Adventures in Dating

[MissDucki]

Wow, thanks. I just find it hard to use Ne so naturally in front of people. It's hard to tell if people appreciate it or not, as it doesn't "influence" people and the environment in an obvious way as Se does.
What do you mean by "glimpse of openness"? And I never thought my Ti was that obvious but maybe it is hahah.

No problem! I see your Ti bro. I see it and it’s reinforced by the flocks of Fe values coming at yeah trying to tie ya down
I like Ne observations, even if they are off the wall wacky. I love hearing Ne/Ti tangents and I find them thrilling! Aka, I find ILE and LII aren’t afraid to look stupid and be silly. Se types tend to have a stick up their butt in this sense (no Offense). They focus on being more “assertive and dominating” to the point it’s controlling and I don’t like that. The openness is that your not afraid to look silly and that your not afraid to keep loose reigns. I like men who are loose with the reigns as that caretaker side tends to pop up. I hope this make sense and helps! Just, don’t be afraid to be silly and show you’re Ne a bit more! It’s attractive!

[The Banana King]

No problem! I see your Ti bro. I see it and it’s reinforced by the flocs of Fe values coming at yeah trying to tie ya down
I like Ne observations, even if they are off the wall wacky. I love hearing Ne/Ti tangents and I find them thrilling! Aka, I find ILE and LII aren’t afraid to look stupid and be silly. She types tend to have a stick up their butt in this sense (no Offenes). They focus on being more “assertive and dominating” to the point it’s controlling and I don’t like that. The openness is that your not afraid to look silly and that your not afraid to keep loose reigns. I like men who are loose with the reigns as that caretaker side tends to pop up. I hope this make sense and helps! Just, don’t be afraid to be silly and show you’re Ne a bit more! It’s attractive!

Thanks for the advice! Oh now I understand what you mean by openness. I guess Ne egos in general have that, yeah. Or should I say every type has openness as a kid and Ne egos are the only ones that don't lose it after growing up

[AWellArmedCat]

Dating as an adult in the workforce is so much harder than dating while in college or high school :/

[Adam Strange]

Dating as an adult in the workforce is so much harder than dating while in college or high school :/

@AWellArmedCat, I didn't date at all in high school or college, and I've dated a lot as an adult (after college), and let me just say that the more I date, the easier it gets and the more comfortable I become, and as time goes on it becomes harder to find someone who is still single and is capable of being in a relationship.

The normal and the good get taken pretty quickly.

[Scarlett]

@AWellArmedCat, I didn't date at all in high school or college, and I've dated a lot as an adult (after college)

Omg are you me lol

I dated only when I was in my first year of uni, after that I didn't date at all until I graduated and got a job.
I was just super busy in uni, but I did hangout casually, everyone seemed to think I had a boyfriend. Lol

By the way.

There's this guy that I thought an SLI, I think I've posted a few times on the forum.
He seems organised (he's a pilot afterall), and he's also a training capt, which means he has good judgements about his colleagues, things like that. He's really, really kind and down to earth, you get the warmth vibe when you talk to him. I didn't get the same vibe around other colleagues. I think I've posted on some other threads we all work in the same industry so I meet lots of them. And he's very well respected, it's funny I liked to mention his name when I talked to the other boys and they're all like "oh he's a good guy". Always. At first I just don't care, but now I'm getting interested lol like why he's so special.

Anyway. Him and I, we're pretty close, we get along really well. And last night I just found out he actually wanted to be a vet when he was younger. But then he was watching something on tv about a vet pulling out guinea pig's teeth, and he just couldn't do that, he didn't want to hurt guinea pigs or any animal, he imagined them just like us human.
I was like WTF. That doesn't sound rational at all, all this time I thought you were an SLI!
Hahaha.

So we connect really well, I can see he has Te/Fi, because I usually don't connect that well with someone using Fe/Ti, it's just different.
And with all his kindness and warmth, maybe he's really an F? Which means he's either an ESI or SEI

[Adam Strange]

Omg are you me lol

I dated only when I was in my first year of uni, after that I didn't date at all until I graduated and got a job.
I was just super busy in uni, but I did hangout casually, everyone seemed to think I had a boyfriend. Lol

By the way.

There's this guy that I thought an SLI, I think I've posted a few times on the forum.
He seems organised (he's a pilot afterall), and he's also a training capt, which means he has good judgements about his colleagues, things like that. He's really, really kind and down to earth, you get the warmth vibe when you talk to him. I didn't get the same vibe around other colleagues. I think I've posted on some other threads we all work in the same industry so I meet lots of them. And he's very well respected, it's funny I liked to mention his name when I talked to the other boys and they're all like "oh he's a good guy". Always. At first I just don't care, but now I'm getting interested lol like why he's so special.

