umm i think general consensus would be that semidual is a nicer ITR right?
personally what do you tend to prefer, or does it ~depend~ ?
umm i think general consensus would be that semidual is a nicer ITR right?
personally what do you tend to prefer, or does it ~depend~ ?
Mirage is nicer for me in friendships because of how much I seek Ti in solving problems or issues. Neither type is really ideal in a longterm romantic context, but I'm not sure which would actually be better for me.
Mirage and Semi-Duality are two of those relationships which can alternate throughout the socion between being with a person who is or is not on your sexual axis (Aggressor/Victim axis or Caregiver/Infantile axis), so your impression of your Mirage or Semi-Dual partner can vary, depending on whether you are or are not sexually attracted to them.
I find that my female Mirage partners are very sexually attractive and my female Semi-duals are less so, but I can form fantastic business relationships with my Semi-Duals.
However, I don't think that the people who dreamed up Socionics would say that that is the main difference.
Yes, it's hard to imagine being romantically attracted to ILEs, simply because they don't value Se and don't really "see" my Ni. Great for problem solving (or venting), though.
I feel extremely energized by SEEs but frustrated in conversation/self-expression. I feel like they can't really help me but they're still attractive.
Semiduals are good for solving problems you can't easily solve on your own. the goals and attitudes set by the base function are generally appreciated by your semi-dual and likewise you appreciate their general outlook on life.
While,
Mirage is good for teaching you to appreciate life, to "stop and smell the roses", to consider things differently on your creative/hidden agenda functions.
Usually rational finds semidual more compatible and irrational mirage.
MOTTO: NEVER TRUST IN REALITY
Winning is for losers
Sincerely yours,
idiosyncratic type
Life is a joke but do you have a life?
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It is easier to co-exist with your semi dual, but your mirage is so much more exciting!
I don't intend to be corny here: I had various levels of good sex with different types, but for some reason I cannot recall the physical experience (I attribute this to weak Si). I only KNOW that it was good sex, but I can not 're-feel' by imagining it. Except for that one ILI, I can recall exactly how that felt. She more or less had me by the balls, quite literally.
Your lead and suggestive functions are what enables you to live in this world, to 'survive'. Your creative and mobilizing functions enable you to 'put yourself out there in the world and realize yourself', to rise above yourself, to put it existentially.
However, in mirage, there is also stress (because it engages your Role and Ignoring functions), which on the one hand can be attractive if you're addicted to stress. On a superficial level that might be more interesting than duality, if it were not for the soothing aspects of duality.
Last edited by consentingadult; 11-10-2020 at 10:31 AM.
“I have never tried that before, so I think I should definitely be able to do that.” --- Pippi Longstocking
From a cognitive perspective, both have equal likelihood of establishing good, long-lasting relationships. Regardless, success will likely depend on whether or not each can put up with the other's baggage, which should be self evident within a year of living together provided that both actually take the time to look. However, I've known a few IEIs (and Eps) who deliberately chose to ignore obvious warning signs because they were pursuing some sort of romantic ideal (or hedonism).
a.k.a. I/O
Mirage can get boring lol but very easy to get along with, too easy almost. And Semidual can be scary but look at my semi dual it's a freakin LIE lol. I have an ESE friend and bless his heart I love him to death but he talks to me about the saaaame things over and over again, which can bore me but is easy to deal with. I live with an ESE and she tries to get a reaction out of me and when I don't respond I'm sure she thinks I'm boring. There is tension between me and Semiduals sometimes, almost like we are not supposed to be friends, like it's some kind of unnatural phenomenon going on that we are even talking to each other, I've gotten along with them though.
I think the main theme is the unrealistic high expectations with duals and semi-duals. If they don't have a realistic appraisal of their own suggestive, their base can be very smothering and draining for their semi-/dual because they refuse to really listen to them. It's why I haven't liked some base/demonstrative Ni types in the past and still don’t; they kept not getting that us having Ni in common doesn't make theirs equivalent to mine. Mine is relevant in a particular context, and they kept misunderstanding it because they kept trying to understand it without context and that context is my Se base, for which a lot of them over-estimate themselves on (because they are delusional).
And the problem with victim types is already that they communicate with difficulty and misinterpretations will ruin the channel for communication. The projection was the worst, because they projected their Ni on me rather than really communicating with me and then priding themselves on “reaching” me, it was suffocating. I’ve come to the conclusion that you can base your semi-/dual and you’ll have to suggestive yourself as well. And it takes the realization that you will never care about your suggestive outside of the context of your base. I think in completely normal dynamics, you get lowkey mutual contempt toward the semi-/dual for using the suggestive “wrong” so people who tell me that the semi-/dual is supposed to “get” you, my response is a firm NO. In many ways, my semi-dual is like my dual, and I tend to get ticked off at their terrible Se just as much.
This sort of thing is way less problematic in quasiduality/mirage because expectations are lower. You know something’s missing and there isn’t perfection, but that’s ok.
