Your mirage meets their dual/activity. Your honest take

[Stray Cat]

@Stray Cat Do you see any problems right now when you are interacting with SEI or do you want to know if there could be problems in the future due to Ne/Ni seeking?

My logical framework says, "SEI & SLE won't work cause of the erotic attitude clash".... and I use logic to make most choices. I care for her but don't want to invest then feel butt hurt later cause she's more compatible with some other bloke.

We have perfectly matching subtypes & dig going on "extreme" adventures together. Her LII ex was a homebody & an stickler for Si (danger avoidance)

[myresearch]

My logical framework says, "SEI & SLE won't work cause of the erotic attitude clash".... and I use logic to make most choices. I care for her but don't want to invest then feel butt hurt later cause she's more compatible with some other bloke.

We have perfectly matching subtypes & dig going on "extreme" adventures together. Her LII ex was a homebody & an stickler for Si (danger avoidance)

After learning about socionics, I noticed that I am highly attracted solely by Fe egos, more precisely beta NFs but I haven't met with any avaliable alpha SF male and even if I did, I interacted with them in a such short amount of time, I don't even know their types. Generally, Fe-egos show up and use emotional methods, persuasion, tricks and sometimes manipulation and some succeed to open the gates of my heart or make me realize that I enjoy all this stuff, then I can get attracted by other people.

Now this could be a result of my Fe seeking or could be a result of my upbringing or individualistic features. However, I generally see F-seeking types literally seeking F, some can be more aware of it and some may not.

I think other IEs that are not F also have their own language of love. For example, Ni-egos might be in need of decisive response and position to show their devotion and Se egos might seek devoted individuals to be decisive on. I haven't observed a lot of Si/Ne-dom couples, according to my insufficient observations and my own perception, Ne is more about being alligned with where you stand intellectually, like why are you doing or choosing something, what is your motive in it. They value matching with their partner on an intellectual level, that's why it is based on finding mutual interests etc. I am interested to hear about this more if people want to add or change something.

I think duality is overly idealized and romanticized in socionics communities. People can approach life, relationships differently than each other regardless of their type. They can have opposite individualistic qualities, they can find different things important and headed in different direction of life. Besides, in relationships, passion generally tends to decrease after years. There are other obstacles in life that affects one's general mental and emotional state. Duality can cause a person to behave and communicate in a way without needing to adapt. Duals can give each other subconcious confirmations to devalue some unvalued IEs, which could make them unadaptable in life and resent each other because of it. Saying that non-dual couples also tend to have problems due to different reasons. Long relationships require some effort and commitment from both parties regardless of ITR. Hence I don't think that duality is a magic pill that guarantees anything, so dualized people can find their partner dissatisfying, have a wandering eye, want to try something else etc. According to my observations, some people admire their dual and some people overlook, some people like them but as a friend. I personally don't want to limit my relationship with someone due to socionics if it is working in reality.

[FreelancePoliceman]

After learning about socionics, I noticed that I am highly attracted solely by Fe egos, more precisely beta NFs but I haven't met with any avaliable alpha SF male and even if I did, I interacted with them in a such short amount of time, I don't even know their types. Generally, Fe-egos show up and use emotional methods, persuasion, tricks and sometimes manipulation and some succeed to open the gates of my heart or make me realize that I enjoy all this stuff, then I can get attracted by other people.

Not related to the rest of the post, but my experience with beta NFs is similar, fwiw. I tend to interact more and be more attracted to them than by Alpha SFs.

Now this could be a result of my Fe seeking or could be a result of my upbringing or individualistic features. However, I generally see F-seeking types literally seeking F, some can be more aware of it and some may not.

I've also noticed this. Some T types will also seem to seek other T people, but this seems less common than F people seeking F. I'm not sure what to make of it.

I think other IEs that are not F also have their own language of love. For example, Ni-egos might be in need of decisive response and position to show their devotion and Se egos might seek devoted individuals to be decisive on. I haven't observed a lot of Si/Ne-dom couples, according to my insufficient observations and my own perception, Ne is more about being alligned with where you stand intellectually, like why are you doing or choosing something, what is your motive in it. They value matching with their partner on an intellectual level, that's why it is based on finding mutual interests etc. I am interested to hear about this more if people want to add or change something.

Personally speaking I don't think I care if someone has similar interests. I just like people who are curious and open. What they're particularly interested in is less important.

