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My mom is ILI-Te and I spent most of my time as a child with my ESE-Fe grandma, but my EII-Fi grandpa was there too and my childhood was pretty great. When my grandpa passed, I mourned the loss of that sense of being understood and the ability to just be myself and be accepted. My mom and grandma are very loving, but it’s just the difference in Quadra values, which affected them just as much if not more being conflictors. There is a desire to gravitate toward an atmosphere where all your valued elements and strengths are also valued.
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