Why do you say that? I get that in life we can be in situations where we don't see many people and have no other way to meet than through dating apps (been there myself) but why a "lifetime" of solitude since certainly this type of situation can change?Originally Posted by Armitage
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I mean it more as in that it is very hard in real life to recognize if others are gay too, not to say nigh impossible. Dating apps make it actually possible to know when others are also looking for a guy. I'm a social fellow, but I'd never walk up to someone to ask them out without knowing first that they're gay too.
I try to confer to End that life is not all that categorical as he sometimes portrays it. Not everything is only black and white, nor are dating apps a purely good or bad thing. Yes, finding love through shared friends or interests is preferable, if this is actually an option. For those like me who are "different", or people who lack the confidence to walk up to others, or whatever reason one can imagine, dating apps provide an option to meet others who are looking, when the classical methods for finding love didn't work.
I see. Yes, I have heard from gay men before that they find it quiet difficult to meet someone, given that the percentage of men in the general population who are gay or bi is fairly low. I know one guy who had frequented the gay community out here in Belgium but said that people there were mostly just looking for hookups and not serious relationships. Tbh even as a straight man I find it much easier to meet people via apps, as when I ask a woman out there the answer tends to be a yes, since we have already matched and spoken a bit, so the intent is clear and you more or less know there is initial attraction. In real life, it's alot more confused. Even when I meet someone I like, they are often either already in a relationship, not attracted back, or not in a phase of their life where they want to date. So the chance of asking someone else and being met with a negative answer is much higher. And as an introvert, I don't meet huge amounts of people either.
I agree with the general idea of what End is saying about attachment issues, based on my experience it is quiet a prevelant problem. I wouldn't say it is exclusively on dating apps though that these problems exist, or that everyone on apps has attachment issues so I agree with you that it's a mix of good and bad when it comes to these apps.
I wish you the best of luck in finding the right person.
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Like I said in this thread I believe my devaluing of "so" means I too wouldn't just up and ask someone if they're gay... but I'm also pretty sure about someone's sexual orientation after a few conversations and while I have not directly asked them about it the hints are all there. Hell, one gay couple came right up to me and told me how much they both liked me rather a lot at a previous job. Different times, different places, but they were loud and proud about their homosexuality in my presence pretty quickly after I got hired at least and I didn't give them any real shit about it. Theego-block one frequently teased me about how if he wasn't already committed to his partner he'd be trying to "convert" me and make me his date/partner.
I told him I was flattered, but that such a quest would never work out. I like the ladies, and there ain't nothing going to change that. Then there's the glaring issue of my faith and what it has to say about such things. I will not thump my bible at someone as that never seems to work but, like with the EII Freemason I knew and actually rather liked, I mentioned I was Catholic to their face and the catechism/church teachings are rather specific on this (and many other) issues. A mere/quick google search would reveal to them that I'm not exactly supportive of them or their life choices if I'm being serious about it.
Still flattered though. Doubt a hardcore lesbian would find a Catholic nun complementing her on her looks or on the wonderful scent of her perfume whilst believing her to be in need of Jesus in the form of directing her sexual urges towards males to be anything truly negative. It's kinda like that. Hate the sin, not the sinner. Conversions by the sword are ultimately temporary. Conversions by common ground, however, are why the hopes of the fulfilment of "The Great Commission" aren't but a mere pipe dream.
Last edited by End; 01-26-2022 at 03:47 AM.
@End, your gay colleagues sound nice. I think that the joke he made is a bit odd, though, because of all people they should know that sexuality is genetic, and the joke also sounds rather promiscuous. All in all, the gay couple you met seem rather flamboyant, based on what you told me. I myself am far from flamboyant, most friends and family members I told that I'm gay were genuinely surprised, because they didn't see it. Subsequently, I don't feel attracted to flamboyant gay guys, but to guys like any other who happen to be gay, because I'm like that myself. It does make it a lot harder to identify fellow gay guys that way, however, hence the necessity for me to use dating applications. Despite that, yes, most people who are on there are self-indulgent sex addicts. Welcome to the gay hook-up culture.
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