Does subtype influence/change romance style?

[Bethanyclaire]

I was looking at some comments at the bottom of the following article about socionics erotic attitudes.

https://www.the16types.info/vbulleti...udes?#comments


Olimpia makes the following comments:

'Someone's subtype influences how much they may lean to the other fellow dynamic or static type.

In that manner, all Aggressors have a Childlike side and vice versa, and all Victims have a Caretaker side and vice versa.

How much this "comes out" or is present in the person depends on the subtype.
(For example, SEE-Fi and SLE-Ti are a bit more Childlike, IEE-Fi and ILE-Ti are a bit more Aggressor, etc.)

Still, the main style mostly prevails, and at the very least becomes apparent on a closer basis.

Most people's romance style behaviour is unconscious, they do not act this way deliberately. Once you deliberately choose to act in a certain way, like acting more coy or aggressive because you get the impression the other person would like that more, you are not acting according to your natural romance style.'



She seems to be saying that some people's romance style can be a 'mix' of two romance styles, if they are a particular subtype.

This got me thinking about people I've been attracted to and whether they may have a subtype/ mix of romance styles. I thought it might explain a little why I was attracted to them. For example an IEE-fi might be appealing to me because they might act a little like an SEE and have a bit of aggressor in their romance style.

This also got me thinking about the romance styles of my family members and how maybe I'm drawn to people with a similar style, for some sort of attachment reason. But I can't figure out my parents subtypes :/

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

well I've always been attracted to SLE-Ses over SLE-Tis which makes sense.

Victims have an aggressor side too, they are kinda both the same thing reversed and sublimated in the psyche imo. The aggressors just go there behaviorally because they are sensors. I can be very aggressor like in fantasy, but in reality my N-ness blocks it lol. The shadow side of SLEs being victims is they often feel like nobody can love or forgive them adequately due to their Fi polr. But in a naive Disney way, if everything works out like it's 'supposed to' - IEIs fill this void for them.

Often the aggressor will know what the victim wants without asking for it which makes it hot, and still asks for consent but in a non corny way. Anyway of course they are not to be taken literally as if so they'd encourage rape/sexual assault, not standing up for your own boundaries, pedophilia and unhealthy codependency ((you can only be with me if I take care of you.))

There's also a lot of subtlety and nuance with the erotic attitudes like I said before. Aggressor/victim sex can actually be quite vanilla-y and Normie objectively speaking - and Caregiver/Infantile can be BDSM etc.

[Toro]

These types, like the conquerors, express their sexuality openly. In daily life they may tend to be rather submissive and as a result may tend to carry over these tendencies into their romantic life. They are won over by indirect acts of submission, and are thrilled when their love interest (in the case of the "psuedo-aggressor" type) acts unlike himself. In a partner, they are looking for their equal - someone whose solid facade they can break down piece by piece.

This is pretty true for me.

SEE-Fi as childish? Maybe. I've been called childish several times.

[Bethanyclaire]

Victims have an aggressor side too, they are kinda both the same thing reversed and sublimated in the psyche imo. The aggressors just go there behaviorally because they are sensors.

yeah and this kinda makes sense why I have a soft spot for my ILE/IEE pals because they have a bit of a caretaker in them as well as infantile. And a bit of caretaker is nice

[Bethanyclaire]

I think Olimpia is saying that a person's romance style will be influenced by which fellow dynamic or static type they relate to. So, an IEI-ni might relate more to an ILI and an IEI-fe might relate more to an SEI. IEI-ni would be more 'pure' victim romance style and IEI-fe might be mainly victim style but with a bit of caregiver too.

I think this might explain why I have sometimes been attracted to the 'wrong' subtype, although I'm not sure how problematic mismatched subtypes really is, I don't think it's the be all and end all. I think it can maybe cause more drama but not necessarily drama that can't be resolved.

I have been strongly attracted to an EIE-ni before, when I was really young. Being EIE-ni he is more like an LIE than ESE and therefore is a very victimy EIE. I liked him because he seemed sad, and I felt like we were kindred souls. I also have an ILI-ni friend who I liked for a long time- he is super IEI-like..or at least there is something really soft about him that I connect with. I think we fancied each other at one point but now I think we are probably much too soft and sweet for each other.

And I think the SEI I liked may after all be SEI-fe. I get on well with SEI-fe males. If they are a bit more like IEIs with a bit of a victim romance style, it kinda makes sense that I would fancy them. They may seem more relatable than SEI-si because the victim style might make them seem more like a kindred romatic spirit.

Same could be said for SEE-fi. They might seem less intense/ aggressive than an SEE-se. A bit more dreamy/ fun.

I could be over-stating things but I do enjoy keeping a look out for patterns.

[Bethanyclaire]

I think in general thinking about a type as having a romance style that is both their own plus the style of their lookalike/kindred is interesting. A different way of seeing a type. Eg. An LIE has a bit of caregiver LSE in them..aw.

[Stray Cat]

ILE-Ti & SLE-Ti are similar because their communication styles are nearly identical. Not only do they sound similar but their ethical/logical dimensions are identical.

This is why an EIE-Fe might be drawn to an LII-Ti. It is because LSI-Ti and LII-Ti will, superficially, communicate nearly identically. With regard to romantic/erotic style, sexual attraction can be very superficial on a psychological level

I believe subtype does effect erotic style but only on a superficial level psychologically.

[velveteen]

I'm ESI-Se and super hot for an ILI-Ni, but I also find him insufferable in a way that I wouldn't find LIE-Ni insufferable.