Do ESFps have ANY redeeming qualities?!

[nanashi]

I prefer LIEs 100 percent. I’ll probably marry one of those. We can have a SEE child together to ease the mirror woes, I can just send the little shit to their room when their evil ESFP tendencies show up.

ew, friend. your bitterness while you're hurting is gross.
your grief over the betrayals..you're spewing bigotry instead of facing your hurt and moving through it.

[DEAD]

Duality's overrated, my @calm friend.

[Aster]

I’ve had a bad experience with a SEE lately. I also think she’s enneagram 3, maybe 3w2 sx/so. I think that plays a part. But I kind of see what you mean. She was a huge liar, I couldn’t believe it. But I don’t think all SEE’s are like this. Maybe it’s also a combo of enneagram . And I think she was just plain fucked up. Maybe you are attracting people who are fucked up lol

honestly I’d recommend just forgetting about socionics and focus more on your chemistry with another person and if it doesn’t work out it’s not the end of the world. I see people thinking too much about socionics and being too picky and over complicating things. makes it hard to find anyone like that, you’ll be 80

[calm]

I’ve had a bad experience with a SEE lately. I also think she’s enneagram 3, maybe 3w2 sx/so. I think that plays a part. But I kind of see what you mean. She was a huge liar, I couldn’t believe it. But I don’t think all SEE’s are like this. Maybe it’s also a combo of enneagram . And I think she was just plain fucked up. Maybe you are attracting people who are fucked up lol

honestly I’d recommend just forgetting about socionics and focus more on your chemistry with another person and if it doesn’t work out it’s not the end of the world. I see people thinking too much about socionics and being too picky and over complicating things. makes it hard to find anyone like that, you’ll be 80

What’s your type and can you elaborate on those experiences?

[Samson]

For those in denial: this is what a troll thread looks like.

[SGF]

For those in denial: this is what a troll thread looks like.

Yeah. e_e that's why I blocked OP. At least I managed to inject something constructive into the conversation.

[Grendel]

Those who cause you the most pain are often the most valuable. The worst are usually the indifferent ones.

[Aramas]

I am fed up with the duals in my life. I'm beginning to wonder whether duality is all it's cracked up to be because my ESFps seem to cause more headaches than they are worth. I have a dual parent, a dual friend, and a dual love interest and they are all looking like lost causes to me. I have had to deploy a ridiculous amount of forgiveness to tolerate them. No matter how much true love I display, it is never returned.

My ESFp parent:
-Abused me physically for the smallest things growing up
-Could not tell when being manipulated by others and allowed those manipulations to lead to the abuse of others, especially me
-I never truly felt loved by this parent unless something was up. I was supported financially, but it is routinely thrown in my face
-Married to a mirage, miserable, perpetual cheater, and appears selfless to others but those closer to the circle witness the truth selfishness of their actions
-Cares a lot about appearances, but underneath it all is an awful rolemodel
-Never reaches out to me first but complains to others that I don't try hard enough to mend our relationship (because as the child that's obviously my job)

My ESFp friend:
-Great for partying or adventures, but has mood swings and becomes very emotionally manipulative
ex: If I'm dating a guy and I'm happy but she isn't, she will try to manipulate my thoughts about the guy
-Doesn't listen to sound advice, but when shit hits the fan, expects me to suffer with her
-Nowhere to be found when I'm depressed or have mood swings of my own
-Allows other friends of questionable morale to come between us
-Uses everyone, has 0 interest in someone who doesn't apparently have something she can use (money or fame)
-Won't tell anyone how she feels but expects them to "know", (My Fe polr won't tolerate this at all)
-Randomly chooses to ignore me, abandon me, and give me the cold shoulder and is appalled when I don't run back to her
-Will reject people's help if she didn't lie, swindle, or seduce them to get her way
-Will be jealous of people who work for what they have, unlike her
-Admittedly hates seeing people happy if she is not
-The entire friendship gives me the feeling that she wishes I were a lesbian and in love with her, that way she could seduce me and take advantage of me
-Will pretend she has no money so I'll pay for her
-When I buy her food or something she needs, she never shows appreciation. She might say thank you once, but quickly makes a habit of becoming entitled to the good treatment. Continues to complain that no one cares about her.
-I never know where I stand with her and am constantly walking on eggshells to keep her happy
-Gives the impression that she could care less about our friendship even though it's obvious I am quite literally the only genuine friend she has.
-Will run off when I try to stand up against her mistreatment then shit-talk me and tell a twisted version of what happened to whoever is willing to listen, one time she painted me as an awful person on social media.

