Results 1 to 40 of 40

Thread: On the Internet vs Real Life Inter-type Relations

  1. #1
    I'm a tourist in the land of my own being Megatrop's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2019
    Location
    Cosmos
    TIM
    IEE-NeFe-San1Phleg2
    Posts
    700
    Mentioned
    50 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default On the Internet vs Real Life Inter-type Relations

    Do you notice any difference in your relationships with types over the internet and in "real life", face to face?

    I'm especially curious about semi-duality, but the others are equally relevant to this thread.

    Also, people let their guards down more easily on the internet, and I think this is an important factor to be taken into consideration.
    self-discovery
    self-development
    optimism
    relationships
    communication
    high ideals

  2. #2
    Ксеркс, царь царей xerx's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Miniluv
    Posts
    7,373
    Mentioned
    173 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    People spill their guts out on the internet because there aren't any real consequences to revealing their hidden feelings. They're more reserved in real life. IME.

  3. #3
    Haikus Computer Loser's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    1,433
    Mentioned
    96 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    the difference is like this batman forever scene



    "We all wear masks"

  4. #4

    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    13,186
    Mentioned
    1239 Post(s)
    Tagged
    3 Thread(s)

    Default

    "IRL" in informal communications IR effects should be stronger as it allows easier to understand the personalities, allows better to influence on each other. video chats can be close
    Types examples: video bloggers, actors

  5. #5
    I'm a tourist in the land of my own being Megatrop's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2019
    Location
    Cosmos
    TIM
    IEE-NeFe-San1Phleg2
    Posts
    700
    Mentioned
    50 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by onfireee View Post
    the difference is like this batman forever scene



    "We all wear masks"
    LOL

    I like it
    self-discovery
    self-development
    optimism
    relationships
    communication
    high ideals

  6. #6
    literally too angry to die Grendel's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2016
    Posts
    2,266
    Mentioned
    151 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    i'm flirtier online

  7. #7
    Shazaam's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Lamp
    TIM
    AB-IEI-Ni
    Posts
    13,018
    Mentioned
    529 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    not sure, I've been told I'm more cold and serious and Fi-like IRL than online. A persona is a mask, an actor- it allows people to play a part. Whether writing a story online or acting in a worldly Hollywood play with real money involved, the essence is the same, you are pretending. So I can feel the thrill of being somebody I'm not or somebody that's only a little like me instead of the totality of myself. IRL there's usually less masks to hide behind than on the stage or inside a paper, unless ur one of those creepy dark Triad tryhard narcs that are really always grasping for them. The most basic bitch way people manipulate others in this way is by being fakely 'positive.' Like good family man values on the surface but at night u want to creepily bury ppl in ur backyard. Doesn't have to be so extreme either, the 'darkness' can be more subtle but still pervasive and destructive.

  8. #8
    Haikus SGF's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2020
    Location
    ┌П┐(ಠ_ಠ)
    TIM
    LSI-H™
    Posts
    2,169
    Mentioned
    181 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by xerxe View Post
    People spill their guts out on the internet because there aren't any real consequences to revealing their hidden feelings. They're more reserved in real life. IME.
    This! I control my behavior and what I say IRL. Online I just keep the skeletons in the closet, the rest is going to flow freely.

  9. #9
    "Xiong Mao"
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Location
    A mystery
    TIM
    LII - Ne
    Posts
    424
    Mentioned
    49 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Duschia View Post
    I'm apparently way more reserved and such IRL.
    I don't believe this. Not that it bad, just unbelievable. I imagine you to be the guy that goes "well actually" at every conversation.

