Adventures in Dating

[Kalinoche buenanoche]

@Adam Strange, thanks for the information. Part of me wants to read it until I fully get it (or -more like- until I come up with more questions) but the «the mortgage payments are paid by the rent» sates (satiates?) the interest for the time being and there is always Quora. Basic finance is a mystery to me*.Kinda hate to admit.

*Edit: once, a manager told me about the process her friend went through in order to take out a mortgage and I was like «she needed one?». Yup, that level of cluelessness. It was not even that long ago.

[Adam Strange]

@Adam Strange, thanks for the information. Part of me wants to read it until I fully get it (or -more like- until I come up with more questions) but the «the mortgage payments are paid by the rent» sates (satiates?) the interest for the time being and there is always Quora.

Basic finance is a mystery to me. Kinda hate to admit.

Don't feel bad, kali. My last ESI GF frequently told me that she needed help with finances. And since finance is easy for me, I could help her.

Everyone has their own strengths. In turn,

Basic emotion is a mystery to me. Kinda hate to admit.

[Adam Strange]

Spoiled, in the interests of protecting the children.
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When there are no females in my sexual life, I watch porn. It's not a great substitute for personal intimacy, but it's better than nothing.

Once, when I was talking to my lesbian ESI-Se interior decorator, (with whom I'm in love with, incidentally, and she completely understands this, and maybe she feels the same way about me because we are uncannily similar in some ways and we understand each other remarkably well), I said to her that I thought it must be tough, having to select your partner from a smaller-than-normal part of the population, and she said that she had tried to get with a guy once, but she just couldn't do it.

She "just couldn't do it". Huh. Why not, I wondered? I mean, sex is weird enough that changing genitals is probably the smallest factor.

And yesterday, I realized what she was talking about while watching a porn video of an amateur female ESI-Se having sex with her Victim male partner. The woman in the video was terrible at doing for the guy, but she loved doing to the guy. She acted as if she were a straight man who was making a video with another man in it. It was pretty weird to watch, but as a Te-dom, I'm agnostic about where I get my information.

So, I'm guessing that my interior decorator "can't" have sex with a guy because, if she did, then she'd be the girl, and she just refuses to see herself that way. She refuses.

I read somewhere (probably here, on this forum), that ESI-Se's have a lot of conflicted sexual impulses. I can see that is true from my own experiences with the ones I have dated, and the sexual experiences that I've had with ESI-Se's have not been great for me. They point to the conclusion that ESI-Ses are not my particular cup of tea.

I guess I should try harder to get with an ESI-Fi.

[Adam Strange]

I've been reading horror stories from women who want to start dating again after a divorce. They talk about guys who look worse than their pictures, guys who want super models, guys who want women who are 22 years old, guys who don't show for dates and don't respond to texts, guys with whom they just don't connect (most of them), guys who lie about who they are, guys who want sex on the first date, and guys who just don't commit.

Well, I've got news for them. All of those things have happened to me, but they don't make me think that dating is hopeless. Instead, they just mean that I haven't found the right woman yet.

As I was reading their complaints, I was wondering if I did any of those things myself, and I'd have to say, Yes, I did. I did all of them, with the exception of lying about who I am, of not showing up, and of not responding to their texts. I mean, what guy doesn't want sex on the first date with a 22 year old supermodel? Sheesh.

Anyway, I was then considering the possibility that I might be commitment-phobic. I've had a lot of dates with women since my divorce, and I haven't married any of them. You could spin this as "knowing my worth and being choosy", or you could say that I'm completely unrealistic. Could be either one, depending on your perspective.

The one time that I did commit was when I was dating the woman whom I would marry, but who, at the time, I just saw as a potential lay. I mean, she had her good points, but I wasn't looking to marry her. I went over to her apartment and we had dinner and some drinks and I tried to get into her pants and she picked me up and threw me out into the hallway. This really surprised me, because she weighed about 118 lbs and was thin. But this wasn't the first time a woman had thrown me out of her place. If you try a lot, you fail a lot, and it is possible to get used to having doors slammed in your face, if it happens a lot. To not be surprised at it, anyway.*

Ordinarily, that would have been the end of my relationship with her. However, she had one thing that the other women did not have. She was a member of the Astronomy club that I belonged to, and if she told everyone there that I was the kind of guy who asks a woman for sex on the first date, the other guys in the club would definitely think less of me. Maybe a lot less. So, I wrote her an apology and tried to fix things with her, rather than just ghosting her.

I guess it worked. She married me eight months later.


*You fail until you get it right. Let me refer you to the movie Groundhog Day.