We are currently on an OFF stage and I've decided to let her go. She is in bad financial shape and deeply in need of someone and I've decided to leave her to the wolves. Why should I, the better friend (not to mention, the Victim), have to chase her?

My ESFp love (interest?): I'll start this off by saying it has been extremely hard to find a straight, male ESFp. I'm starting to wonder if they even exist...
-No solid career, no stable income and no concrete plan to have either
-Easily spends what money he does have on useless things
-Easily swindled into get rich quick schemes
-No desire to "be a man" and work or take care of a woman
-I once told him I was in a bad situation, he showed no concern ("Gotta go, you're being too negative")
-Is taken care of by and living with his mother
-Hypersexual Tinder addict whose admittedly slept with close to 200 girls
-Keeps mentioning transwomen and gay men, being "mistaken" for gay, to the point of suspicion
-Hard for me to tell when his compliments or anything he says is sincere, because...
-He is constantly lying about even the smallest things, just for me to catch him in his lies because he never remembers them once they leave his mouth
-Is also attracted to people with money and fame, leading me to wonder if I will be used for these things or left for someone with more of it
-Tells me he likes me, has fun with me, but never texts me first or makes plans with me

With duals, it's like I'm constantly trying to force them to see the value in me and in our pairing, no matter how much they are benefitting from it.
The things they value are things I have but refuse to be used for like money. I instead would like to help them make money using their talents and dissuade them from making bad decisions or hanging around the wrong crowd. I do all this expecting nothing in return. And yet, they tend to hurt me more than any other type I have relationships with. And though we have good times together, I end up feeling like I get nothing out of the pairing. They have proven themselves to be selfish, self-serving, and willing to do anything with anyone to meet their needs.
They don't seem to stand on any moral principles, can't tell which friends or love interests are worth their time and effort, and are constantly using me as an emotional punching bag if not just stringing me along. It has caused more damage to my trust and self esteem than growth in my opinion. I almost wish I was a different type so I wouldn't have such an awful dual type. No matter how much help you give them, they are a bottomless pit and will have you feeling like you put time and effort in for nothing. Then they happily move on to someone who treats them worse but is more loved and appreciated by them than you were.

Sounds like a narcissist or a sociopath, that last guy.

[Nobody]

Duals angry at each other.
People trying to retype people.
OP is called a troll and blocked.

I voted 5 stars.

[Grendel]

Duals angry at each other.
People trying to retype people.
OP is called a troll and blocked.

I voted 5 stars.

doolz mad

[Lolita]

Duality is overrated because it’s never a good idea to put all your weakest parts in one person because they’ll use it against you. I see ppl romanticize duality when in reality, this is a person who is opposite of you in every way and there’s some weird social expectation you’re supposed to love them It's best when you have SOME outside help with your superid from more than one person, and the rest is up to you. Anything else is codependent. Even if Duality works, and that's a big IF, the helpfulness is still overrated. Yes, it may help you "integrate," but the results are inferior to when the integration occurs via more than one relationship in your life. One person can never be enough. You’re better off learning Se from SLE. Fi... yuck. Theory goes with ILI learning Fi better from IEE as mirage.

