Quote Originally Posted by MidnightWilderness View Post
I think I have a disorder... That would be one of my worst nightmares come true if so... Then I don't think I will ever be able to connect with someone, I will have to stay far away from everyone else and just self isolate... I feel lonely and pathetic and desperate for writing this but I need a little catharsis...
I don't think it's helpful to consider any aspect of your personality a "disorder." You feel like you feel, and you should respond to your feelings authentically. Thinking of them as disorders promotes a tendency to suppress or ignore them, which I don't think is good for you in the long term.

As far as what else you said, it seems like you're lonely and have difficulty getting your thoughts and priorities in order. It might help to block off some time for yourself to think alone for a while. And since you mentioned you have a boyfriend, I don't know what your relationship is like with him, but it may also help to try to talk to him about these thoughts.