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Thread: How were you as a child vs now?

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    Jo Lande's Avatar
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    Default How were you as a child vs now?

    I've been thinking about the development of personality while growing up, whether it is inborn or changeable. How outside factors develop introversion or extroversion. Can't remember where, though someone posted a study that showed an ESE personality, for example, is more likely to develop when around siblings, or something to that effect. So my question is: How were you when you were younger, how has your background molded you into the person you are now or how different you would have been under different circumstances (With or without siblings or parents)?

    For my background, I grew up an only child in a strict but loving home. I often visited family, but being the youngest niece, most of my cousins were teenagers, so I didn't know any kids my age before my school years. From ages 3 to 5, I was always remarked as being very energetic, curious and absent-minded. If someone wasn't around to watch me, I would wander off. I wasn't one to get my hands dirty, though I did love tinkering with toys. Despite this, my aunts and uncles always considered me friendly and polite for a child. Always full of smiles and laughter.

    I stayed the same in school, though my habits caused me a lot of trouble. I would wander into places I didn't belong and cause a mess or throw a tantrum if someone touched me, like when I got a checkup at the nurse's office. People thought I was abused or autistic, which was far from the truth, but that didn't stop me from being treated like a special needs child in class. As an adult, I've become more taciturn and unfriendly, though inside I'm still the silly klutz who gets lost on the way to the shop.

    Sometimes I wonder if my father were still alive, maybe I would've been different. He died when I was a baby, but the stories I hear about him always interest me. How he was the type of man who could party and chat up anyone in the room, yet he would sometimes withdraw and brood for hours on end before returning to his jolly, adventurous self. I suspect he might've been an IEE.

    If he were still alive, might I have been different? Maybe his extroversion would've rubbed off on me and I became an ILE or even an IEE like him. Maybe I would've stayed the same and we would've had some weird child supervisor/adult supervisee relationship? Who knows, but it's interesting to speculate on what could've been.

    Anyway, what are your thoughts and experiences?
    Last edited by Jo Lande; 09-27-2020 at 03:48 PM.

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    Adam Strange's Avatar
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    That was quick.

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    Adam Strange's Avatar
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    I don't remember much about how I was as a child, other than to say that my memories of that time seem simpler, as if they were written by someone who was not as knowledgeable as I am now.

    Read the stories in sequence in The Dubliners by James Joyce for reference.

    I don't think I was substantially different then, than now, in my motivations or general interests. I was always interested in building things and in figuring out how things worked. I even had a for-profit lemonade stand one afternoon when I was about seven years old, but it closed when the customers (other kids on the street) discovered that I wasn't washing the glasses between uses. Is that LIE entrepreneurialism coupled with Si-PoLR? Maybe.

    I remember thinking that girls were yucky and simultaneously thinking that I really liked Arlene, the red-headed girl who lived two houses down the street. She was really good at hitting a baseball with a bat, but was two years older than me (an infinity) and so talking to her was impossible. LIE Victimhood coupled with Se-HA?

    My mother had a friend whose daughter, Terry, had a shortened tendon and who had a great deal of difficulty walking. One summer, Terry was housebound because she'd had an operation to help correct her leg, and my mother ordered me to go to her house and play with her. I didn't think anything of her disability (it was just a part of her, like her black hair), but we played board games for several weeks and I wondered what I was doing there. I wasn't used to doing things that I didn't instigate myself, and while I liked Terry, I found board games to be really boring. But of course, she couldn't run and play yet, so board games was it.
    Is this an example of a "democratic quadra" tendency to see everyone else as equals? Maybe.

    I think I was substantially the same then as now. I think my personality now has more ornaments on the tree, but it's the same tree. Same as it's ever been.

    I watched as Alzheimer's caused my mother to regress through time. After her brain stopped recording short term memories, it was as if she began regressing, year by year, towards her birth. As an adult, she had been narcissistic and physically violent but kept this side of her masked when she was with strangers. Now, she was open about it. She stabbed a male orderly in the nursing home with a knife she'd stolen from the dinner table. When she had regressed to an age that I estimate to be about six, she seemed to lose the tendency towards violence and simply became a little girl, living in a world of adults who wouldn't let her go home. I think she thought she might be in a hospital or something, but that wasn't really clear. Strangely enough, she retained her interest in how things worked (she was LSE) and refrained from complaining and was extremely direct with people and if anything, became even more clear about what she thought as she fell through those final few years to her birth.

