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Thread: Appreciation and praise: Indentity vs Duality

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    Default Appreciation and praise: Indentity vs Duality

    How do you feel about being complimented by more complementary types?

    I feel mostly indifferent. Being complimented by an identical (or mirror) is much better.
    I like to teach others, even though I consider myself to be the most ignorant person alive.
    So if I impose my opinions on you, don't take them as arrogance. It's just that I have a strong willingness to share knowledge.

    The more we focus on something, the clearer it gets, but all the rest of the universe gets blurrier. This applies to our thoughts, emotions, feelings, senses, etc. A great part of living can be summarized as the development of the ability to switch our attention to different aspects of our reality in order to achieve that which we want to see as a completely new kind of reality.

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    > Being complimented by an identical (or mirror) is much better.

    if to identify types correctly, there will be lesser of nonsense
    Types examples: video bloggers, actors

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sol View Post
    > Being complimented by an identical (or mirror) is much better.

    if to identify types correctly, there will be lesser of nonsense
    I have plenty of identical friends, and it's very easy to get to know them.
    I like to teach others, even though I consider myself to be the most ignorant person alive.
    So if I impose my opinions on you, don't take them as arrogance. It's just that I have a strong willingness to share knowledge.

    The more we focus on something, the clearer it gets, but all the rest of the universe gets blurrier. This applies to our thoughts, emotions, feelings, senses, etc. A great part of living can be summarized as the development of the ability to switch our attention to different aspects of our reality in order to achieve that which we want to see as a completely new kind of reality.

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    I prefer duals or people outside of quadra complimenting me. That means I'm doing good at what I am weak at -> improvement.

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    For me, it's when people who are good at what I'm not good at complement me on the thing I'm not good at. And insults also sting more

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    well identicals are better for learning. So if they say you're getting good at something they're good at, it's generally a good sign. Criticism from identicals also doesn't really feel like criticism. More like a statement of fact.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    I think activity is a nice complement.

    EDIT: My bad misunderstood OP. Any kind of compliment on any Super ID IE usually shocks me and I remember for a very long time. Any compliment on my creative feels nice and earned. Obviously compliments from opposite quadra are the most shocking (in a good way) but feel not exactly believable, like they are complimenting what they see not the real me, and compliments from my own quadra definitely hit home, sometimes their reactions are even compliments. You can tell when some laughs at a joke and really really gets it.

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    I happen to not have liked my duals (there is an exception to this, and I hope, more exceptions in the future) but I have only interacted with them online. I don't like:

    the negativism, low on openness, assuming the worst in their weak areas (NF) and acting on it. Being low on openness is personally a big one for me. And some 1D Fi types can be seriously callous (some of them legit scare me). That last one - of course, is a complete deal breaker, no questions asked.

    But I really don't have extensive experience with my duals. The somewhat ironic thing is that it was Activity relations that made me excited about Socionics because I trusted this person like I never have anyone in my 25 years on this earth. Yes, not even my own parents. He was only a friend but he "got" me and did not misunderstand me. And he could be himself, a logical type, straightforward and so-called "blunt" but all I saw was an extremely kind individual who I inherently trusted. Someone else could have told me the same things he did, but if different IEs were involved, I would have felt upset, triggered, as I normally did because I do have my vulnerabilities. Not the case with him at all.

    Unfortunately, of course, it's Activity so inevitably the relation wears out and comes to an end.

    As for duality, if it's not happening naturally, I will never force it. Because it's unlikely to happen that way.

    Identicals are alright, they are not bad. I have never been romantically attracted to one, but I can get excited at times about a feeling of (platonic) kinship with certain identicals. We speak the same language. And that's soothing when you otherwise have to try pretty hard to be heard and understood by several other types.

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    Quote Originally Posted by voider View Post
    I prefer duals or people outside of quadra complimenting me. That means I'm doing good at what I am weak at -> improvement.
    IME they tend to compliment us on aspects we know we are good at, which makes us indifferent
    Last edited by Megatrop; 10-02-2020 at 01:43 PM.
    I like to teach others, even though I consider myself to be the most ignorant person alive.
    So if I impose my opinions on you, don't take them as arrogance. It's just that I have a strong willingness to share knowledge.

