Originally Posted by
FreelancePoliceman
Regarding Fe bases: I think either they don’t lie so frequently/are so intentionally deceitful as Fe creatives, or if they do lie, it doesn’t seem to be compulsive for them.
I’ve known more ESE than EIE, so this may not be as true for EIE, but something strikes me as much more deceitful about xEI. The ESE I’ve known generally tell white lies to smooth things over, usually to questions like “what do you think of my...” But these types of lies seem to be in accord with their values, and I’ve never known an ESE to be particularly conflicted about their answer; if you press them they’ll just be annoyed and tell you they felt they were doing the right thing; end of story. They also don’t seem to mind telling the truth when they perceive it will be more appreciated. xEIs give me an impression of having more “flexible” values, and I don’t think it’s just about “not rocking the boat” with them — not only do they strike me as more willing to lie to get ahead materially, they seem to be looking constantly for ways to do this. Their lies are more of a sort that if you press them, they get cagey or defensive and avoid coming up with justifications for what they said.
When I was in a relationship with an SEI, something that I really didn’t like was a feeling she would never quite level with me. She’d tell me something, something would strike me as not quite right about her response, and I’d have to ask a million questions to get something approximating the truth. Or I’d have to come up with outright evidence she’d been lying to me and say “what gives.” What bothered me most was a feeling like any time she’d lie it was over something inconsequential — like there was no reason to do it, yet she’d do it anyway.
I don’t want to give too many examples, but for instance, one time she decided to try going back on antidepressants, without telling me, since she knew I disapproved. The first day she began taking them I asked if she’d been taking anything, since her behavior seemed different. “...No.” It wasn’t until much later she admitted it. And that’s the sort of thing I mean — regarding an example like that, I’m not exactly a very angry person IRL, and I never tried to control her personal decisions like that. If she’d had said “yes” I would have sighed and asked for how long she was planning to stay on them. So the feeling was she’d be willing to lie to me just to escape a feeling I’d disapprove of her — but even in that instance, it was like she never thought I’d be actually mad to find she lied to me over almost nothing!
Maybe this was just a particularly unhealthy relationship, but given the xEI I’ve known, I can’t imagine this is too atypical. Given the assumption that xLE are supposedly perfect for them, I wonder if xLE like being kept on their toes. Personally, I don’t.
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