    So, to sum up, I think that we are born a particular sociotype, and then we try to make the best of it.

    The events which most greatly shape us often are experienced without any particular notice by others. I interpret this to mean that we react to the world as our sociotypes, not as people being formed into a sociotype through stress or circumstance.
    Last edited by Adam Strange; 09-27-2020 at 03:27 PM.

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    Jo Lande's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    That was quick.
    Sorry. I kind of panicked. Thought I might've been oversharing. Thank you for sharing your story and it would be wrong of me to keep my post deleted. I'll put it back up and let the topic flow like it should.

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    Adam Strange's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jo Lande View Post
    Sorry. I kind of panicked. Thought I might've been oversharing. Thank you for sharing your story and it would be wrong of me to keep my post deleted. I'll put it back up and let the topic flow like it should.
    You don't have to put it back up. I guessed that the reasons you expressed were why you took it down. Worry that you might be oversharing, or a Ti-thought that your story might not be perfectly aligned with the thread topic.

    But my opinion is that anything we post here is of little consequence and so I just write what I want. If someone benefits from my ramblings in the future, great. If not, I've had a chance to better organize my thoughts and my mind.

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    Psychic/Ghost Type Nunki's Avatar
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    There is not a strong resemblance between my personality now and my personality as it was in childhood. As a child, I was strong-willed, rebellious, extremely sensitive and emotional, and not particularly introverted if at all. Now I am compliant, easy-going, not especially emotional, and, generally, extremely quiet. The difference is rather stark, so stark that I'm comfortable saying that the Socionics type a person best identifies with can certainly change over the course of their life.

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    I’m pretty consistent but I don’t think I’m as ruthless now. I still hate people who don’t follow through with what they say they’d do. I still demand consistency and directness now as I did as a kid.

    I was raised primarily by my SLE granny until I was nearly 6 years old. She told me this story.

    I was 4 years old and running around with kids in the neighborhood a little older than me... 6 and 7 year olds. One of the kids had the idea that everyone in the group buy a different ice cream and we all could go around and trade bites with each other. We did the ice cream bite exchange and the group leader wanted the last bite of mine so I gave it to him. I watched him eat it and then asked for a bite of his. He told me he didn’t have anymore. My granny described my facial expression looked as if my heart dropped. My granny knew that effected me and let me lounge in my “secret” spot in the backyard with my cat. The following day, my granny followed me as I was walking to the group leader’s house. I smashed 2 glass bottles on the walkway and called out the boy’s name to come out and play. He ran outside and got his foot cut up badly and I stood there watching him scream in pain and laughed. After that, I walked home and gave my cat a bath. I tried to plug my cat’s wet tail in the electric socket but my granny stopped me. After I dried my cat, I put her my bike’s basket and went riding. My granny suspected I did other things to the boy later on. Probably. I tend make life hell for anyone who crosses me.


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    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    same quiet reserved nature
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Ania's Avatar
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    introverted, calm, "easy child," obedient. Still emotionally detached as I always have been, from my parents.

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    Thor Mkbr's Avatar
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    As a kid in school I was very rigid, quiet and brooding. As I remember, something was almost always annoying me and I wanted to be by myself and daydream. I didn't get along with other kids and decided they were stupid as pretentious shield against attacks on my ego. I realized I wouldnt fit in and so I stopped trying to. Later on at about 10 I became the militant atheist kid that picked arguments with christian kids, fedora and all. I always was looking to the future somehow as an escape from the depressing solitary reality. I was bullied a lot and at some point seeing counsellors who suggested I might have aspergers, which my parents ultimately decided against. Good choice, cause i'm not. Being an adult was always attractive, at least adults can demand respect from others.
    Later on in mid teens I started realizing my situation more broadly, that I was a socially inept person and I didnt wanna be stuck in the shell of my own self consciousness forever. After losing a bunch of weight in a short timeframe at 15, I started developing my confidence. In the beginning, even sharing a song I liked with somebody else would cause me to shake and sweat. Eventually through pushing myself out of my comfort zone, I developed communication skills and I started weaponizing eccentricity into strength. I started doing music and decided the only thing that could save me from the malaise of the world was to become a famous musician, and this ambition had led me since. These days (20 now) I am very strongly extroverted and talkative and I can find a way to talk to almost any person. I have a lot more fun and have loosened up from the extremely uptight and rigid persona I had in childhood. I still feel very angry at the world a lot of the time, and I am far from relaxed. There is no time to spend on anything trivial in my eyes, anything that doesnt serve the purpose of my life.
    EIE-Fe Creative 7w8 748 Sx/So VELF