    The more we focus on something, the clearer it gets, but all the rest of the universe gets blurrier. This applies to our thoughts, emotions, feelings, senses, etc. A great part of living can be summarized as the development of the ability to switch our attention to different aspects of our reality in order to achieve that which we want to see as a completely new kind of reality.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Pixel View Post
    I think activity is a nice complement.

    EDIT: My bad misunderstood OP. Any kind of compliment on any Super ID IE usually shocks me and I remember for a very long time. Any compliment on my creative feels nice and earned. Obviously compliments from opposite quadra are the most shocking (in a good way) but feel not exactly believable, like they are complimenting what they see not the real me, and compliments from my own quadra definitely hit home, sometimes their reactions are even compliments. You can tell when some laughs at a joke and really really gets it.
    I don't care about "identicals" finding my jokes funny, but I appreciate when duals (maybe) and other complementary laugh, especially when I'm not trying
    I like to teach others, even though I consider myself to be the most ignorant person alive.
    So if I impose my opinions on you, don't take them as arrogance. It's just that I have a strong willingness to share knowledge.

    The more we focus on something, the clearer it gets, but all the rest of the universe gets blurrier. This applies to our thoughts, emotions, feelings, senses, etc. A great part of living can be summarized as the development of the ability to switch our attention to different aspects of our reality in order to achieve that which we want to see as a completely new kind of reality.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Psych View Post
    I happen to not have liked my duals (there is an exception to this, and I hope, more exceptions in the future) but I have only interacted with them online. I don't like:

    the negativism, low on openness, assuming the worst in their weak areas (NF) and acting on it. Being low on openness is personally a big one for me. And some 1D Fi types can be seriously callous (some of them legit scare me). That last one - of course, is a complete deal breaker, no questions asked.

    But I really don't have extensive experience with my duals. The somewhat ironic thing is that it was Activity relations that made me excited about Socionics because I trusted this person like I never have anyone in my 25 years on this earth. Yes, not even my own parents. He was only a friend but he "got" me and did not misunderstand me. And he could be himself, a logical type, straightforward and so-called "blunt" but all I saw was an extremely kind individual who I inherently trusted. Someone else could have told me the same things he did, but if different IEs were involved, I would have felt upset, triggered, as I normally did because I do have my vulnerabilities. Not the case with him at all.

    Unfortunately, of course, it's Activity so inevitably the relation wears out and comes to an end.

    As for duality, if it's not happening naturally, I will never force it. Because it's unlikely to happen that way.

    Identicals are alright, they are not bad. I have never been romantically attracted to one, but I can get excited at times about a feeling of (platonic) kinship with certain identicals. We speak the same language. And that's soothing when you otherwise have to try pretty hard to be heard and understood by several other types.
    I get what you're saying. Most of my friends are identicals. What's your type?
    I like to teach others, even though I consider myself to be the most ignorant person alive.
    So if I impose my opinions on you, don't take them as arrogance. It's just that I have a strong willingness to share knowledge.

    The more we focus on something, the clearer it gets, but all the rest of the universe gets blurrier. This applies to our thoughts, emotions, feelings, senses, etc. A great part of living can be summarized as the development of the ability to switch our attention to different aspects of our reality in order to achieve that which we want to see as a completely new kind of reality.

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    Compliments from an Identical type? I wouldn't care, I know what I'm good at I don't need affirmation from an identical unless it was someone I looked up to. My dual will give me compliments frequently I like compliments in general but I don't get carried away.

    Now, compliments from my conflictor? I know I'm doing something right when that happens.

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    A dual complimenting you can come off sarcastic I think based on how the functions are placed. An identical complimenting you (especially if they are older like in a 'teacher' role) usually feels better and like you are improving more in the 'external worldly world' in the business sense, because often I think it's kind of like covering up your polr in an indirect way. (and they can't really do that anyway of course but that's not the point)

    Compliments also are ego-hits- just good ones, and so it would make sense that a dual probably should avoid them.