Anyway. Him and I, we're pretty close, we get along really well. And last night I just found out he actually wanted to be a vet when he was younger. But then he was watching something on tv about a vet pulling out guinea pig's teeth, and he just couldn't do that, he didn't want to hurt guinea pigs or any animal, he imagined them just like us human.
I was like WTF. That doesn't sound rational at all, all this time I thought you were an SLI!
Hahaha.

So we connect really well, I can see he has Te/Fi, because I usually don't connect that well with someone using Fe/Ti, it's just different.
And with all his kindness and warmth, maybe he's really an F? Which means he's either an ESI or SEI

Yes, @Scarlett, I am you. I am future you. The guy who married an SLI whom I thought would fix some very broken parts of my life and she did, while throwing cement blocks in my path to my own personal development. SLI's like their mates to be infantiles, remember.

I'm the guy whose greatest regret now is that he didn't marry an ESI. I have more than I need of everything else in my life and you will, too. What I'm missing is a reason for living, which is what an ESI naturally supplies to the LIE. God, do they.

So, future you says, make damned sure that your next squeeze is an ESI. Not all ESIs are the same. I think they actually have just about the widest variance of any type, so plan to run through a dozen or so before you find your equal.

Oh, and SLIs are not a great match for LIEs in bed. They can get technically OK, but they are nothing like an ESI who wants you.

Godspeed.

[End]

Yes, @Scarlett, I am you. I am future you. The guy who married an SLI whom I thought would fix some very broken parts of my life and she did, while throwing cement blocks in my path to my own personal development. SLI's like their mates to be infantiles, remember.

I'm the guy whose greatest regret now is that he didn't marry an ESI. I have more than I need of everything else in my life and you will, too. What I'm missing is a reason for living, which is what an ESI naturally supplies to the LIE. God, do they.

So, future you says, make damned sure that your next squeeze is an ESI. Not all ESIs are the same. I think they actually have just about the widest variance of any type, so plan to run through a dozen or so before you find your equal.

Oh, and SLIs are not a great match for LIEs in bed. They can get technically OK, but they are nothing like an ESI who wants you.

Godspeed.

This exchange reminded me of a Manga I just got done reading that also is currently getting an anime adaptation. The MC's are on my own ILI/SEE axis but it should still resonate. I'd look up "Taishou Otome Otogibanashi" if I were you.

Also relevant because the Father of the ILI male lead is a broken ILI himself. Sees everyone and everything in regards to transactions and exchanges. I won't spoil anything else because it's good and worth the few hours of time it'll take to read it. 38 or so manga chapters isn't very long. Basically a "novella" from the pulp era. A single issue of "The Shadow" that Walter B. Gibson pumped out on a bi-monthly basis (a writing speed any aspiring author with any ambition hopes to match one day).

[Armitage]

Omg are you me lol

I dated only when I was in my first year of uni, after that I didn't date at all until I graduated and got a job.
I was just super busy in uni, but I did hangout casually, everyone seemed to think I had a boyfriend. Lol

Third time is a pattern; is it me or does this seem to apparently be a LIE thing, because I likewise didn't get too date much until later in university?
Also, how are things going between your ESI and you?

[Scarlett]

Third time is a pattern; is it me or does this seem to apparently be a LIE thing, because I likewise didn't get too date much until later in university?
Also, how are things going between your ESI and you?

Hi Armitage,
Apologies for the delayed response.
Yes, I think so, our dominant-Te makes us busy doing school duties. First things first.

Well, we live in different states. And he actually WAY older (>15 years, he's in his mid 40s) than me. So I decided not to pursue any further. But we're still good friends, I like him, he's a good guy.
I'm thankful that I can actually like someone like him, an ESI, really. If you ever seen my previous posts, I had a hard time finding an ESI that I really like.

I actually hope it's not just because of the age though. I'm worried the only ESI's I like would be the older ones because they're good and mature enough for a female LIE like me. Ah I'm being arrogant again. Anyway, I never have problems to find dates when I want to, but if I wanna find a dual, I think I should treat it as a project. We'll see.

Oh, and thank you for asking! Yeah I'm not always online.
What about you, have you found your ESI yet? I think it should be easier for an LIE guy to find an ESI girl than the other way around.
Best of luck.