibility as possibility threads zip and channel flow.
And I relate horribly with ISFP. I don’t focus on the real world physical future. Rather, I focus more on transcendent themes. So for me, ISTP>ISFP. ISFP is a lot more practical than ISTP anyway, which is like what I said about the real world physical future. Dario Nardi EEGs proved that ISFP use Purposeful Futurist extremely well. And about ISFPs being small, that’s the opposite of Bunny, aimed at world domination and building the bridge to the invisible, whereas ISFPs don’t like being bullshitted. ISFP EEG showed they focus on lie detection, not Bunny switching spectra polarities of phenomena dreaming like a free Imagination.
BunnyRaptor won Euro 2000 with the Prophecy that Rare Wartortle Wisdom turns a foolish Meganium into a wise Lugia, same with Lakers 2001, and 2002 was the 2014 World Cup prophecy, sparked by Mavericks 2011 to 2024. 2016 Rhydon was proven when Liverpool 2022 evolved into Blastoise at the pinnacle of 493 Arceus wisdom with 2001 Liberty and Iverson as Liverpool, thereby redeeming World Cup 2006, especially with Messi transcending Mbappe apple Isaac Newton George Lucas like Leonardo over Zidane Zapdos Zarathustra Nikola Tesla, hearts threading misty colosseums to undertow Force and lightsabers juggling quizzical staircases edging magic and flurries of legends polarizing 6 Flags Bunny*!!
https://www.the16types.info/vbulleti...k-2024-edition
I don't know if I already wrote this here...I think I did...but
The one and only date I ever went on was at the start of 2020 with random dude I met online lol I didn't like him but I wasn't thinking about that at the time ( I just thought he was cute). As soon as we met I already found myself thinking about things I didn't like about him...behavioral stuff. Like not walking next to me, or not opening doors lol I don't care if you're tall don't walk away and leave me behind. And I think I mentioned about how he wouldn't stop asking me to go home with him like in the middle of the date...I found it creepy and thought he was trying to get me drunk to take advantage of me. "Like I don't want to go back to your house to drink alcohol, I just met you"
Also me being extremely awkward and not knowing what to say (since he was basically a stranger, we didn't really talk online before meeting and I didn't know if we were supposed to because I didn't know how dating worked) and embarrassing myself. I was surprised when he asked to meet up again. I thought he was crazy. Why the hell would he want to see me again. I told him not to ask me to go to his house again. That was my condition. And guess what he did when we met again? Ask me the same thing I told him not to. Ugh.
I was also annoyed and moody the whole time because it was hot out and I couldn't stand it. And as we were sitting together I almost started crying (this was the most embarrassing part) because I was thinking about my ex and seeing this couple outside. I think he noticed and asked if I wanted to leave and I said yes and just got up and left without another word to him. Later I told him we should hang out again.
Just thinking about it is all so embarrassing.
Chronic "grass is always greener" syndrome
I've seen guys talk like that among each other, it's pretty much normal to me.
I think cultural atmosphere encourages that around here tho.
I think we might be all programmed to some degree to believe that any friendly, open, and/or genuine statement is flirting. Movies and all that.
Nope...many of us definitely know the difference.
Flirting can be sexually provocative/ plain, simple attention seeking, both can either be harmless or gross
You need to let go of this fear and start being yourself. There is wisdom in letting the heart run free, no matter how perceived by pitiless people.
The heart knows all the answers. It’s just a matter of choosing what feels right.
BunnyRaptor won Euro 2000 with the Prophecy that Rare Wartortle Wisdom turns a foolish Meganium into a wise Lugia, same with Lakers 2001, and 2002 was the 2014 World Cup prophecy, sparked by Mavericks 2011 to 2024. 2016 Rhydon was proven when Liverpool 2022 evolved into Blastoise at the pinnacle of 493 Arceus wisdom with 2001 Liberty and Iverson as Liverpool, thereby redeeming World Cup 2006, especially with Messi transcending Mbappe apple Isaac Newton George Lucas like Leonardo over Zidane Zapdos Zarathustra Nikola Tesla, hearts threading misty colosseums to undertow Force and lightsabers juggling quizzical staircases edging magic and flurries of legends polarizing 6 Flags Bunny*!!
https://www.the16types.info/vbulleti...k-2024-edition
Well, the fear of being discounted is what I meant, but if you’re entering your flow state, that’s what matters.
The road I see is limitless, about creativity, about expansion. Frankly, I believe in self mastery, in boosting my powers, and dominating opposition.
So my theory about justice is who’s stronger, not kindness.
If you’ve ever read “Plato’s Republic”, that’s what I’m aiming at, defining justice and being philosopher king.
BunnyRaptor won Euro 2000 with the Prophecy that Rare Wartortle Wisdom turns a foolish Meganium into a wise Lugia, same with Lakers 2001, and 2002 was the 2014 World Cup prophecy, sparked by Mavericks 2011 to 2024. 2016 Rhydon was proven when Liverpool 2022 evolved into Blastoise at the pinnacle of 493 Arceus wisdom with 2001 Liberty and Iverson as Liverpool, thereby redeeming World Cup 2006, especially with Messi transcending Mbappe apple Isaac Newton George Lucas like Leonardo over Zidane Zapdos Zarathustra Nikola Tesla, hearts threading misty colosseums to undertow Force and lightsabers juggling quizzical staircases edging magic and flurries of legends polarizing 6 Flags Bunny*!!
https://www.the16types.info/vbulleti...k-2024-edition
Never disturb a woman’s flow state. Hand her a sponge, tell her ‘put it in ur underwear’, and peace it.
I just copied her style. Seems pretty cool to me to just casually reply like that after a year, like she did.
yes, it's a masculine virtue to be like that. Confident, but related to the feminine side. Some people will have it naturally and others will take years to learn it. Probably depends a lot on the type. When I was young and inexperienced I was totally unable to even suggest a date with anybody. It was completely lacking from my consciousness. So the girl had to do it. Luckily some girls did. Later I learned to go outside my comfort zone and make arrangements to meet someone. Basically developing weak functions.And it's very attractive (to me) when a man has a good plan of what he wants to do without being a steamroller. Like, "okay great. If it sounds good to you, how about dinner at 'x' at 7? I can pick you up if you're comfortable, or meet there." Because you know he has a plan and has confidently said what he wants, but won't be all hurt and touchy if you don't go along with everything. I feel like this is good regardless of the romance style.
Last edited by Tallmo; 08-04-2022 at 03:11 PM.
The decisive thing is not the reality of the object, but the reality of the subjective factor, i.e. the primordial images, which in their totality represent a psychic mirror-world. It is a mirror, however, with the peculiar capacity of representing the present contents of consciousness not in their known and customary form but in a certain sense sub specie aeternitatis, somewhat as a million-year old consciousness might see them.
(Jung on Si)
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