[End]

Duality is overrated because it’s never a good idea to put all your weakest parts in one person because they’ll use it against you. I see ppl romanticize duality when in reality, this is a person who is opposite of you in every way and there’s some weird social expectation you’re supposed to love them It's best when you have SOME outside help with your superid from more than one person, and the rest is up to you. Anything else is codependent. Even if Duality works, and that's a big IF, the helpfulness is still overrated. Yes, it may help you "integrate," but the results are inferior to when the integration occurs via more than one relationship in your life. One person can never be enough. You’re better off learning Se from SLE. Fi... yuck. Theory goes with ILI learning Fi better from IEE as mirage.

Ouch, bitter much? I mean I see life as a game we cannot help but play but damn you're out-pessimisting an ILI here. Quite the accomplishment I'd say if I didn't have a heart.

It actually is a good idea to present your weaknesses to your potential soul mate, but it comes with a pretty damned obvious caveat. See, most everything we want to assume in regards to interpersonal relationships banks on everyone being "well-adjusted" as it were. Y'know, grew up in a nice neighborhood with parents who both loved each other and loved you. Had an actual community as even cavemen would understand it that you grew up in. That's the baseline. Sadly, few if any of us were so lucky to have been granted that blessing. Thus, it's broken people trying to get along with other similarly broken people. If we had a way to codify and work through this shit objectively we'd have already done so. We have not.

I'd also like to point out that duality kind of meets the ideal of romance novels, but from a male perspective. For example, you can and will find romance genre stuff in Shounen mags. Look for them, they're there, but only if you're actively searching. In them you'll notice a common theme. The girl actively seeks to fulfill the emotional needs of the male and is/will fully commit to him. Why? Because he's worthy of her and she admits it damnit! Either by act and deed or by demonstration of his virtue on the level of what he is in the dark, he's a true man worthy of her. I can expand on this, but that's an essay and I know better than to launch into tirades and essays unprovoked .

[DEAD]

The easy answer to the question is:


DO I HAVE ANY REDEEMING QUALITIES?


IF yes, they do. If not, then I guess not?

[Aramas]

The easy answer to the question is:


DO I HAVE ANY REDEEMING QUALITIES?


IF yes, they do. If not, then I guess not?

Idk do you have a big dick?

[DEAD]

Idk do you have a big dick?

Biggaer than uranus yes

[Aramas]

Biggaer than uranus yes

*Pulsations*

[EUDAEMONIUM]

ESFps are good people, I don't know why they have such a bad rep. They can be combative but to me its similar to my style of conversation so I will vibe well with them. They are determined people who are good to their friends (typically). Whats wrong with that?

[grumpyvic81]

I am fed up with the duals in my life. I'm beginning to wonder whether duality is all it's cracked up to be because my ESFps seem to cause more headaches than they are worth. I have a dual parent, a dual friend, and a dual love interest and they are all looking like lost causes to me. I have had to deploy a ridiculous amount of forgiveness to tolerate them.

(...)

With duals, it's like I'm constantly trying to force them to see the value in me and in our pairing, no matter how much they are benefitting from it.
The things they value are things I have but refuse to be used for like money. I instead would like to help them make money using their talents and dissuade them from making bad decisions or hanging around the wrong crowd. I do all this expecting nothing in return. And yet, they tend to hurt me more than any other type I have relationships with. And though we have good times together, I end up feeling like I get nothing out of the pairing. They have proven themselves to be selfish, self-serving, and willing to do anything with anyone to meet their needs.
They don't seem to stand on any moral principles, can't tell which friends or love interests are worth their time and effort, and are constantly using me as an emotional punching bag if not just stringing me along. It has caused more damage to my trust and self esteem than growth in my opinion. I almost wish I was a different type so I wouldn't have such an awful dual type. No matter how much help you give them, they are a bottomless pit and will have you feeling like you put time and effort in for nothing. Then they happily move on to someone who treats them worse but is more loved and appreciated by them than you were.

You just need to learn to avoid unhealthy people & work on your own boundaries. Unhealthy duals are prob the most dangerous yeah since you get and feel closer to them than to others. So yeah plain learn to avoid red flags and don't be the overgiving one in any relationship. Good luck

[meatburger]

Jees SEE's are alright Calm. I can see you're really salty about them but you've had awful experiences. You've just been unlucky to meet some shit ones, don't let that Tar them all with one brush. You might be feeling slighted because your dual doesn't seem to be interested in you. If you take socionics too seriously this type of thinking can make you feel like you're flawed. I'm the same, a lot of my duals often don't seem to like me at all. Its a shit thought to think your duals are going around fucking everyone while you're alone. Some people are like dual magnets, they are just attractive (mostly personality) for whatever reason, some aren't. You've had a shit run of things from your parents I get it as i've been there. I just thought to myself that I'd work on myself, try to make the best version of myself that I could. Duals be damned. Really positive relationships happen rarely even with duals and i've met buckets of ISTP's, it absolutely doesn't extend to every person of that type.

I know a lot of decent SEE's. My mates sister runs a school psychology business and is very successful, shes been nothing but nice and shes fun when you get together for sure. Another mates brother works in corrections developing treatments /studying criminals. He used to smoke and drink and eat a lot of food when younger but has settled into a good family man / dad from what I can tell.

I know one whos friends with my LIE mate, hes incredibly popular and I always thought he hated me, was pretty cold. He hooked up with some girl and they didn't work out so she got some dudes to break into his house and beat the absolute shit out of him. He was friends with a kickboxer who then in turn beat the shit out of one of these guys. I saw him recently, hes working in the Hifi store and I think life has humbled him a bit. He gave me a discount and I had a chat with him. Hes not quite as cool now that hes older and I think life has humbled him a bit. I get the feeling that after getting beaten up so badly he's changed his ways and now seems like quite a good guy.

The last one is one I work with. Hes basically just pretty remarkable in every way. He is about 6'4, he looks like a model. Intelligent, ethical, woman are basically addicted to him. You look on his facebook and its basically just him at music concerts surrounded by models. I think hes a bit of a cunt but that's only because he seems to have it all, although I wouldn't want all of his life if I could. Annoyingly though, I cant really fault him at all.

[Donald Trump]

Excuse me. I was typed as an SEE EsFP by Mr. GUBENKO and I clearly have many incredible qualities. The fact that I was voted to be President proves this. People at my rallies are incredibly inspired by my words and what I have to say. I have lots of money, a beautiful wife, wonderful children, and Barron is always playing with his LEGOs. I am really blessed.

Thank you and remember to vote for me!!! A vote for BIDEN is a vote for a one-state country.

[meatburger]

Excuse me. I was typed as an SEE EsFP by Mr. GUBENKO and I clearly have many incredible qualities. The fact that I was voted to be President proves this. People at my rallies are incredibly inspired by my words and what I have to say. I have lots of money, a beautiful wife, wonderful children, and Barron is always playing with his LEGOs. I am really blessed.

Thank you and remember to vote for me!!! A vote for BIDEN is a vote for a one-state country.

Fucking hell Trump. If you're SEE then even I can't defend them any more.

[Alomoes]

Does ESFp now mean person who is hot and wastes all your money? Cause that sounds like terrible analysis. In fact, I kind of expect SEE to be a common mistype, as Se is kind of strategic thinking. Hypothetically they should be really good generals, and would solve all or some of my problems with stocks. Depends on if I'm a mistyped ILI. Otherwise we ought to have good discussion on the stock market, and methods of making money. Hypothetically I have a guy in mind. He's uh. Probably actually my activity. I'm probably going to get relatively pedantic on him though, as he's damn bad at explaining things in a way that'll satisfy my want for solid internal narrative. He posted an article where the title says Florida is allowing people to shoot looters. Then I said if they're allowing looters to be hunted that's bad. Then he said no it's good. This went on for a while. I knew it was probably not that looters were being allowed to be hunted, but castle defense was being extended to businesses. However, I'm not reading that article. I tried to get it out of him, but bruh. No. Eventually an hour later, he clarifies. I told him to lead with that, cause all of chat was angry at him, not just me. Sounds like Ti polr to me, or being oblivious on why people don't understand what you wrote.