    A dual's job isn't to give you compliments I don't think- it's to just fuck you in the ass romantically. Or something like that. A compliment would just get in the way of that? A dual would more than likely insult you- and then see/test how you don't measure up to the insults. So a reverse kind of compliment if you will.

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    Quote Originally Posted by BandD View Post
    A dual's job isn't to give you compliments I don't think- it's to just fuck you in the ass ... .
    This probably varies from one dyad to another. Not saying you're wrong, though.


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    I think being complimented by LIEs and ILIs are the best for me. It could be for several different reasons though. Usually smart + high Ni + if they can generate enough Fe to give a compliment that’s probably rare.

    Compliments from dual and occasionally activity (good to know I seem appealing to them) and supervisor are also flattering.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sol View Post
    > Being complimented by an identical (or mirror) is much better.

    if to identify types correctly, there will be lesser of nonsense
    Yeah, I agree.
    I don't understand how people can assume that they are meeting their dual or mirror, when they are possibly mistyped themselves and possibly mistyping the other person as well. It just makes no sense.. idk why ppl here do this to be honest.

    It is as if one is blind and fumbling in the dark pretending one can see.

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    Words of Affirmation is low on my priority list...

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    Quote Originally Posted by shotgunfingers View Post
    I don't understand how people can assume that they are meeting their dual or mirror, when they are possibly mistyped themselves
    If people identify types in a way that get good fiting to main theory - they may trust to their typing skills. Though, not absolutely due to methods speculativity what leads to some % of changed assured opinions. If people get often contradictions, - the chance the problem is mistyping but not the theory. At least, without good typing experince and much watching typed people to doubt in the theory which is thought as correct by other ones is not reasonably. When novices do so - it's funny.

    Mainly, it's Ti types who tend to create new/change theories to explain what they see. Te types to protect the opinion prefer "other influencing factors" explanations or to doubt in the said as facts.
    Types examples: video bloggers, actors

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    I mostly feel better when complimented in an enthusiastic way, which is often the style of Fe-doms. With other types, a reserved response can leave me wondering if I did the right thing or if I must try harder. Being with LIIs can be comfortable and intellectually stimulating, but the lack of emotional energy leaves me wanting sometimes. Besides, compliments from thinkers are either hard-earned or have a but at the end of it. Imo, I just want my word taken at face value, same as I would do for someone more experienced with handling social and household matters. Total trust in each other's abilities is the best compliment you can give.

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    I'll take any compliment I can get from anybody. Not a hang up area for me.

    Appreciation is different. Some words of appreciation are most certainly shallow, and easily spoken, and hallow. ... However, the gesture behind saying it, is appreciated. Show me your appreciation in return someday.

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    Quote Originally Posted by BandD View Post
    A dual complimenting you can come off sarcastic I think based on how the functions are placed. An identical complimenting you (especially if they are older like in a 'teacher' role) usually feels better and like you are improving more in the 'external worldly world' in the business sense, because often I think it's kind of like covering up your polr in an indirect way. (and they can't really do that anyway of course but that's not the point)

    Compliments also are ego-hits- just good ones, and so it would make sense that a dual probably should avoid them.

    A dual's job isn't to give you compliments I don't think- it's to just fuck you in the ass romantically. Or something like that. A compliment would just get in the way of that? A dual would more than likely insult you- and then see/test how you don't measure up to the insults. So a reverse kind of compliment if you will.
    yeah, being complimented by a dual comes off as sarcastic or is simply ignored. That might be one reason why we tend to overlook duals in general, because we take them for granted or dont take them seriously until we get to know them closely
    I like to teach others, even though I consider myself to be the most ignorant person alive.
    So if I impose my opinions on you, don't take them as arrogance. It's just that I have a strong willingness to share knowledge.

    The more we focus on something, the clearer it gets, but all the rest of the universe gets blurrier. This applies to our thoughts, emotions, feelings, senses, etc. A great part of living can be summarized as the development of the ability to switch our attention to different aspects of our reality in order to achieve that which we want to see as a completely new kind of reality.

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