Member Questionnaire 1 (MissDucki)
What is beauty? What is love?
I know it's cliche but I think beauty is in the eye of the beholder. A natural attraction that you can't look away and that is just simply pleasing. It balances and you just want to be drawn into it. Sometimes it is hidden and sometimes its overt. I always find it the most interesting when some finds something beautiful that I don't. I want to know why they are feeling that way and see it from their view. I want to see it, feel it, experience it so I can understand and see beauty from a different perspective. I have this postcard of this painting I saw in Frankfurt that is weird, strange, and 'ugly'. Red background with a bunch of weird looking heads that are looking at you. I could not look away and was drawn to it and I had to buy the postcard with it to add to my wall of postcards.
Love is a choice. Not in the sense that you can 'choose' your person or whatever, but I have always seen love as an active choice with freedom. Love is an action you continue to choose. I've always struggled with the concept that 'blood is thicker then water' as I viewed it as 'you must love simply because of certain bonds automatically tied to you'. I love my family, I choose them not because of blood but because I want to choose them. I think you can experience the feeling of love while both acknowledge you cant choose them out of 'love'. I choose my family, friends, and partner because I love them and thus I continue to make free choices to continuously choose them. Forced love is the worst. Feelings alone are a shackle. I think also the worse thing is to destroy yourself out of 'love'.
What are your most important values?
Treating others with respect. Freedom to choose above all else but actions also have consequences. Never killing your sense of self over anyone. Try your best. Never forcing your views on others. Be honest, don't try and be deceitful. Honor your word. Protect innocence. Be kind. Don't let anyone take advantage of you.
Do you have any sort of spiritual/religious beliefs, and why do you hold (or don't) those beliefs in the first place?
Two that I generally believe is that I do believe in God and I believe everything happens for a reason. I don't like organized religion, personally. I like tarot cards and I generally believe in manifestation. I tend to fall on these more during hard times then anything. I do believe in certain signs though as well. It's not healthy for me to lean on spirituality on a heavy side, as I feel out of control and the universe is in control and I don't like that. I keep it to a healthy minimum to keep my ego sane.
Opinion on war and militaries? What is power to you?
Don't like it but, it is what it is. In a perfect world we wouldn't have it but, we are not in one. People do it for money, power, and ego more then anything but, if we didn't participate, we would not have the nations we have today. I view war and military as a necessary fucked up evil in humanity that will never go away.
Power is something you only have so people don't bother you. I have a bit of a negative view on power personally as it is something that can be easily taken away and it is very fragile. Power always corrupts and so I am wary of it in such a way.
What have you had long conversations about? What are your interests? Why?
Anything really. I always like chatting about what people believe in, thoughts, fears, personal things. I like chatting about light things but I really enjoy getting to know people on a personal level. I am interested in a lot of different things. I am more interested in more "intellectual' hobbies then when I was younger (theories, politics, ideology) but I enjoy more physical activities like running, food, and crafting too. I really enjoy being creative in any craft, that makes me the happiest. The freedom to create how I feel is important to me.
Interested in health/medicine as a conversation topic? Are you focused on your body?
ehhhhh depends. I don't think too hard into it unless I am worried about something or if there is a problem. I am pretty focused on my body so I kinda naturally monitor when something is wrong. Especially when there is a change, I am a bit sensitive to it. I'm probably the most protective over my health and psychical well being. I get stressed very easily and I hate when my body is out of whack. I trust doctors in general but I am not afraid to search out another opinion if I really need to.
What do you think of daily chores?
Depends. When I already have a lot on my plate, I hate it. When I am stressed, I really appreciate them. I don't mind daily chores if there is some fluctuation. I hate having to do a specific schedule every time, I would loose my mind. I like it when I can take my time with daily chores. I can like daily chores but i have 'having' to do daily chores if that makes sense?
Books or films you liked? Recently read/watched or otherwise. Examples welcome.
What has made you cry? What has made you smile? Why?
am sensitive so a lot of things can make me cry. When I see animals in pain, when I see people in pain, when my feelings are ignored, when my experiences are ignored, when I am invalidated, when I am stressed, when I feel I am taken advantaged of etc...
