Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
The Erotic Attitudes article on this forum (https://www.the16types.info/vbulleti...otic-Attitudes) has been edited several times and is now, in my opinion, less useful that it was when I first encountered it. The older version contained some interesting information about the ongoing interactions of the various romance styles. (https://web.archive.org/web/20120615...otic-Attitudes)

For example, the earlier version said that:


Typical characteristics of the Victim romance style

  • prone to initial doubts about intensity of own interest in another person
  • not always confident about revealing that interest
  • inclined to focus on whether or not the other person might reciprocate the interest
  • inclined to question whether or not the other person's interest will remain constant with time
  • preference for partners that provoke in the individual a certain sense of awe in terms of power, physical presence, and the like
  • appreciation for the sense of power-play present when interacting with such partners, with acceptance of a slight sense of superiority on the part of the partner, without ever actually "submitting" to them
  • this takes the form of the individual somewhat expecting the partner to be "mean" on occasion
  • in the case of Victim males with female partners, this latter trait assumes a characteristic analogous to a "knight devoted to his princess"
  • inclination to openly admit to a relationship having been ended by the partner rather than by the individual himself

This romance style is defined by focus on Ni which is dynamic, irrational, and introverted, with perceptions of inner imagery away from the present physical reality. This means that a Victim sees attraction between two individuals as a dynamic state, which he feels is completely natural. This accounts for a Victim's inclination to focus on the mutual attraction, or particularly the attraction felt by the other person, as to its longer-term perspectives and implications, as well as a certain expectation that the partner will continuously take action to confirm the attraction. Failure on the partner to do so results on the individual assuming that it's already changing. The individual counts on the partner to forcefully bring the individual "down to earth from his thoughts " and focus on the immediate physical reality, continuously.



I mention this because I'm feeling guilty. I've been dating an ESI that I met on Match for a few months, but it isn't at a stage where I feel I'm fully committed to her. In my mind, we are "dating" and are therefore non-exclusive. No promises have been made, no commitments forged. I like her a lot, but I haven't heard from her for a while.

She recently told me that she was going to be busy for the next three weeks and isn't available for dates. I was OK with this for the first week, but now I'm thinking, "What else is out there?" When we were dating every couple weeks and had a firm appointment for our next meeting, I was fine. When I'm left in limbo without any input from her, I tend to wander.

When we first started dating, I stopped looking at my Match account. Well, this morning, I opened it and found that I had 71 "likes" and one of them is from an ESI who lives an hour away. Now the question is, would I be a rat if I went on a date with this other ESI? I stayed married to my ex-wife for years after she moved out, and in retrospect, that wasn't faithfulness on my part, that was stupidity.
Open the door to the ESI who lives an hour away. Leave the door open a crack to the ESI who's been busy. You did the right thing, in general, by giving her options. Now, do the right thing for yourself by interacting with an interested dual.

Sometimes if an aggressor realizes a good victim has options, it sparks us to get off our a** (so to speak).

Hope everything works out for you