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    As a child I was like a male Carrie. Easily bullied and hurt and made fun of and teased and rejected and easy for ppl to feel condescending to and to act like they had power over me. And cruel authority figures got off on making me feel like I deserved all the abuse I was getting and making me out to be the bad guy even tho I was the one being attacked so much. /shits on the world with the incels.

    Now I'm more confident and stable and less emo but still hyper protective of my inner young Carrie lol. /TK smashes a bully against the wall.

    also ironically maybe- I've felt more logical then than I do now, even though now I'm more stable and less easy to topple over. So I think logic being "tough" is kind of a big illusion.

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    (◡‿◡✿) moloko's Avatar
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    i was a rambunctious little shit stain; i never wanted to stay home (or inside anyone else's home for that matter)- it always had to be outside outside outside

    even in a blizzard or thunderstorm, i still wanted to go out and play the internet was still a baby back then and i wasnt allowed to play video games, so yeah. i knew all the neighbors on my block and could be found mingling with them if i wasn't home. like strangers who?? little me did not care. LOL. i also just loved being in nature and exploring- i had quite literally poked my head into every crevice and bush of my front and backyard, and secretly, other ppls yards. LOL. my parents didn't really keep a strict eye on me, they knew i was nearby somewhere. if i wasn't outside, i was reading or drawing or watching tv. my godmother sent me books every week too so i have her to thank for my love of them and keeping me not bored.

    i think i was a nice, happy, outgoing kid overall- if not outspoken most of the time. i got in trouble throughout kindergarten for never shutting up and pointing out things that i shouldn't have. like how dirty so-and-so's ears were, for example. i never really got into fights tho and had all honors at school.

    my parents actually hated that i was such a tomboy, they're super traditional and strict and have this idea of how every girl should look and act and i just wasn't it. they would try to force me to change my behavior thru physical and verbal abuse but i was just too super stubborn and uncompromising. and actually, i'm glad i was, because i think i turned out pretty great in the end!

    later on when i turned 5, i gradually became the oldest of 4 siblings (the last one being born when i was 12). after the 4th one was born, it was tough keeping up with all the responsibilities, but i somehow managed (did all the chores, made sure my siblings didn't murder each other, got them food when either parent was KO'd-- they both worked 11 hrs per day with my dad having graveyard shifts). i also wouldn't consider myself a sweet, loving caregiver by all means since i was kinda rough with with my siblings, but i do get shit done when it needs to be done (though i still am pretty procrastinaty). i don't think i've ever really changed much from my kid self, save that i think about my longterm goals now as opposed to never lol
    “You are a little soul carrying around a corpse.”
    - Epictetus


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    ouronis's Avatar
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    I had a lot less shit to worry about, so I was more carefree. Deep down, I'm probably the same.

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    I was brighter emotionally and had less of a filter. And was more energetic as kids tend to be.

    For the most part though I had the same tendencies; I've just learned a lot since then about how to deal with the world.

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    I was strange weirdo and today I'm even stranger weirdo.
    Measuring you right now

    Winning is for losers

     

    Sincerely yours,
    idiosyncratic type

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    I was more extroverted and outgoing. Used to get in trouble a lot; was class clown in elementary school. I used to act impulsively and just do things because I thought I'd like them. I remember having to go to the principal's office in elementary school more than once because I wanted to hug the girls, lol, and they didn't like it. I also remember a teacher asking for an answer to a question and she would ask if anyone was sure enough to stake their life on it and I was the only that said yes, and she gave me candy for being right, lol; I just wanted to say yes because no on else would.

