Erotic attitudes

[FreelancePoliceman]

I think I’ll be the only person so far to answer the question in the OP, lol. Anyway, as a male infantile, this is how I experience my “role.”

Regarding what I like from women, it’s a bit of a cop out since it’s the stereotype, but I like to feel “cared” for; that my well-being is an object of concern. It tends to take me a little off-guard when a partner expresses this, since I don’t tend to think about this sort of thing myself. I think that’s why I tend to be so...receptive? appreciative? when someone expresses this for me — a mindset of “I can’t even be bothered to prioritize my own health, but here you are thinking of mine; you must really love me.” And I do think I’m inclined to view that sort of thing as an expression of love. Particularly I’m receptive/appreciative when someone makes food (good food, at least!) for me, or gently strokes my body, especially my chest, back, and arms. I also like to feel like my partner emotionally values me in a certain way — and this is, I think, the root of why this style is called “childlike,” since I think the way I like to be felt about is similar to the way someone feels about children, or at least the way I usually feel about them; namely that they bring happiness to you just for existing; that thinking about their potential fills you with optimism and joy; that you want to watch what they’ll grow into; that you want to keep them safe and let them know they’re loved and cared for, but also to give them some distance so they can grow. It’s hard to think of any other appropriate analogies. I also realize this sounds a bit weird to be saying about yourself, but don’t know how else to express it.

As for how I act in a relationship, I tend to become playful, probably a lot more than people who haven’t seen me in this way would guess I’d act. I suppose this is another way the name “childlike” applies. Mostly this is a tendency to make jokes a lot, verbally spar with my partner, and act a little silly. Also, if my partner is an Fe person and in a good mood for a while, I typically start to become more emotive myself (I’m usually not like this at all) and talkative.

As to how I express love, I’m not sure if this is common to all Ne types, but I’m not so good at being proactive. I tend to not to plan much in advance, especially secretly. I can never think of what to get someone for their birthday or a holiday, and I’ve had to force myself to make notes when I’ve had ideas, because I know I won’t remember and will be stumped when the time comes. What I prefer, though, is either A) for my partner to tell me what she wants me to do for her. I tend to be submissive to my partners in that way — I genuinely like making them happy; sometimes I can even feel uncomfortable if someone’s made happy by something I did, because it feels like I’m getting rewarded instead of her. B) for an idea to suddenly pop into my head and to just do it. For example “she looks a bit stressed; I’ll give her a massage.” “She’s restless; let’s go stargazing!” I tend to experience sudden bursts of affection and want to express them immediately. Maybe also similar to a child, I guess. シ

On the topic of being made happy by someone else’s happiness, I recall reading an article, I think by Stratiyevskaya, which mentioned an LII-ESE couple, where on the LII’s birthday, the LII gave the ESE gifts. I remember thinking how weird it was that I related to that.

There are obviously other things I do for my partner, and other ways I act toward them, but the above is all I can tie to this sort of infantile “role” in a relationship common to Ne-egos.

I looked at the archived thread @Adam Strange linked. Here’s the LII/ILE infantile description:

These types seem to exist outside their own sexuality. Sex is to be metabolized psychologically for them in an almost roundabout way - as an emotional entity, or possibly even an intellectual exercise. In a partner, they are looking for someone who will deal with (and protect) their quirks and understand their sexuality on the same intellectual/emotional level.

Yeah, this seems generally accurate. The way I naturally approach sex is probably a bit...”quirky,” to use the article’s phrasing, and difficult to really describe, but as it says, yeah, maybe like an emotional or intellectual exercise. I think it has to do with feeling vulnerable and nervous in these kinds of situations, and those feelings get filtered by Ne into more abstract thoughts and a tinge of...weirdness, I guess. I relate especially to the phrasing of wanting to be “dealt with” and “protected.” Images that come to mind seem a little weird to explain.