O.o am I SOCIAL first...?

[SGF]

I've been thinking, I used to have social anxiety.. which means I am preoccupied with how other people, groups of ppl and so on perceive me, acceptance and rejection on both their and my side. I mainly occupy my time with things related to the social realm on a bigger scale, such as philosophy, political systems of thought, psychology and I'm highly observant / very good at reading other people's body language and intentions.. which in my case is a kind of subconscious compulsion, so I have decades of practice.

My fave poetry is from this hungarian 1848 EIE highly political and passionate poet who died in the war. A hill to die on, to sacrifice for a good cause is pretty much the only thing that gives me energy and drive. Without it I always feel lethargic and "stuck in a bog".

So I think I'm SO/SX e6 looking for an external system to latch onto and sacrifice for.. ppl on the other hand tend to constantly disappoint and my attitude towards them seems to be on-off depending on whether they are on my side of the fence or not. Its kind of like I want a faction to join, but groups of ppl seem to constantly disappoint and I want the faction to mainly be small and tightly knit, more intimate.

having 1D Fe and 2D Fi combined with introversion however means that I'm fairly bad at being social, despite my perceived ambiversion in this area. I can run out of energy fast IF the emotional environment isn't being managed by someone with good Fe or I'm not among ppl I like and trust.

hmm.. this explains why I like Rome so much.. he writes some of the best SO/SX songs.



probably why I like Muse as well.. e_e Muse is super So/Sx a lot of the time..