I cut out the rant on why orange man is not SEE. He's probably EIE, my lookalike. If he is SLE, then I'm probably SEE. I said why elsewhere.

Other take. My old manager could've been SEE, and he's got good math. We worked REALLY well together. Uh. He's also very charismatic. I am too, but he's selling sand in the desert. This area now buys a tone of seafood when it's on discount and just in general.

[The Reality Denialist]

Does ESFp now mean person who is hot and wastes all your money?

They tend to be quite cautios money wasters if they can not live off luxurious life like Mr Trumpet. Like when my sis who is SEE really makes an effort to not to over spend her budget at Monopoly but yeah they can waste money especially on their friends and children (altough they treat their kids as their buddies at times) .

[Adam Strange]

They tend to be quite cautios money wasters if they can not live off luxurious life like Mr Trumpet. Like when my sis who is SEE really makes an effort to not to over spend her budget at Monopoly but yeah they can waste money especially on their friends and children (altough they treat their kids as their buddies at times) .

A very good description of one Mr. Trump.

Except he’d date his daughter, rather than be friends with her.

[Alomoes]

Well, in that case, ILI must be pretty daft, as there is no point. It's a liability to have someone like that. I highly doubt that's a respectable description for a person, as money habits are learned behavior. For example, Trump pays in exact change.

[inaLim]

I can think of 2 cool SEEs and 2 shitty ones.

#1 SEE-Se - This guy started a young professional high-society networking group/pseudo-frat, built it up over 5 years, then went to 1-by-1 to the most soft-hearted & socially naive dudes and scammed them out of a lot of $$$. He has a bright future as a corrupt megachurch pastor. No he is not EIE.

#2 SEE-Se - My godfather. He used toddler me as a prop to pick up women while his wife was pregnant with his firstborn. (I know Gammas who swing, but this did not seem above board). He improvises incredible lies on the fly trying to bond with me, when he senses I'm about to drop him.

The cool SEEs I know are just kindhearted, genuine people who keep a tight circle and show up for their friends. I think they are both SEE-Fi.

[Accipiter]

I'm not sure why but it really hurts me to read the things SEE's post on social media. Not that there's anything inherently wrong with it, but just that it seems so cliché.

Some recent ones from my SEE-Fi friend:
"People often fail to see that fixing the issue initially solves the problem rather then sweeping it under the rug and expecting it to change in time. Time doesn’t solve problems but efforts & actions do."
"Will be taking a break from social media starting tonight. Not sure when I’ll be back but just need time to re-evaluate who I am and where I wanna be."
(Two days later)
"Don’t ever let anyone make you feel like the bad guy. You should know your value and what you did for someone. If they can’t learn to appreciate you then that’s not your issue. It’s theirs."

[raTG13]

I'm not sure why but it really hurts me to read the things SEE's post on social media. Not that there's anything inherently wrong with it, but just that it seems so cliché.

Some recent ones from my SEE-Fi friend:
"People often fail to see that fixing the issue initially solves the problem rather then sweeping it under the rug and expecting it to change in time. Time doesn’t solve problems but efforts & actions do."
"Will be taking a break from social media starting tonight. Not sure when I’ll be back but just need time to re-evaluate who I am and where I wanna be."
(Two days later)
"Don’t ever let anyone make you feel like the bad guy. You should know your value and what you did for someone. If they can’t learn to appreciate you then that’s not your issue. It’s theirs."

All SFs have a "basic bitch" quality to them.

The most basic of all would be a handcrafted wall hanging saying some version of "Live, Laugh, Love".

[sbbds]

All SFs have a "basic bitch" quality to them.

The most basic of all would be a handcrafted wall hanging saying some version of "Live, Laugh, Love".