Wanting to understand people's motives I can relate to, maybe. I like to talk to people about why they make the choices they make. I'm not sure that's common to all Ne egos though; I don't think ILEs are so interested in this, for instance.

I think duality is overly idealized and romanticized in socionics communities. People can approach life, relationships differently than each other regardless of their type. They can have opposite individualistic qualities, they can find different things important and headed in different direction of life. Besides, in relationships, passion generally tends to decrease after years. There are other obstacles in life that affects one's general mental and emotional state. Duality can cause a person to behave and communicate in a way without needing to adapt. Duals can give each other subconcious confirmations to devalue some unvalued IEs, which could make them unadaptable in life and resent each other because of it. Saying that non-dual couples also tend to have problems due to different reasons. Long relationships require some effort and commitment from both parties regardless of ITR. Hence I don't think that duality is a magic pill that guarantees anything, so dualized people can find their partner dissatisfying, have a wandering eye, want to try something else etc. According to my observations, some people admire their dual and some people overlook, some people like them but as a friend. I personally don't want to limit my relationship with someone due to socionics if it is working in reality.

I agree.

[persimmonism]

I've also noticed this. Some T types will also seem to seek other T people, but this seems less common than F people seeking F. I'm not sure what to make of it.

Just my 2 cents, I think F people seeking F is common because they seek a similar level of sensitivity in emotions and emotional depth/fluency in others, and these things are more outwardly apparent in F types.
For example, some female F friends of mine describe ideal partners with adjectives such as "emotionally sensitive" "artistic" etc in abundance..

[The Reality Denialist]

For example, some female F friends of mine describe ideal partners with adjectives such as "emotionally sensitive" "artistic" etc in abundance..

And later they bitch about it..?

[PinKDiGiT18]

Just my 2 cents, I think F people seeking F is common because they seek a similar level of sensitivity in emotions and emotional depth/fluency in others, and these things are more outwardly apparent in F types.
For example, some female F friends of mine describe ideal partners with adjectives such as "emotionally sensitive" "artistic" etc in abundance..

It’s me, I’m one of those. On some level, we think that another ethical type is our ideal for the reasons you listed, but we fail to take into account you can’t go at life solely with ethics. Rational types cool off the fire of ethical types, something ethicals can’t do for themselves or for other ethical types. That’s my problem with ESE - we emotionally stimulate one another and neither one of us wants to be logical, so we get stuck in the ethical “on” position and it’s very uncomfortable.

From what I’ve seen, rational types are the same way - they say they value level-headedness and practicality above all else in a partner, and then once in a relationship with a fellow logical type they find themselves in an emotional desert.

[Stray Cat]

It’s me, I’m one of those. On some level, we think that another ethical type is our ideal for the reasons you listed, but we fail to take into account you can’t go at life solely with ethics. Rational types cool off the fire of ethical types, something ethicals can’t do for themselves or for other ethical types. That’s my problem with ESE - we emotionally stimulate one another and neither one of us wants to be logical, so we get stuck in the ethical “on” position and it’s very uncomfortable.

From what I’ve seen, rational types are the same way - they say they value level-headedness and practicality above all else in a partner, and then once in a relationship with a fellow logical type they find themselves in an emotional desert.

Certain folk oughta read what you just wrote.

Some people are desperate. Maybe I'm wrong but liking someone who's just "nice" is superficial. People should try dating themselves. Take yourself out somewhere, read an article with yourself, watch a flick with yourself Once a person adequately knows themselves, find a compliment.

[FreelancePoliceman]

It’s me, I’m one of those. On some level, we think that another ethical type is our ideal for the reasons you listed, but we fail to take into account you can’t go at life solely with ethics. Rational types cool off the fire of ethical types, something ethicals can’t do for themselves or for other ethical types. That’s my problem with ESE - we emotionally stimulate one another and neither one of us wants to be logical, so we get stuck in the ethical “on” position and it’s very uncomfortable.

From what I’ve seen, rational types are the same way - they say they value level-headedness and practicality above all else in a partner, and then once in a relationship with a fellow logical type they find themselves in an emotional desert.

Have you been with any T type before? I’m curious if you could explain what you valued about them. And how does lack of logic manifest itself as a problem?

[PinKDiGiT18]

Have you been with any T type before? I’m curious if you could explain what you valued about them. And how does lack of logic manifest itself as a problem?

Yes - but the specific person was arguably unhealthy, so I won’t use that story for reference.

