Quote Originally Posted by flowers and sugar View Post
That's tough to help you here imo. We don't know her nor the settings.
Getting close to you could mean learning about socionics, would she be interested or not? Probably because Ti. What would she think of duality? All I have is questions and questions, and all I know is you don't seem sure about her.
Ever told her about how compatible you two are and how you both could find better? Her reaction could be enlightening... or it will creep her out and you won't have to wonder, lol.
There's a thing I like to do when I don't know what to pick, I toss a coin. Heads you make a move, tails you bail out.
The thing is, you don't look at what side you got, you stay open to your own internal reactions to which side you hope to get and go with this. You could have an idea that isn't either options, like talking to her about all this.
A pendulum offers more options but is trickier to maneuver.
Once heard Ni doms tend to choose one option then continually doubt that option. I'm not Ni dom but as an Se-dom, Ni is somewhat necessary for Se to function optimally.

Interesting story. Once I got to college, my childhood best friend of 20 years wouldn't think twice about choosing a chick he'd just met over our friendship. Understandable to a point but, I mean, if it had been months since he & I kicked it he'd still choose her even though he saw her everyday

Point is, at that moment in time, all could think about were his desires. And, fuck yeah, him finding a lady was awesome. But myself being a 23 year old dude, I figured he could have handled shit better.

Quote Originally Posted by myresearch View Post
After learning about socionics, I noticed that I am highly attracted solely by Fe egos, more precisely beta NFs but I haven't met with any avaliable alpha SF male and even if I did, I interacted with them in a such short amount of time, I don't even know their types. Generally, Fe-egos show up and use emotional methods, persuasion, tricks and sometimes manipulation and some succeed to open the gates of my heart or make me realize that I enjoy all this stuff, then I can get attracted by other people.

Now this could be a result of my Fe seeking or could be a result of my upbringing or individualistic features. However, I generally see F-seeking types literally seeking F, some can be more aware of it and some may not.

I think other IEs that are not F also have their own language of love. For example, Ni-egos might be in need of decisive response and position to show their devotion and Se egos might seek devoted individuals to be decisive on. I haven't observed a lot of Si/Ne-dom couples, according to my insufficient observations and my own perception, Ne is more about being alligned with where you stand intellectually, like why are you doing or choosing something, what is your motive in it. They value matching with their partner on an intellectual level, that's why it is based on finding mutual interests etc. I am interested to hear about this more if people want to add or change something.

I think duality is overly idealized and romanticized in socionics communities. People can approach life, relationships differently than each other regardless of their type. They can have opposite individualistic qualities, they can find different things important and headed in different direction of life. Besides, in relationships, passion generally tends to decrease after years. There are other obstacles in life that affects one's general mental and emotional state. Duality can cause a person to behave and communicate in a way without needing to adapt. Duals can give each other subconcious confirmations to devalue some unvalued IEs, which could make them unadaptable in life and resent each other because of it. Saying that non-dual couples also tend to have problems due to different reasons. Long relationships require some effort and commitment from both parties regardless of ITR. Hence I don't think that duality is a magic pill that guarantees anything, so dualized people can find their partner dissatisfying, have a wandering eye, want to try something else etc. According to my observations, some people admire their dual and some people overlook, some people like them but as a friend. I personally don't want to limit my relationship with someone due to socionics if it is working in reality.
Yeah, being on auto-pilot is a dumb move. Boxing one self in might be a mistake, something that person can humbly correct.

Sometimes one has to ask themselves, "What the fuck am I doing & why am I doing it?". "What are the motivations for my actions, where could these actions lead & will such actions really benefit myself and those around me?".

But yeah, if anyone has another perspective to contribute feel free