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Thread: SLE attachment style

  1. #1
    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Default SLE attachment style

    Dear SLE please state your attachment style and how do you feel it effects your Fi?
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Rebelondeck's Avatar
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    Attached SLE is an oxymoron.

    a.k.a. I/O

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    Adam Strange's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rebelondeck View Post
    Attached SLE is an oxymoron.

    a.k.a. I/O

    Actually, I know two SLEs who are very loyal to their SOs. Have been for four years, anyway.

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    Rebelondeck's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    Actually, I know two SLEs who are very loyal to their SOs. Have been for four years, anyway.
    Ep loyalty tends not to indicate actual attachment because they hold everyone at a distance (for objectivity) - similar to Ijs but in a more tail-wagging fashion.

    a.k.a. I/O

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    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rebelondeck View Post
    Attached SLE is an oxymoron.

    a.k.a. I/O
    Attachment style lol the attachment style test ahHaha
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

  6. #6
    Tim's Avatar
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    I'm dismissive toward most people because I valued my freedom the most.

    However, when it comes to someone who I care about and since I'm sx/sp, I was fearful-avoidant when I was younger. Back then, it was difficult for me to express my feeling outside anger and joy. I think that's the manifestation of sexual 8, and also, the fact that I'm from a family who is all Te/Fi valuer who look down when I react. Now, whenever I closer to innocence and since I have been with my last dual and since I learn about typology, my attachment style is more anxious since I realize that someone who I love are more trustworthy than I would realize.

    Come and think about it, I'm social-blind because my environment (the Deep South) is very Beta friendly. Thus, they fulfilled my social need. It's just that my family is not Beta friendly.

    On Sexual 8:
    http://theenneagram.blogspot.com/2007/09/type-8.html
    Want stability, loyalty and predictability in close relationships. May feel easily betrayed, and are prone to suspicion. Can love deeply, have a genuine close-up interest in and concern for spouse. Since life is dangerous they want to choose close allies carefully. Attached to the idea of being able to trust completely. Lots of testing of their partner's motives. If they pass the tests then the Eight relaxes. When entranced, this can lead to possessive obsession, and a need to dominate and control partner. Intimate Eights can get codependent, jealous, hooked into the other. Sometimes can't let go; their partner's every move is (over)reacted to. When very unhealthy, spousal abuse scenarios are possible. Stalking, vengeful vows to follow other to the ends of the earth, etc. Connected to the low side of 2.
    https://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/viewdo...=rep1&type=pdf
    Interestingly, this source tied being fearful-avoidant as an enneagram 6, 8, and 9w8 trait; dismissive-avoidant is more of a 5 or 7 trait; anxious-preoccupied as a 2 or 4, and secure as 1, 3, and 9w1 trait.
    Last edited by Tim; 07-30-2021 at 05:59 PM.

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    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    Actually, I know two SLEs who are very loyal to their SOs. Have been for four years, anyway.
    I know 6 SLE who are loyally married and two of them with their dual
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Poptart's Avatar
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    My SLE ex probably had an anxious attachment style. Always getting mad if I didn’t immediately pick up the phone/respond to his texts and also demanding to know where I was at all times lol.

    How this relates to Fi polr- poor understanding of relationship boundaries.

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