    In middle school, I started becoming more reserved and I think I found a greater appreciation for stimulating my intellect; I think I didn't fit in well with the idea of being "cool" and I started to mature a bit and realized I found most people annoying. I still kind of do I guess. And I started to realize people are always kind of there and "in your face" about everything and I find that unnecessarily tiring and pointless. Being a kid was kind of fun actually, at least through elementary school anyway.
    ~Fish heads, fish heads, rolli polli fish heads~
    ~Fish heads, fish heads, eat them up, yum!~

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    Hot Message FDG's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ouronis View Post
    I had a lot less shit to worry about, so I was more carefree. Deep down, I'm probably the same.
    Basically this
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    I was at least according to my parents: obedient & well behaved, energetic, friendly & outgoing they didn't really have any major problems with me. I was a straight A student tbh without becoming the teacher's pet. My parents expected me to do well in school so I did. Due to a rather traumatic event when I was 9 things took a turn for the worse & I became anxious-antisocial, lost trust in my parents & basically ppl close to me. It spiraled downwards from there as I felt my best friend stabbed me in the back.. eventually I broke contact with the guy by age 14 (he is some Gamma NT). Events like this basically create a deeply ingrained neural pathway-scar and predispose the brain towards being fearful-anxious for probably the rest of it's existence, so I simply deal with it every day. Its also probably why I'm a 6. I was a rather turbulent teenager, lots of hate & anger, I could explode at times and cause a lot of problems.. had a volatile & reactive temper, hated the world. I was actually surprised how much I calmed down by age 24 (frontal lobe development?) and I did some self development, so I'm more "charming" nowadays, kinda cynical tho.

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    FreelancePoliceman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thehotelambush View Post
    I was brighter emotionally and had less of a filter. And was more energetic as kids tend to be.

    For the most part though I had the same tendencies; I've just learned a lot since then about how to deal with the world.
    Pretty similar with me, until I was about 6 or so. I didn't have the best family and began to distance myself from them at this age; it also coincided with beginning school, which I resented going to. I've always hated the feeling of being forced to spend my time in some way against my will. If I had it my way I would have spent all my time reading and studying insects (or larger animals, if I could find them).

    I think at this age I quickly developed a filter (though I had trouble maintaining it well into my adolescence -- now it's difficult to speak at all without a filter. Go figure) and became quite withdrawn. I began to think about how I related to people and understood the world, and realized I didn't understand either at all, which bothered me. I often tended to avoid both. I did have friends, though; mostly Alphas (Socionics' predictive power is sometimes unnerving) -- my two best friends were ILE and SEI.

    I was 10-13 I moved a bit, and when we settled, I got less interaction outside my family, and most of the people I did interact with were evangelical fundamentalists. I became even more withdrawn, though I'd occasionally flash outside. I was born into evangelicalism and only became a heretic at 14 or 15, but by this point I was very annoyed by the evangelicals I was interacting with and the anti-intellectual strain in the community (which is enormous -- it's difficult to properly convey this to someone who hasn't spent a great deal of time around such people). I'd occasionally spend my time arguing with adults to amuse myself, since people were generally open to engaging kids. Or I'd sometimes tell fantastic stories and see how much I could convince them to swallow. It gave me kicks to watch people realize when they talked to me that their conception of reality was growing more absurd; I really was prideful of my ability to argue any point or to construct believable absurdities. I began to be interested in girls and would occasionally try to make moves, though I wasn't ever successful. I could be more or less charismatic and witty when I wanted to be (usually for a girl), but for the most part I fell into long spells of depression.

    Now I think I have a better understanding of people and how to live. I'm more social, though I don't have any friends. I'm also more easily annoyed and less idealistic.

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    I was always EXTREMELY sensitive and picking up on everyone's moods, absorbing them and trying to understand understand people and make them feel better. My mom says that I am the most intuitive person she's ever known because I can sense something is off/wrong before other people can fully verbalize it.

    The other part of my personality was my stubbornness and need to have my environment and the mood around me a certain way. Bossy. But very determined.