I recently tried to establish a romantic relation with LSE and EIE. Neither worked. LSE is pretty usefull and great for friendship, but him underestimating my Ti was driving me crazy. And I didn't value his Te explanations enough. I guess it's a metter of personal life expirience, I am used to SLE and discussions over Ti, so I felt like it's almost what I want but not there and it was getting me irritated. While he is used to people taking what he says for granted and was annoyed by me arguing. Another thing is too much Si - LSE takes it too seriously, like it was his job to take care of me, ESE would do it as a kind of joke or gesture, not undermining my ability to care of my self.
With EIE I have a great time, it's pure fun. But I can get his full atention only when showing at least a shadow of Se and only then I get some Si. Kind of a lack of Si I get as a lack of attention even though I get loads of Fe, then I get confused and mistrustful. Classical problem of semi-dual not turning into dual.
Summarisng, mirage is more stable, semi-dualship more exiting and more likely for a romantic relationship - I don't know if it's only me, but I get attracted by Fe not Si (Si is assuring me about other persons feelings). Seems to me it depends on a type, person and what you expect, can't say that mirage or semi-dualship is better.
-semi-duality is more difficult to establish, and also comfort level not very good (there's some tension involved), but conversations are more interesting and engaging. there are more topics for conversation
-mirage is very easy to start and maintain, and comfort level is better than duality itself, but it can get boring if interaction goes on for too long, or if you see each other regularly (as most relationships)
Depends on what you're looking for
my experience with mirage is that conflicts are very rare (there aren't really any real conflicts to be honest, only some minor misunderstandings and light arguing when you get misinterpreted for some reason), but the conversations are somewhat not as interesting as you expect, even though it is still possible to keep it going.
From time to time warm feelings can arise for each other, especially when one of them is not feeling very well emotionally. Or when you are both tired it can help you enjoy each other's presence
Overall pretty good, but I would never consider for marriage. Very good for a friendship, date or a long term relationship, but not for marriage (my honest opinion).
my parents are semi-duals. when they are fine, they talk for hours on the bed. when there's conflict, it's like an internal war. you can see plate bullets flying around the living room. most of conflicts arise due to ideological differences or when they try to do some work together. Also one always complains that the other isn't listening, etc. my outside perspective experience is that it is very harmful emotionally. I wouldn't consider for marriage either, unless you have really high emotional intelligence.
Flirt with ideas
Date opportunities
Marry problem-solving
MOTTO: NEVER TRUST IN REALITY
Winning is for losers
Sincerely yours,
idiosyncratic type
Life is a joke but do you have a life?
Joinif you dare https://matrix.to/#/#The16Types:matrix.org
ime, Semidual is more fulfilling but also meaner, not nicer. Me and my semi-dual call each other out on our shit more... mirage seems to be friendlier but not quite as rewarding either. Semi-duals can be incredibly affectionate though. People really like it for this reason.
I think of these relationships as:
High attraction/compatibility but with lots of arguments/discussion
or
Curious attraction, good for learning from each other but more irritating
(maybe related to subtype)
And maybe there are some examples somewhere in between?
Does anyone think that certain types are more compatible at certain stages in life?
I see mirage and semi-dual as good relationships for young people (uni-young 20s). They seem like relationships that give you a feeling of freedom or a special connection..but also teach you different ways of thinking and practical life skills
Last edited by Bethanyclaire; 11-20-2020 at 03:48 PM.
I was just thinking about how each type kind of resembles their conflictor in some way..which made me think about the appeal of mirage and semi dual. I think they seem a bit like our benefactor/beneficiary..
Last edited by Bethanyclaire; 11-22-2020 at 04:48 PM.
With benefactor/beneficiary relation, it’s based on the benefactor’s discretion as they’re the ones who approach and initiate. It’s a different purpose for each pairing, and benefits aren’t going to be equal. For me with LIE, it’s basically teacher to student, giving me professional and constructive life advice. They give me information and I could take it or leave it, either way, it’s an easy relation. However, the relation also ends at the benefactor’s discretion, as they’re the ones who decides the duration. A thing I’ve noticed is the benefactor recognizes they’re superior (hence being the benefactor) so they “look down” upon the beneficiary. I don’t mean it on a condescending manner, but there is the feeling that benefactor has the upper hand/more power, so how that translates between the various types will be different. How that plays out for me is I actually do learn a lot from LIE’s mentorship, but they cannot fault me on my lead function nor can they feel threatened by it. With Se, there’s some touchiness as to the power dynamics and approach could be tricky. Case in point, I don’t accept every LIE coming at me being fascinated with my Se and trying to give me advice on how I can sharpen Te (in order to better execute Se). I already sense their Se is weak and if they’re not careful, they could come off as if they’re giving me advice on Se which to me, is wrong and they’ve no business in such matters to lecture me on. I would imagine that the other functions, especially irrational functions would be easier to deal with.
In general, for romantic relationship, whichever has the same judging functions.
THIS.
Especially if you have the same judging functions.
My semidual is EII, we both have dominant Te/Fi, let me tell you it is incredibly affectionate!
But then we realise we think, feel, and see things the same way, but the way we approach things is different.
That's why semidual is actually SO hard, but at the same time very rewarding.
Mirage is a bit friendlier, seems like we notice the differences at the beginning (Te-dom/Fi-inf and Ti-dom/Fe-inf), and the way we approach things is not that different, so not that many conflicts.
Agree with this: