Quote Originally Posted by lkdhf qkb View Post
Yea using logistics is a way to regulate the relationship distance for SLIs. When they don't want to talk, they just don't answer your messages. Kinda rude and annoying, doesn't make their counterpart feel emotionally safe tbh

oh! I've seen that!

@ logistics to regulate distance.

LIE get super close psychologically. I end up getting engaged when I wasn't looking to...or being asked to be a godparent three months into knowing ppl..... (tangent I'm glad ESI keep people at bay initially)

But back to distance regulation:

I know a SLI who clearly finds fault with my gamma ways and enjoys talking with me nonetheless. I realized that steering the conversation to certain topics meant we interacted more positively. Occassionally the SLI doesn't want to talk and references something else (task b) they have to do elsewhere but continues with a task A near me that would allow talking. I don't think the SLI realizes I do better with "I don't have any energy to talk" or "I want to focus" or "Your challenges are not in my wheelhouse, and I feel frustrated thinking about talking about them." I am de-perturbed hearing all those. Everything seems reasonable and like we're on okay terms.

I wish the SLI knew that.

Honestly, as long as people indicate how they feel about me (my blindspot), I don't give a shit if they can't 'play with me.' And I'm happy to support their endeavors or jump on board and do the work for them or leave them alone (majority of my longterm friends are introverted).