    I would regularly get compliments on how respectful and well-mannered i was. And I would take offense to rudeness and other people misbehaving and being obnoxious.

    I would not shut up and ask a lot of questions and drive people nuts.

    Luckily, I think my personality has balanced out a bit to the point i sometimes come more introverted.

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    I could probably have been mistaken for a Ne lead when I was a little kid.

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    Filter? What is that? There are people who hold their stuff in with huge filter and it filters a lot of antagonist attitudes (this is being disagreeable even more so than saying it aloud). That being said my stuff is not mean - it is just direct also not so in this moment and dunno... not directly related so people draw their own conclusions if they can.
    Measuring you right now

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    idiosyncratic type

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    I was more introverted and reserved. More stick-in-my-ass.

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    In a way, my psyche was exactly the same;

    I was always had a sense of right vs wrong, correct vs incorrect, sensitive to inconsistencies, never intimidated by anyone/entity

    I was kinda like an EIE with people at school in a way; could blend in with different crowds and such

    Now, it's exactly the same but slightly more mature (lol) and my mind is filled with more bullshit from the world.

    Back then more optimistic, carefree, hopeful.

    I was also too trusting of people and never questioned people's motives
    Last edited by fireee; 09-28-2020 at 04:42 PM.

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    Naive. Although I always got comfort from being by myself, I was overly trusting of people and never looked for any self-interest or deviousness on their part. I was also more adventuresome and although I never was a deliberate risk-taker, I did undertake, what I would consider now in hindsight, very risky behaviour when, for example, skiing, mountain climbing, boating - and of course, associating with certain individuals. My cognitive processing structure hasn't really changed although the baggage that I've acquired along the way has likely obscured it.

    a.k.a. I/O

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    Quote Originally Posted by SnatchYourWeave View Post
    I’m pretty consistent but I don’t think I’m as ruthless now. I still hate people who don’t follow through with what they say they’d do. I still demand consistency and directness now as I did as a kid.

    I was raised primarily by my SLE granny until I was nearly 6 years old. She told me this story.

    I was 4 years old and running around with kids in the neighborhood a little older than me... 6 and 7 year olds. One of the kids had the idea that everyone in the group buy a different ice cream and we all could go around and trade bites with each other. We did the ice cream bite exchange and the group leader wanted the last bite of mine so I gave it to him. I watched him eat it and then asked for a bite of his. He told me he didn’t have anymore. My granny described my facial expression looked as if my heart dropped. My granny knew that effected me and let me lounge in my “secret” spot in the backyard with my cat. The following day, my granny followed me as I was walking to the group leader’s house. I smashed 2 glass bottles on the walkway and called out the boy’s name to come out and play. He ran outside and got his foot cut up badly and I stood there watching him scream in pain and laughed. After that, I walked home and gave my cat a bath. I tried to plug my cat’s wet tail in the electric socket but my granny stopped me. After I dried my cat, I put her my bike’s basket and went riding. My granny suspected I did other things to the boy later on. Probably. I tend make life hell for anyone who crosses me.


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    Sounds psychopathic.

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    I was a tomboy and a bookworm. I was also pretty argumentative when discussing science based topics..and my friends would tell me to shut-up, leave them alone, and join a debate team. I got into physical fights with boys because I was a smart-ass and I teased some of them sometimes. There was this kid named Jeremiah, and I once just broke out into song "Jeremiah was a bullfrog!" So he choke slammed me on a desk. I pulled his fingers off my throat and punched him. I thought he really overreacted, and besides, it was a great song.

    I played with boys or hung out in the library mostly. I had some girlfriends, but I would grow tired of their politics in groups.

    Today I'm pretty much the same, but watered down some. I'm not as argumentative as I used to be.
    The scientists of today think deeply instead of clearly. One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite insane. -Nikola Tesla

  28. #28
    f.k.a Oprah sbbds's Avatar
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    I was really studious and also much more passive. I was like a top student at everything and got awards, a chubby nerdy kid. I didn’t care about how I came across socially. Internally I was suffering the whole time lol.

  29. #29
    xerxe xerxe's Avatar
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    I was really, really cute and people thought I was a girl. (I'm still cute ^.^).

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