How can an IEI be useful to SLE? + Ego death side effect of Dualizing

[ouronis]

There are a lot of shitty SLEs out there. Those are the ones that usually form one-sided dependent relationships with an IEI (the IEI is the dependent one) that is then abused (because remember these are shitty SLEs we're talking about - even the good ones like to throw a random punch from time to time). The IEI never leaves this abusive relationship and if they do, regret it for the rest of their lives. Therefore, whether you are useless or not never enters the picture because the SLE you get won't give you enough recovery time between backslaps to think about whether you're doing good or not.

[Yesein]

There are a lot of shitty SLEs out there. Those are the ones that usually form one-sided dependent relationships with an IEI (the IEI is the dependent one) that is then abused (because remember these are shitty SLEs we're talking about - even the good ones like to throw a random punch from time to time). The IEI never leaves this abusive relationship and if they do, regret it for the rest of their lives. Therefore, whether you are useless or not never enters the picture because the SLE you get won't give you enough recovery time between backslaps to think about whether you're doing good or not.

Oh jeez. Crushing of ideals. But yes, I agree. SLE riff raff exists.
I can't see an SLE being physically abusive towards a loved one. I just can't. I thought SLE's preserved their hostility for outsiders.
I have been around an unstable SLE before that had frequent anger outbursts, but they never harmed or punched a family member or significant other, just a wall, pillar, and even themselves in the form of self harm. Although that took a manipulative turn. . .

I do know an ILI that has been violent towards weaker and vulnerable people. Intuitives can be quite bad at managing their anger.

But yes, IEI's would be one type to stick around in an abusive relationship or even friendship.

[ouronis]

Oh jeez. Crushing of ideals. But yes, I agree. SLE riff raff exists.
I can't see an SLE being physically abusive towards a loved one. I just can't. I thought SLE's preserved their hostility for outsiders.
I have been around an unstable SLE before that had frequent anger outbursts, but they never harmed or punched a family member or significant other, just a wall, pillar, and even themselves in the form of self harm. Although that took a manipulative turn. . .

I do know an ILI that has been violent towards weaker and vulnerable people. Intuitives can be quite bad at managing their anger.

But yes, IEI's would be one type to stick around in an abusive relationship or even friendship.

I mean, if you had made the claim "most SLEs" are not like this, I might have been inclined to back down, but it seems that you are implying no SLEs are like this and honestly, that just doesn't mesh with demographics and probability - it would be easy to construct an argument against this at the population level. But I guess even then it seems like IEIs gravitate towards romantic, dramatic, broken things.

[Adam Strange]

There are a lot of shitty SLEs out there. Those are the ones that usually form one-sided dependent relationships with an IEI (the IEI is the dependent one) that is then abused (because remember these are shitty SLEs we're talking about - even the good ones like to throw a random punch from time to time). The IEI never leaves this abusive relationship and if they do, regret it for the rest of their lives. Therefore, whether you are useless or not never enters the picture because the SLE you get won't give you enough recovery time between backslaps to think about whether you're doing good or not.

@ouronis, I once watched an LII singer in a band (he's pretty good) grasp the lapel formed by the open Hawaiian shirt of the SLE guitarist and say, ambiguously but with some disparagement behind it, "I see that you're rocking some (I can't remember his exact words, but they meant "latest style" clothes). The SLE missed the insult, and just said, fast "Yeah, are you gonna show up for practice tonight at 6?"

I took this to be a clash of Si and Se. I thought the LII secretly hated the SLE for his clumsy intrusions into the LII's space, but I later heard that they go out drinking together, so I might have been wrong.

As for painting "everyone" with the same brush, I'd say that any type can be an asshole. My LSE sister hates an EII male who is in love with her and who abuses his SLI wife. Who would have suspected that from an EII?

But I was wondering if your views towards SLE's are colored by this difference in functions? Because while I do know more SLE's who are in trouble with the law, most of them are law-abiding citizens. Some are even very protective of their loved ones.
Do you see a different subset?

As for painting "Everyone" with the same brush, I'd say that any type can be an asshole. My LSE sister hates an EII male who is in love with her and who also verbally abuses his SLI wife. Who would have expected that from an EII?

[ouronis]

@ouronis, I once watched an LII singer in a band (he's pretty good) grasp the lapel formed by the open Hawaiian shirt of the SLE guitarist and say, ambiguously but with some disparagement behind it, "I see that you're rocking some (I can't remember his exact words, but they meant "latest style" clothes). The SLE missed the insult, and just said, fast "Yeah, are you gonna show up for practice tonight at 6?"

I took this to be a clash of Si and Se. I thought the LII secretly hated the SLE for his clumsy intrusions into the LII's space, but I later heard that they go out drinking together, so I might have been wrong.

As for painting "everyone" with the same brush, I'd say that any type can be an asshole. My LSE sister hates an EII male who is in love with her and who abuses his SLI wife. Who would have suspected that from an EII?

But I was wondering if your views towards SLE's are colored by this difference in functions? Because while I do know more SLE's who are in trouble with the law, most of them are law-abiding citizens. Some are even very protective of their loved ones.
Do you see a different subset?

As for painting "Everyone" with the same brush, I'd say that any type can be an asshole. My LSE sister hates an EII male who is in love with her and who also verbally abuses his SLI wife. Who would have expected that from an EII?

I am describing a dynamic that seems likely to arise given the common failings of both types, not a prophecy. The joke I was trying to imply is that if there are 13 SLEs for every 1 IEI, that IEI gets the worst of the lot and the other 12 SLEs have normal healthy relationships with other types due to the caricaturized IEI's values and weaknesses (so don't waste your time worrying whether you're good enough).

[Adam Strange]

I am describing a dynamic that seems likely to arise given the common failings of both types, not a prophecy. The joke I was trying to imply is that if there are 13 SLEs for every 1 IEI, that IEI gets the worst of the lot and the other 12 SLEs have normal healthy relationships with other types due to the caricaturized IEI's values and weaknesses (so don't waste your time worrying whether you're good enough).

So you were joking? Sorry, I can't tell in text sometimes. I'd think that the actual outcome of 13 SLE's to 1 IEI would be that the IEI would get the best SLE (after dumping her previous ILE's) and the rest of the SLE's would keep having unhappy relationships with types which can't properly handle their high Se and low Ni and Fe.

So many SLE's just look to me like life has hit them in the head with a baseball bat, and they have no idea why they got that treatment.

IEI’s, on the other hand, seem to be on a merry-go-round of fantastic creatures and they reach for the ring when it comes around but can’t grasp it.

[ouronis]

So you were joking? Sorry, I can't tell in text sometimes. I'd think that the actual outcome of 13 SLE's to 1 IEI would be that the IEI would get the best SLE (after dumping her previous ILE's) and the rest of the SLE's would keep having unhappy relationships with types which can't properly handle their high Se and low Ni and Fe.

So many SLE's just look to me like life has hit them in the head with a baseball bat, and they have no idea why they got that treatment.

That's just the typical duality is perfect theoretical outcome. You of all people should know that's not true

[Adam Strange]

That's just the typical duality is perfect theoretical outcome. You of all people should know that's not true

Honestly, I’m still trying to figure this out.

[ouronis]

Honestly, I’m still trying to figure this out.

Don't get stuck on proposed theoretical answers if they contradict real world dynamics. For example: according to socionics, an LII should not be telling an LIE to be more empirical.