Both my parents are T types, and most of my close friends have been T types. At least for me, I find them easier to get along with than ethical types. They argue less over frivolous matters, give great advice, and are often solid and loyal in the face of difficult situations. Ethical types are more inclined to follow the call of their emotions to do something they said they wouldn’t, but logical types are less inclined to inconsistent behavior. I can breathe easy with most T types.

Usually the absence of logic with a pair of ethical types manifests as an inability to calmly deal with matters. Normally, an F brings their ethical concern to the T, who then offers their thoughts and solutions. The F is relieved of ethical stress, and the T feels needed and loved. But in an F-F relationship, both people are constantly bringing concerns to the other without getting any meaningful (to them) feedback, and start to think the other person is deliberately not “using their brain.” This typically results in very emotionally charged arguments.

[Stray Cat]

That's tough to help you here imo. We don't know her nor the settings.
Getting close to you could mean learning about socionics, would she be interested or not? Probably because Ti. What would she think of duality? All I have is questions and questions, and all I know is you don't seem sure about her.
Ever told her about how compatible you two are and how you both could find better? Her reaction could be enlightening... or it will creep her out and you won't have to wonder, lol.
There's a thing I like to do when I don't know what to pick, I toss a coin. Heads you make a move, tails you bail out.
The thing is, you don't look at what side you got, you stay open to your own internal reactions to which side you hope to get and go with this. You could have an idea that isn't either options, like talking to her about all this.
A pendulum offers more options but is trickier to maneuver.

Once heard Ni doms tend to choose one option then continually doubt that option. I'm not Ni dom but as an Se-dom, Ni is somewhat necessary for Se to function optimally.

Interesting story. Once I got to college, my childhood best friend of 20 years wouldn't think twice about choosing a chick he'd just met over our friendship. Understandable to a point but, I mean, if it had been months since he & I kicked it he'd still choose her even though he saw her everyday

Point is, at that moment in time, all could think about were his desires. And, fuck yeah, him finding a lady was awesome. But myself being a 23 year old dude, I figured he could have handled shit better.

After learning about socionics, I noticed that I am highly attracted solely by Fe egos, more precisely beta NFs but I haven't met with any avaliable alpha SF male and even if I did, I interacted with them in a such short amount of time, I don't even know their types. Generally, Fe-egos show up and use emotional methods, persuasion, tricks and sometimes manipulation and some succeed to open the gates of my heart or make me realize that I enjoy all this stuff, then I can get attracted by other people.

Now this could be a result of my Fe seeking or could be a result of my upbringing or individualistic features. However, I generally see F-seeking types literally seeking F, some can be more aware of it and some may not.

I think other IEs that are not F also have their own language of love. For example, Ni-egos might be in need of decisive response and position to show their devotion and Se egos might seek devoted individuals to be decisive on. I haven't observed a lot of Si/Ne-dom couples, according to my insufficient observations and my own perception, Ne is more about being alligned with where you stand intellectually, like why are you doing or choosing something, what is your motive in it. They value matching with their partner on an intellectual level, that's why it is based on finding mutual interests etc. I am interested to hear about this more if people want to add or change something.

I think duality is overly idealized and romanticized in socionics communities. People can approach life, relationships differently than each other regardless of their type. They can have opposite individualistic qualities, they can find different things important and headed in different direction of life. Besides, in relationships, passion generally tends to decrease after years. There are other obstacles in life that affects one's general mental and emotional state. Duality can cause a person to behave and communicate in a way without needing to adapt. Duals can give each other subconcious confirmations to devalue some unvalued IEs, which could make them unadaptable in life and resent each other because of it. Saying that non-dual couples also tend to have problems due to different reasons. Long relationships require some effort and commitment from both parties regardless of ITR. Hence I don't think that duality is a magic pill that guarantees anything, so dualized people can find their partner dissatisfying, have a wandering eye, want to try something else etc. According to my observations, some people admire their dual and some people overlook, some people like them but as a friend. I personally don't want to limit my relationship with someone due to socionics if it is working in reality.

Yeah, being on auto-pilot is a dumb move. Boxing one self in might be a mistake, something that person can humbly correct.

Sometimes one has to ask themselves, "What the fuck am I doing & why am I doing it?". "What are the motivations for my actions, where could these actions lead & will such actions really benefit myself and those around me?".

But yeah, if anyone has another perspective to contribute feel free