Adventures in Dating

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In this order,

1.) Stop living with your mom, otherwise known as “Get your own place.”
2.) Keep dating.

This last female may or may not be lost to you, but you need to keep trying. Without a woman in their lives, male NT’s tend to look bizarre and scarily eccentric, and ILEs are the worst.

Single LIIs simply vanish from society, ILIs get into guns and paranoia, and LIEs descend into depression and inaction, but ILEs end up living alone in a trailer on the edge of town, repairing typewriters or some equally eccentric and unprofitable way of making the rent payment.
So get that female Dual.

*EDIT*
I am by no means an expert on Alpha SF females, but I’ve had a lot of experience dating and just talking to people, and my impression of Alpha SF women (which is probably wrong in detail but is just my impression) is that they are social, sensing feelers in an NT world and hence are driven to form stable relationships but have been told by society that they suck at everything. This makes them want to connect but sensitive to criticism and rejection.

So, your first priority has to be to accept and like them, and not
1. ignore them.
2. reject them in the slightest way.
3. Try to tell them that you are really a super-genius and they aren’t very smart and the fact that you’re living with your mom is just your way of keeping your true identity secret from the Galactic Overlords who will need to eliminate YOU if they are ever going to conquer Earth.
4. Criticize them IN ANY WAY because you’re feeling insecure that day and they don’t fight back, they just leave.
5. Fail to tell them that you like them in a truthful way, because they can tell what you really mean better than you, yourself, know. So don’t lie.

Anyway, good luck. Dating gets easier with practice and as we become less defensive and more fun to be around.

I generally agree with your advice and much of your perspectives @Adam Strange, but here I'm going to have to disagree with you with a slight degree of vehemence. I'd invert your initial advice. That is, I'd put "keep dating" first and "getting your own place" second. With a caveat that getting one's "own place" is a matter of perspective and from mine you can have it for peanuts. Side note: I've almost accumulated enough of those to get mine going and am about to start dating seriously (I.e. Dual/Wife seeking) for once in my life. Still betting on the assertive SEE tomboy loving bully end because my tells me that's my fate. Again, not my "perfect" end but an end I can live with and accept. Never let the perfect become the enemy of the good after all.

You are right about ILI's like me, guns and paranoia is the game plan if we think we're utterly fucked and never land a dual in our social circles. I lucked out and got my SEE bro but that's a rabbit hole I'd rather pursue elsewhere.

There is a sliver of truth to be found in that mindset however. Minimalist living executed to a perfection only an introvert with is capable of that is fully mobile in all the ways that'd matter is a thing you can and should do if able and you can make it work no matter how fucked up your finances are relatively speaking once you've "primed the pump" as it were. That is, once you've acquired the basic level of money/resources to make the relevant purchases you're a free man who can potentially be free of any obligations others try to force upon you as you have hacked the system. Any Gamma worth their status as one knows of the concept of "Fuck You" money. Well, turns out it's way, way, easier to get to that zenith of achievement than ya think!

The book (whose author is the IRL version of "The Dude" in the looks department) that spelled that out for me was "Vanabode: Travel and Live Forever on 20$ a Day". A properly constructed Vanabode is a place of one's own I'd argue. Fully mobile. Easily attainable (relatively speaking). And will keep you alive for peanuts a day once attained. A bit of gas in the winter, a shady parking spot in the summer, and just living/grocery shopping in a low cost of living area like rural America. 20-30 bucks or so a day once all the initial purchases have been made.

As for that last line, well, attachment. All types get less defensive and more fun to be around in proportion to how well they have resolved their attachment issues. To give a recent example of some random thought I had. Assume the existence of a naive SEE who lacks most any attachment issues somehow. She will come up with a "great" solution to a problem, but she will also utterly fail to realize both how/why that solution works so well and how/why it was/is also suicidality reckless when executed as a solo entity (i.e. by themselves).

Poor dumb girl is living in an ideal world where good men rebuke her and bad men try to take advantage of her so obviously it hurts. However, she somehow gets that and ends up standing up several PUA's and other desperate victim types who were all to ready to have an ONS with her. Her filter is accurate, but it is also putting her own chastity and life in danger because of how she's just brute forcing a solution to a problem far more nuanced than she's likely to consider.

The issues are mirrored as it were. Male NT's can get rather creepy and eccentric if they fail to meet their dual. What about the Female SF's? I can imagine a great deal of male repelling crazy that could potentially emanate from them. A crazy that is only amplified in the most tragic sense by attachment issues...

[Armitage]

NT's can get rather creepy and eccentric if they fail to meet their dual. What about the SF's? I can imagine a great deal of male repelling crazy that could potentially emanate from them. A crazy that is only amplified in the most tragic sense by attachment issues...

This feels like quite the cliffhanger you left me in, because this is rather interesting. Care to elaborate with some examples, please?


Regarding dating, by the way, does anyone have an idea on how to apologize to an ESI, who's feelings one unintentionally hurt? LIEs like myself can be quite clumsy with feelings, after all.

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This feels like quite the cliffhanger you left me in, because this is rather interesting. Care to elaborate with some examples, please?


Regarding dating, by the way, does anyone have an idea on how to apologize to an ESI, who's feelings one unintentionally hurt? LIEs like myself can be quite clumsy with feelings, after all.

That's gonna involve attachment. Like I keep saying, that's the main concern in regards to interpersonal relationships and that goes double for romantic ones. You gotta just fess up and honestly apologize. If she gets that you're being honest and earnestly seeking to connect with her she'll understand and actually thank you for that. You're likely the first person she's met to do so.

Now, if she's broken you're gonna find out pretty quick as that honest and earnest apology won't be enough for her. Not really. She might put up a front for a second or two but that's just the impulse to bully their lover a bit. We ain't called "victims" for nothing. Us liking it and not fighting against it is likewise a point of attraction from their end. Provided, of course, that they ain't going overboard.

If she is I'd bring up attachment and walk her through it. If she wants to overcome it and is open to that possibility she's worth keeping around and helping. If she calls you a crazy nutter or something like that and doesn't break down after a day or two ( doms love to bully and issue hardcore shit tests after all) than she's probably "lost" and you're better off trying your luck with someone else.