This is the thing:
I have a ENTj friend who's just graduated from college (Law) and is into tech, videogames and mmorpg. He has difficulty finding love since I know him (I didn't give attention to it until I entered college, because I had lost hope and interest very early in life).
He used to be very energetic and optimistic and he liked to take the lead. He got some rewards from intellectual competitions and he was very good at math even though he didn't care about getting good grades.. he would instead have fun playing mmorpg and reading technical stuff.
Some of you know me already (I'm an IT guy, musician and idealistic romantic with a deep-rooted desire for dualization).
So, after 2 years without seeing each other, we met with a few school friends. For some inexplicable reason, we always enter into very personal topics just after starting conversation. This time it was no different.
So as we were the first people to arrive at the meeting, we spent some time talking and opening up and the more we talked, the more I realized how much the same were our life struggles. And it seemed that we were both going through the same life lessons.
Here are a few things we shared in common and became evident during conversation:
- We are both idealistic about finding a partner, and we can't help but avoid less than optimal relations
- We are both idealistic about money. We want to be rich basically
- We are both suffering of an impact with the out of school world, where academic intelligence isn't as relevant.
- We both had some degree of dualization during college. And we have traumatically learned to appreciate other types of intelligence.
- We are both getting pessimistic about life in general
- We both have had health and motivation problems during college
- We both struggle to understand how unethical and careless people survive (mentally and physically) in the world
- We both have had the tendency to monopolize events and situations in everything we participate (like wanting to be responsible for too many things and leaving little space for people not to be dependent on us) and are learning to let people grow.
So, basically, we seemed to match point to point every thing we did/felt/experienced and learned during these years. And when he told me about the lessons he had learned, it was something that only both of us had experienced compared to other people we know. In fact, we are very similar at this moment in life. He actually couldn't tell me anything I didn't know already from these last 2 years. It seemed like my Identical relations (I know a few identicals IRL). And we were strikingly similar and weak at the same spots in most life situations.
On the other hand, I could still notice that we differ in our leading functions, because he's clearly Te leading (he even VI like one, even though I don't want to rely on it for now), and it becomes evident when we're interacting with other people, which surprises me and makes me feel dumb (in a good way).
So by descriptions I could easily tell that we have a quasi-identity relation, but that would make me an ENTp, which I'm sure I'm not at this point.
So I have a quasi-identity (for the most part) relation with a non-quasi-identical. It is probably a mixture of Quasi-I and Benefit, to be more accurate.
Have you experienced Quasi-identity with someone who can't be one (he's a thinker, whereas I'm a feeler)?