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Thread: Working with a conflictor

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    I'm a tourist in the land of my own being Megatrop's Avatar
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    Default Working with a conflictor

    Has anyone ever experienced working with a conflictor at work?
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    Seed my wickedness Existential Ibuprofen's Avatar
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    Not much but I have an experienced of being supervised by supervisor.

    So the conflict stuff is a lot like they try to push their views on me and I question those and make new statements in terms of validity. It is a lot like concurrently shooting each other down. Can you figure how it ends...? Obviously in public where the stubbornness towards each other comes clear as a day. Srati called it public execution and after that avoidance sets in.
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    Adam Strange's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Megatrop View Post
    Has anyone ever experienced working with a conflictor at work?
    Yes, several. Why do you ask?

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    I had an EIE boss once. He never shut the fuck up. Always had some shit to say. It all amounted to, "Bad Aramas. Bad."

    He must have enjoyed OSHA violations, because he committed a number of them.

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    I'm a tourist in the land of my own being Megatrop's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    Yes, several. Why do you ask?
    I'm going to work with a bunch of ST people, and I think it's possible one of them might be a conflictor. So I wanted to get some experience from other people
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    I'm a tourist in the land of my own being Megatrop's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aramas View Post
    I had an EIE boss once. He never shut the fuck up. Always had some shit to say. It all amounted to, "Bad Aramas. Bad."

    He must have enjoyed OSHA violations, because he committed a number of them.
    I can see that

    btw, how did you conclude EIE was a conflictor (because you need to be a SLI, right?), is it a recent typing or did it happen a long time ago?
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    I'm a tourist in the land of my own being Megatrop's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Comatose Lamiac 007 View Post
    Not much but I have an experienced of being supervised by supervisor.

    So the conflict stuff is a lot like they try to push their views on me and I question those and make new statements in terms of validity. It is a lot like concurrently shooting each other down. Can you figure how it ends...? Obviously in public where the stubbornness towards each other comes clear as a day. Srati called it public execution and after that avoidance sets in.
    I'm pretty sure my dad is either a conflictor or a supervisor, and the only way we can get along is by being very distant psychologically. But I have never worked full time with him, but I know what supervision feels like
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    Quote Originally Posted by Megatrop View Post
    I can see that

    btw, how did you conclude EIE was a conflictor (because you need to be a SLI, right?), is it a recent typing or did it happen a long time ago?
    Years ago.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Megatrop View Post
    I'm going to work with a bunch of ST people, and I think it's possible one of them might be a conflictor. So I wanted to get some experience from other people
    I really like some Conflictors, and don't get along perfectly with others. However, I get along with the Conflictors because I know that they are Conflictors and I don't try to be their best friend.

    In fact, even with the SEI whom I like and respect, I treat her as if she's a very nice, very radioactive person. I can stand next to her for a short time, or can stand far away from her for a longer time, but the more I'm exposed to her at a close distance, the sooner each of us will receive that fatal dose of radiation which will kill the relationship. Because I'm radioactive to her, too. I tell her how much I appreciate her, and I don't stick around for small talk. It works. Or has, so far.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Megatrop View Post
    I'm going to work with a bunch of ST people, and I think it's possible one of them might be a conflictor. So I wanted to get some experience from other people
    The surprising thing you might encounter, is that it is completely possible that your encounters with LSI will start off good, only to deteriorate as the work relationships progresses. The problem in both directions is that both of you will not understand the others' behavior, and as such wull become frustrated by each other. Now I'm talking about interactions between psychological healthy persons here. If you bump into someone who is not only your conflictor, but also an outright asshole, brace yourself!

    Some examples:

    while working in the restaurant of a hotel, I got along with the chef (EIE) and sous chef (LSI) pretty well. This changed when I started do tasks such as ordering supplies for breakfast. The sous chef got annoyed, as if he thought I was doing something I shouldn't be doing. With Te for my mobilizing, I tend to be a bit perfectionistic in my handling of things, taking different routes to get at the same result (in fact, better results,because my mise-en-place was always immaculate), but this of course collides with his Ti-perspective of how things should be done, as IEEs often have out-of-the-box procedures for handling things.

    A little while ago I was working on an army base, where at first I had quite good rapport with one of the regulars, who was LSI. But before long he started undermining my activities: had I prepared a bucket with water and detergent and turned around to get a cleaning brush, he took my bucket and used it himself, those kind of things. Normally that would make me angry, but I knowing about Socionics said to myself: okay, if you want to play it that way, and waste my time, and the taxpayer's money, I am just going to get another bucket. I am only here for one day. The motivation for his behavior is that I, who was there for the first time (and last time just as well), did not behave in such a way as to respect his higher rank in the hierarchical picking order (IEEs having a tendency to treat other people with an egalitarian attitude), which probably was also influenced by him being military personnel, while I am civilian.

    My advice to you: when an LSI gets on your nerves, take a second to reflect on your natural inclinations and responses, then do the exact opposite thing. If you respond impulsively, such as expressing anger or retreating, conflict will results, whereas when you do the exact opposite, and act as if you don't care, or better, as if you haven't noticed. Give them the impression that you will always do as you please and are not going to toe the line. That will piss them off even more, increasing chances that they will make the first transgressional mistake. Exploit your knowledge of socionics to the fullest!
    “I have never tried that before, so I think I should definitely be able to do that.” --- Pippi Longstocking

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    In fact, even with the SEI whom I like and respect, I treat her as if she's a very nice, very radioactive person.
    So she even decays and therefore has a "half life".
    Let's see
    Highly charged and heavy, alpha particles lose their several MeV of energy within a small volume of material, along with a very short mean free path. This increases the chance of double-strand breaks to the DNA in cases of internal contamination, when ingested, inhaled, injected or introduced through the skin. Otherwise, touching an alpha source is typically not harmful, as alpha particles are effectively shielded by a few centimeters of air, a piece of paper, or the thin layer of dead skin cells that make up the epidermis; however, many alpha sources are also accompanied by beta-emitting radio daughters, and both are often accompanied by gamma photon emission.
    We do not want to see when Adam enters into an emission stage.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Comatose Lamiac 007 View Post
    So she even decays and therefore has a "half life".
    Let's see

    We do not want to see when Adam enters into an emission stage.
    These are exactly the kinds of jokes that I make which cause the SEI-ILE pair whom I work with to say “Euew. That’s seriously awful.”
    @Comatose Lamiac 007, did you get out of the wrong side of the bed this morning?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    These are exactly the kinds of jokes that I make which cause the SEI-ILE pair whom I work with to say “Euew. That’s seriously awful.”
    @Comatose Lamiac 007, did you get out of the wrong side of the bed this morning?
    You just need to know a person you are talking to. Call me multifaced in this respect.
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    Two conflict pairs in my organization stand out: LSE-IEI and LSI-IEE. The former pair hardly spoke to one another but both were unsuited to their jobs. The latter were cordial although the LSI was far more capable and productive while the IEE pushed unsuccessfully to get recognized as being the best so there might have been resentful undercurrents; personal recognition seemed more important to the IEE than the job itself. Conflict partners usually take very divergent career paths; it can often require some unfortunate chain of events to see them together and that may create additional strain on any potential relationship.

    a.k.a. I/O

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