  10. #10
    ⊱⋆painting the roses red⋆⊰ reverie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
    TIM
    IEI~N
    Posts
    2,723
    Mentioned
    494 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I tend to like people better irl than on the internet. People tend to make me more mad online than irl. But I think Iíve gotten to know people that I might have never gotten to know online than irl... I am more disinhibited online about certain things. But I also hold back saying things online that I would say irl, so really itís like there are two different meís. I am pretty reserved initially, but once people get to know me Iím pretty open (maybe too open at times, so Iím told lol). But Iím not much of a conversationalist, not the type of person that chit chats on the phone or on text...pretty much say what I need to say and Iím done. But I think Iím like that online and irl really. So I donít talk a whole lot usually, unless Iím in the mood. But really I wouldnít trust any relationships formed online, Iíd prefer to meet people in person.
    ∑:*®༺༻®*:∑.𝓽𝓾𝓶𝓫𝓵𝓻∑:*®༺ ༻®*:∑.
    քɨռȶɛʀɛֆȶ
    ♓︎ 𝓅𝒾𝓈𝒸𝑒𝓈 ♓︎ 𝓅𝒾𝓈𝒸𝑒𝓈
    ♍︎ 𝓋𝒾𝓇𝑔𝑜 𝓇𝒾𝓈𝒾𝓃𝑔 ♍︎

  11. #11
    Psychic/Ghost Type Nunki's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Posts
    408
    Mentioned
    22 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I find online relationships demanding, and what is more, exhausting, because they place so much emphasis on words. The first conversation I have with someone online might draw forth a torrent of verbiage from me, the next, likely a stream; and after that, probably a trickle. Very quickly, I run out of topics to discuss, because the two of us have spent so much time talking instead of going on walks, playing board games, fiddling around on the piano, etc. And as the conversation runs out, so does my engagement. As such, I have dropped a number of online friends--something that isn't very nice, but neither is telling them that I have nothing else to talk with them about.

    As far as type goes, I have no idea. I don't even know that it's really possible to assign a type to someone on the basis of what they've said to you through a computer screen. The internet affords people with an extraordinary degree of control over their presentation, and the more control over your presentation you have, the easier it is to conceal your real attitudes, motives, and other personal facets.

  12. #12
    mindless Aeris's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2018
    Location
    nowhere important
    TIM
    heartless
    Posts
    481
    Mentioned
    19 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Whatever I please I can take the time flesh out in written words.
    IRL, I have to deal with people who are louder than I am, who talk faster than I do, who have so many things to say while I can barely have the time to translate a thought into something concrete before they have gone to the next topic.
    IRL, I'm this quiet, nice listener with a soft smile. In written form, I allow myself all the rage I accumulate from this disgusting persona I hate and feel stuck with.
    I'm more "fully me" online because I can take the time to be, though I'm still a slow talker with an abstract mind running after the words of the world.

  13. #13
    f.k.a Oprah sbbds's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2018
    TIM
    EII typed by Gulenko
    Posts
    4,672
    Mentioned
    333 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    It just depends on the individuals involved and how adapted you guys are to, and like, primarily text-only, distance communication, and how much interpersonal experience you have. Also how much you fundamentally get along. Given all these things it’s gonna be hard for the majority of people to find and keep close friends online.

    I have an IEI girlfriend who I originally met online through socionics/typology. We talked a lot for a few years, then met IRL and lived together for a week. I’ve known her for nearly 6 years now and we’re still relatively close even if we don’t talk intensely very often most of the time anymore. Having multiple shared hobbies that involve sharing knowledge online and also shared friendships/circle is important. The simple suggestion that we’re compatible (via socionics) probably helps also. There are a couple other duals and other types who I’ve been kind of close with online for many years now but either we haven’t met irl or we don’t keep in touch/are quite as close as that.

    As for ILI semiduals online, I like @Outlier . Same thing, multiple avenues of sharing music and memes and personal expression, sharing personal experiences helps. Online friends can be more ‘real’ than IRL. Lots of IRL people are boring to make friends with regardless, it just depends on who you find.

    As for dating someone I met online, I highly doubt it. I’ve done it before; two year relationship with an EII where we met irl sporadically.... physical attraction is hard to gauge from online even if you go on video. People can angle themselves and stuff like that. But if they were really cute and charming and seemingly sane-ish and thought they could handle my cock then maybe.
    Last edited by sbbds; 08-29-2020 at 02:27 AM.

