Are activation relations really the best for friendship?

[persimmonism]

Unfortunately such relations of sacrifice are so rare that we might as well be loners for the rest of our lives. It is hard to meet someone you can truly accept and engage with, socionics aside. We kind of have to put down our illusions of such things happening and accept reality.

I don't think putting the other person first necessarily means something as extreme as sacrifice.

[MidnightWilderness]

I don't think putting the other person first necessarily means something as extreme as sacrifice.

Yes because you sacrifice valuable time to be with them. Putting somebody first above everything else means you sacrifice other priorities for them. In real life the action is less dramatic because usually by that point it feels like less of a sacrifice because you actually like to spend time with that person.

I don't know, I don't really have any friends. I used to but it went over kind of badly so I am a little cynical when it comes to friendships.

Frankly I have given up on friendship for the time being as I have no current purpose for a friend, besides I am moving so what's the point?

[persimmonism]

Yes because you sacrifice valuable time to be with them. Putting somebody first above everything else means you sacrifice other priorities for them. In real life the action is less dramatic because usually by that point it feels like less of a sacrifice because you actually like to spend time with that person.

I don't know, I don't really have any friends. I used to but it went over kind of badly so I am a little cynical when it comes to friendships.

Frankly I have given up on friendship for the time being as I have no current purpose for a friend, besides I am moving so what's the point?

Friendships don't need to have purpose and I've found that having expectations can ruin my internal experience of them. in any case i hope and believe you'll have successful friendships in the future.

[MidnightWilderness]

Friendships don't need to have purpose and I've found that having expectations can ruin my internal experience of them. in any case i hope and believe you'll have successful friendships in the future.

I don't really have any expectations, I guess I am just too introverted and insane for friends. I don't understand why people have friendships because I can't really feel connected to people and their conversations.

Are friends just for fun then? And what is fun when talking to someone even like?

I think I will only have successful friendships when I can become more interesting as a human being and finally regain sanity. Which is entirely possible, but it's really difficult to restructure your mind that way.

[persimmonism]

I don't really have any expectations, I guess I am just too introverted and insane for friends. I don't understand why people have friendships because I can't really feel connected to people and their conversations.

Are friends just for fun then? And what is fun when talking to someone even like?

I think I will only have successful friendships when I can become more interesting as a human being and finally regain sanity. Which is entirely possible, but it's really difficult to restructure your mind that way.

No you're a very interesting person, i've told u before and i firmly believe it!! I just think you need to be less self-absorbed and take life and yourself less seriously.
saying this because I've been there too.

Friends are for fun, sure, but on a deeper level, people are the ones with the power to bring you up or down. (that's where choosing good friends comes in) you shouldn't underestimate this power.

Personally, fun is when the socialization stops feeling like a chore that I'm supposed to do. It's kinda rare though.
Furthermore, and this has only happened once before for me, when it stops feeling like socialization to begin, then I know that this is something really good.

But as a disclaimer, maybe you shouldn't take reference from me because I don't approach friendship in the same way as most people (based on my observations). I basically approach them the same as romantic relationships, except platonically. in elementary school i'd get jealous and upset when a friend acted like i wasn't their one and only friend. like some serial friendship monogamy thing. took me a while to realize how my perception of friendships was slightly skewed, lol.

there are only a few people i bother to deeply emotionally invest in, and i think the rest i hold at a distance in a classic sx-blind way.
i really search to emotionally connect deeply with everyone I'm friends with, and if the connection or possibility of connection doesn't exist, then i essentially "check out" of the friendship, since it doesn't feel like there's any point. although since i'm pretty optimistic about people, i typically try a lot before giving up.


-----

oh,also, as a response to the thread title. some activation relations can be really tiring, so i'm not sure. i'd say that friendships with complementary temperaments are best. with dual at the top, obviously. otherwise, as an IEI I get along fantastically with alpha NTs (for friendship)