Quote Originally Posted by Stray Cat View Post
My logical framework says, "SEI & SLE won't work cause of the erotic attitude clash".... and I use logic to make most choices. I care for her but don't want to invest then feel butt hurt later cause she's more compatible with some other bloke.

We have perfectly matching subtypes & dig going on "extreme" adventures together. Her LII ex was a homebody & an stickler for Si (danger avoidance)
After learning about socionics, I noticed that I am highly attracted solely by Fe egos, more precisely beta NFs but I haven't met with any avaliable alpha SF male and even if I did, I interacted with them in a such short amount of time, I don't even know their types. Generally, Fe-egos show up and use emotional methods, persuasion, tricks and sometimes manipulation and some succeed to open the gates of my heart or make me realize that I enjoy all this stuff, then I can get attracted by other people.

Now this could be a result of my Fe seeking or could be a result of my upbringing or individualistic features. However, I generally see F-seeking types literally seeking F, some can be more aware of it and some may not.

I think other IEs that are not F also have their own language of love. For example, Ni-egos might be in need of decisive response and position to show their devotion and Se egos might seek devoted individuals to be decisive on. I haven't observed a lot of Si/Ne-dom couples, according to my insufficient observations and my own perception, Ne is more about being alligned with where you stand intellectually, like why are you doing or choosing something, what is your motive in it. They value matching with their partner on an intellectual level, that's why it is based on finding mutual interests etc. I am interested to hear about this more if people want to add or change something.

I think duality is overly idealized and romanticized in socionics communities. People can approach life, relationships differently than each other regardless of their type. They can have opposite individualistic qualities, they can find different things important and headed in different direction of life. Besides, in relationships, passion generally tends to decrease after years. There are other obstacles in life that affects one's general mental and emotional state. Duality can cause a person to behave and communicate in a way without needing to adapt. Duals can give each other subconcious confirmations to devalue some unvalued IEs, which could make them unadaptable in life and resent each other because of it. Saying that non-dual couples also tend to have problems due to different reasons. Long relationships require some effort and commitment from both parties regardless of ITR. Hence I don't think that duality is a magic pill that guarantees anything, so dualized people can find their partner dissatisfying, have a wandering eye, want to try something else etc. According to my observations, some people admire their dual and some people overlook, some people like them but as a friend. I personally don't want to limit my relationship with someone due to socionics if it is working in reality.