Starbucks basic bitch lol

[SlytherinPower]

Starbucks basic bitch lol

Pumpkin spice latte

[Adam Strange]

All SFs have a "basic bitch" quality to them.

The most basic of all would be a handcrafted wall hanging saying some version of "Live, Laugh, Love".

Yeah, that's pretty awful. The only thing worse is clown pictures painted on velvet. If I see one of those in a house, my immediate conclusion is, "We can never be friends."

[FreelancePoliceman]

@DEAD, install Arch Linux on a computer and you'll be able to satisfy your urge to upgrade electronics every single day! Not to mention, installing Linux is in itself an upgrade over whatever you were using previously.

[DEAD]

@DEAD, install Arch Linux on a computer and you'll be able to satisfy your urge to upgrade electronics every single day! Not to mention, installing Linux is in itself an upgrade over whatever you were using previously.

That requires doing all this technical stuff, so no. Not looking for Linux versions of everything either.

[FreelancePoliceman]

But. @DEAD! It's so much cheaper than WIndows (100%, in fact)! It can revitalize old hardware! You get the latest and best software! You're more productive without updates from the blue, or unexplainable crashes! Linux can be much more resistant to data corruption! Learning 'technical stuff' will expand your career options! Where is your Te-mobilizing?

[DEAD]

But. @DEAD! It's so much cheaper than WIndows (100%, in fact)! It can revitalize old hardware! You get the latest and best software! You're more productive without updates from the blue, or unexplainable crashes! Linux can be much more resistant to data corruption! Learning 'technical stuff' will expand your career options! Where is your Te-mobilizing?

That's why I ditched windows at windows 10.

My te-mobilizing also says that it's a waste of time to look for Linux compatible programs. Not everyone is on the Linux train yet and I want free programs.

[FreelancePoliceman]

That's why I ditched windows at windows 10.

My te-mobilizing also says that it's a waste of time to look for Linux compatible programs. Not everyone is on the Linux train yet and I want free programs.

On Linux virtually all programs are free, and most of the ones you'll need come with the distribution you install! And all the time you'll ever spend looking for a Linux-compatible program combined will be less than the time wasted by unscheduled Windows updates and BSODs. Besides, Linux runs faster than Windows, so it makes up for itself!!

[The Reality Denialist]

On Linux virtually all programs are free, and most of the ones you'll need come with the distribution you install! And all the time you'll ever spend looking for a Linux-compatible program combined will be less than the time wasted by unscheduled Windows updates and BSODs. Besides, Linux runs faster than Windows, so it makes up for itself!!

It seems to me that only open source programs can give you comfortable convenient use. No advertsiments/ exhaustive hunting (install/uninstall cycle) and so on. (If you use Android install FDroid ASAP. )
It is hassle free. Well, the case is different if it lacks in features or has bugs.

[DEAD]

On Linux virtually all programs are free, and most of the ones you'll need come with the distribution you install! And all the time you'll ever spend looking for a Linux-compatible program combined will be less than the time wasted by unscheduled Windows updates and BSODs. Besides, Linux runs faster than Windows, so it makes up for itself!!

Time is money. Seems like a lot of time.

[FreelancePoliceman]

Time is money. Seems like a lot of time.

Linux saves time and is free. Checkmate.

[Nobody]

@FreelancePoliceman

Hey, do you actually use Linux for a personal Desktop? I've tried over the years to switch, even buying in-depth books and learning some of the more hardcore software side of everything (I think my favorite distro was Slackware), but there's always stuff that doesn't work right and either needs a lot of fiddling to get working or it's buggy (like open-source video card drivers) and it ends up annoying me and I go back to Windows. I've tried Ubuntu recently and found out I can't watch Netflix in 4k and went back to Windows. There always seems to be something that I have to give up to go to Linux. It would be kind of cool if some company, similar to Apple, supported certain hardware with a custom distro so that everything could work right, like MacOS, but open-source. But it seems that will never happen.