
Originally Posted by
FreelancePoliceman
You know, when I was a kid and a young teenager I lived more in my imagination than the real world. Many people say this, idealizing their past, but for me it was really true, and caused very great problems for me. One of those problems was how crushingly disappointing the real world was. In my imagination I surrounded myself with wise super-men (and women) and considered myself humbly willing to remain inferior, human, and relatively dumb. Finding to my horror that well over half the species was even dumber than myself, of whose intelligence I had a low opinion, was a shock from which I never recovered. It made me actually angry for a long time to hear someone say I was smart; I felt like screaming “I’m not! I’m 13 and if you think I’m smart you’re a fucking moron; you shouldn’t be content to be!” Similarly it made me angry to find that people weren’t interested in developing an independent, consistent approach to life; my conception of reality came from books, which don’t tend to be written about people whose outlook changes day by day according to public opinion.
Unfortunately, while I’m not Fi valuing and cursed to the perpetual hell ILI find themselves in of needing to relate to people constantly and being burned by their vapidity, I would like to approach my wife differently, and trying to understand most people well enough to have a heart-to-heart conversation with them makes me to kill myself. So my outlook is somewhat pessimistic.
Socionics offers some hope, but not much. I think my options are an identical (not very likely; do you know many LII who particularly enjoy each other’s company? I don’t see why it can’t happen in theory, but I never actually see it. Most LII annoy me, personally; strike me as too passive and narrow-minded. But, hey, I think it could work) or a dog — an ESE, who I don’t understand and doesn’t understand me but we love each other anyway! — or a dog with more mutual understanding; an EIE.
But EIEs are...variable, to say the least. I often like them, but finding one I’d feel safe marrying would seem difficult to me, especially as they don’t strike me as a common type. And ESE — well, a good 4 out of 5 of them at least are really basic, and those 4 are not interested in N types anyway.
If I knew people who didn’t annoy me I wouldn’t be on this forum, lol.
Sex never lasts, but there’s nothing shameful in wanting it! シ I don’t hear you criticizing a hungry person for trying to eat because they’ll just be hungry again at some other point in their life, or because by searching for food they’ll miss out on social opportunities to make lasting friendships!
Believe me I’m aware of a need for it. Or at least an intense desire for it. But I’m beginning to feel at this point like it might be easier to make friends with demons who want to eat me than other humans.
Blah blah lilith is the anima blah blah OK since this doesn’t seem to be clear to you I’d like to feel leathery wings and a firey breath against my skin; if I want to feel a sexual connection with the imaginary ideal lady whose image I unconsciously judge every other woman by I can just masturbate!