What has made me smile is people trying their best, achievement, cute animals, a video, humor. I smile a lot, sometimes out of politeness, to ease a mood, sometimes out of pure happiness. I smile more to disarm people more then anything. I like smiles, means your approachable.
Where do you feel: at one with the environment/a sense of belonging?
I am very sensitive to my environment so it's important for me to adapt and feel belonging or leave if I can't. I hate being stuck in an environment that is negative or I feel stuck. It is extremely important for me to feel like I fit in and I am heard and there is positive emotion.
What have people seen as your weaknesses? What do you dislike about yourself?
I think my naïvety is and my stubbornness is my biggest weakness. I struggle with confidence in my abilities, anxiety, overthinking and cowardice at times.
What have people seen as your strengths? What do you like about yourself?
People have told me that I can be brave. People say that I am always 100% myself. People have mentioned that I am good with people and good with seeing patterns with people and that I am creative. I've always liked that I do my own thing. I like that I am willing to try things even when I m scared. I like that I am willing to go when things are not working. I've always enjoyed my passion for things and my resilience. Honestly, I like my spitefulness as well. More in the sense that I like that I will do whatever it takes even if it can hinder me.
In what areas of your life would you like help?
Confidence in the future and reaching my goals. Somebody that can make the future less scary about what can go wrong and that it is okay for me to go after my goals. People that can accurately show me where my skills stand and help to improve them. Confidence in my intellect. Somebody can help me with financial future as well.
Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it.
What qualities do you most like and dislike in other people? What types do you get along with?
I dislike people who are selfish, that always assume and never ask, that believe there view is only the right view, that deny reality and the facts of the situation, that lie to themselves, that deny they are leading with their emotions and not with the facts of a situation, that never admit they are wrong, aggressive, extremely prideful, too stubborn with their views, don't know when to back down, too emotional, and will manipulate you to get what they want.
I like people who are honest, passionate, have an idea about their future, adventurous, reliant, resilient, question themselves, intellectual, protective, can argue different points of view, open minded, accepting, emotionally available.
How do you feel about romance/sex? What qualities do you want in a partner?
Qualities that I enjoy are someone who is emotionally available, open-minded, reliable, consistent, adventurous, future focused, preferably a logical personality, a good communicator, can make me laugh, make me think, protective, good with children, relaxed, laid-back, can see positive opportunities, respectful, and kind.
If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what measures would you take, and why?
I have a lot of concerns with raising a child. Would I be financially stable enough? do I have the right partner? did we take enough precautions to make sure that our genetics would be good together? What kind of temperament will the child have? Will I be emotionally available enough so the child feels safe? What signs do I have to look out for if he starts to show anxiety? Where can I find support etc... having a child is a very serious thing for me so I would do anything and everything in my power to prepare and make sure that they grow up with the most fertile ground to bloom.
A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward and outward reaction?
I generally try to take the middle path outwardly. I won't disagree with them completely but I won't fully agree. Inward reaction, I just start questioning. If it is an extreme clash with current beliefs, from there I will internally just debate if I should take a step back from the friendship or live and let live attitude.
Describe your relationship to society. How do you see people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one.
Love/hate relationship with society and people. People are both great and shitty. I can't control either even though society basically dictates that it's our own fault that we don't adhere to certain guidelines or things. I don't like groups of people, I prefer individuals. The more we group, the more stereotypical and tribal we get with people and we start to loose empathy and whatnot. Groups can have positive aspects but, just not something I like personally.
How do you choose your friends and how do you behave around them?
I tend to make more intuitive friends. They tend to have a different background then me. I tend to make sure we either have the similar values or interested in similar things. I am more extroverted and passionate around my friends. A lot more scattered brained and I tend to monologue more.
How do you behave around strangers?
I am either really friendly or polite. Either way, I like to close the distance or put more depending on the vibe I am getting with the stranger or the situation. As long as I come across disarming and keep the harmony, I am really happy. I am more extroverted with strangers that I am in an unfamiliar space and need to 'emote' or a bit colder in my own territory.