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Thread: ESE-IEE relationships

  1. #1
    BandD's Avatar
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    Default ESE-IEE relationships

    How do you see these two types play out? Not necessarily for romantic interests but for friends/family as well.

  2. #2
    lkdhf qkb's Avatar
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    I've never had a close relationship with an ESE. My overall impression of them is that they are caring and pleasing, but too infantilizing. They make nice companions in group settings though, and I like their happy and can do attitude.

    Example of ESE level of infantilizing: when I'll inadvertently spill my drink at the table. They'll act like a mother hen who brings a towel and pats my chin in front of everyone. It's humiliating, I don't like being treated like a newborn that everyone can gawk at while they change my diapers. Mb it's their Se demo? Or contact Si? I prefer a passive approach to "caretaking", like people asking me how I'm doing.

    About Ti seeking:
    Often if I'm engrossed in a some Ti activity, they flock to me and put some kind of pressure on me to give them information. Example: There was a day at uni, when I was I reading a book on comestible mushrooms and how to recognize them(very Si-Ti topic), because with LSI buddy we had planned to go collect them later. There was an ESE acquaintance that came to me to tell me how she loved mushroom collecting and started to bring all her friends so I could explain them how it works; which I found weird because I told her I was reading because I didn't know anything about the topic and she probably knew more than I did... Maybe it was her way of bringing the limelight on me, but instead of making me comfortable, it just made me feel more pressured and "reviewed".
    They can say a lot of nonsense too. I can understand why LIIs would get a kick of correcting them.

    Also, I had a ESE flatmate who had the annoying tendency to ignore that the people around him also had a busy schedule. A typical exchange of messages with my ESE flatmate:

    10 am: Him: "Hey I forgot my keys, but I have to pick up something at home" (not urgent, like a coupon for the supermarket)

    Me "Hey sorry man, I'm at work until 6pm today, but just come around 7pm"

    3pm: Him "Hey man I'm at the door open pls"

    Me: lol no
    It's like I didn't say anything, like he thinks if he imposes his schedule(Se demo + Ni Polr?), everyone will follow. And this over and over again...
    Last edited by lkdhf qkb; 09-03-2021 at 01:01 PM.

  3. #3
    The Evening and the Morning Star Eudaimonia's Avatar
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    I love ESEs they are fun and we vibe very well. That basically everything positive I have to add to this thread, I won't add anything negative.
    "I'ma rock the boat
    Work the middle 'til it hurt a little" - Kanye West
    ENFJ | EIE-Fe | WELP | 3w4 sx/so


  4. #4
    ThatGuyStoleMyBike's Avatar
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    I've only ran across a few IEEs in the last years. I think we get along pretty well, it's always interesting to hear their perspective.
    The ones I came across were typically hanging out in kind of alternative settings, like potpourri of people. I don't think I've met one I would consider 'well-adjusted' to society.
    I'm talking things like, wanting to build a self sufficient community in the woods, trying to create a space for free spirits and all that.
    Those are interesting ideals, but really not practical enough, and too 'detached' from reality in a way.
    The ones that don't have these bigger dreams I don't find very directed in life. They seem to be very happy people though.

    And how a relationship, or friendship would play out? The only deeper friendship I had with an IEE was a bit lopsided. He seemed to be getting a lot of information from me, including information I never intended to convey. I don't think his valuation of it was very healthy, he seemed to be making up things out of thin air. The friendship never really developed into anything beyond that, as I felt pretty misunderstood at times. I also felt like I had to watch my words and be careful to be consistent in a way I didnt really like. Almost like a responsibility, which is really a burden to me.
    For example, I would discuss with my IEE friend how I thought a relationship with some other common friends was playing out, and my role in it. I was trying to convey my approach, what I thought about the relationship and how I was conducting myself. It was met with ethical concerns, even though I fully understood the ethical concerns of the situation as a whole and the implications of my actions on the whole. I just wanted to talk about it really, and not try to find the 'most right' way to deal with it from the perspective of individual people.
    It was never a bad friendship by any means. I don't think we could ever fight over anything, but I just saw quite a few misunderstandings between us that might cause problems longer term.

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    Rebelondeck's Avatar
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    The IEE pulling on the leash trying to run free while the ESE attempts to shorten it.

    a.k.a. I/O

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