Hi everyone, an ENTJ here.
Can't believe I finally joined this forum, I've been a silent reader for ages.
I've known Myer Briggs and Socionics for many years. But the idea of duality made me think it's ridiculous to be attracted to your complete opposite.
Especially when you're in your late teens or early 20s, you know that your dual is the last person on earth you want to be with. He's just NOT your type.
And a few years ago, I promised myself if one day I ever realised that I can actually appreciate even a little thing in my dual, I'll join this forum and make an account.
So here I am.
I just want to say, it takes time to actually realise that you appreciate your dual. Because it takes time to grow, to know yourself, recognise your strength and weakness, and THEN you will realise that your dual actually has the things you need. I think that's the reason dual couple is quite rare when we're in our 20s.
We're still young and are more attracted to the things we want, not the things we need because we haven't realised what we actually need.
Anyway, I'm not saying that duality is perfect for everyone.
I think with some life experience and maturity, we then realise what we actually need, and now it's a matter of choice.
Everyone is different.
Even for me.
As a female ENTJ, you have no idea how impossible it is to be attracted to a male ISFP (ok since I'm in a socionic forum it should be ISFj, or ESI).
All strong women wants strong qualities in men. The confidence. Driven person. You know what I mean. The opposite of a majority of male ESI. We need a highly mature male ESI.
It's more likely for a male LIE to find female ESI I think.
I'm a 30 yo single professional, been busy with work and now in business school doing my master's.
Growing up, I've always been interested in interpersonal skills, I like organisations, managing people and events. I'm usually the coordinator, I've been a class president since I was in primary school.
I like interacting with all those different people, I can learn how different we are, and take advantage of those differences to reach different goals. With high Ni, I always know what I'm doing, what's best for each person and the team.
My enneagram is 8w9. Tritype 835. Sp/Sx. ENTJ (LIE) -Ni.
For romantic relationship, in the past I've dated SLE, ILE, LII, ILI, SLI, LSI.
I remember one thing.
When I was 22, there's an ESI colleague who's in his early 30s and he was SO into me. At the time we just met. I had no interest at all and quickly realised how different we were, and I was questioning what made him attracted to me. Apart from good looks.
And now I realised, he's in his 30s, he's mature enough to see his strength and weakness and appreciate that in me. He must've realised that I have what he doesn't have. I didn't really see that, I was 22 afterall.
To conclude, duality is not a relationship based on attraction, if you want attraction then go find your semidual, or mirage. Even benefit or extinguishment.
It takes time and maturity to finally establish duality, but when you do, you will realise it is the easiest intertype relationship, it's a relationship based on comfort.
But again, duality is not for everyone, you have your type of man (or woman), you know what you want, but with time and maturity you realise what you actually need, now it's a matter of choice. Everyone is different.
There you go. That is what I've learned looking back at the past decade, and I'm still learning, I think we all are.