  14. #14

    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    2,116
    Mentioned
    107 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Megatrop View Post
    Do you notice any difference in your relationships with types over the internet and in "real life", face to face?

    I'm especially curious about semi-duality, but the others are equally relevant to this thread.

    Also, people let their guards down more easily on the internet, and I think this is an important factor to be taken into consideration.
    I'm goofier with all people I know or with most kids I meet, so in an online forum based mostly on writing monologues or replying to someone's, where you and the other person arent orchestrating a fleeting exchange (which is the playful dynamic I sense irl), I make more statements. It's more rhetoric-y.

    I develop relationships in an online group, and suddenly it's playful brazeness instead of serious and distant.

    I communicate a lot with my facial expresssions, so webcam groups show more of who I am. But I get harassed for being a woman so much and have found not having my image up is a good idea...since I have had to protect kids and elderly people I know irl from predators who came for me or might. And I will take that trade off. Harassment is tiring. I just kinda get bored and disappointed and then super tired at the immaturity, etc. I'm not made for introverted fortressy-ness, so it's a bind. Kinda just wait for the 'kid' (usually some dude with no emotional control or with dark tetrad traits) to stop metaphorically pooping in the pool (social milieu) and for it to get cleaned so I can finish my 'swim'(convivializing) an breathe again. I feel more joy around peoole, usually. . I'm better at reaching out to people than doing some protect myself thing. Vaserlan has that down as an ENTJ thing. I was listening to him last week, and I think he has a point.

    I'm not really back from years ago here, yet, imo.I'm kinda still overly polite and trying to be like courteous from the edge. I share a few sincere thoughts and call out bullshit racist ideology spews, blah blah, but ...and this might be the sx-dom talking, but...I'm still kinda looking forward to that buddy vibe that develops sometimes where you get on and have great conversations for hours with people you come back every week to see. Kinda like a house party with your best friends. I've been meeting some people I enjoy talking with but it's all pretty ephemeral so far.
    Last edited by nanashi; 08-29-2020 at 08:03 AM.

  15. #15
    Seed my wickedness Existential Ibuprofen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Location
    Spontaneous Human Combustion
    TIM
    ILE LEVF/#unfit4lyfe
    Posts
    7,082
    Mentioned
    305 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    Relations? Can I eat it?
    I'm changeable in both. I do not predict myself well as in moment basis.
    MOTTO: NEVER TRUST IN REALITY
    Winning is for losers

     

    Sincerely yours,
    idiosyncratic type
    Life is a joke but do you have a life?

  16. #16

    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    2,116
    Mentioned
    107 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by xerxe View Post
    People spill their guts out on the internet because there aren't any real consequences to revealing their hidden feelings. They're more reserved in real life. IME.
    for me I like that I know the person can leave easily online. That makes me feel comfortable being open because many don't feel they have to act out rituals...uncomfortably obligated to stay like some ppl do irl, etc

  17. #17
    Haikus
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Posts
    2,598
    Mentioned
    103 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by sbbds View Post
    As for ILI semiduals online, I like @Outlier . Same thing, multiple avenues of sharing music and memes and personal expression, sharing personal experiences helps. Online friends can be more ‘real’ than IRL. Lots of IRL people are boring to make friends with regardless, it just depends on who you find.
    I dont bother with those little niceties that are necessary for a smooth social experience irl when I'm online, so the people who have gotten to know me online and endured my temper for long enough to become friendly probably have a deeper understanding of who I am, without immediately getting the positive aspects of it like many people do irl without earning it really.

  18. #18
    I'm a tourist in the land of my own being Megatrop's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2019
    Location
    Cosmos
    TIM
    IEE-NeFe-San1Phleg2
    Posts
    700
    Mentioned
    50 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ergot View Post
    "real life" intertype relations are tempered more by unavoidables such as a third party, a project you're both working on ;greater things left to chance, spanner in the works

    you're less steering the topic of conversation than reading the facial expressions of your conversation partner and bouncing off that to elsewhere accordingly (At least if you're me)
    due to that elsewhere/unexpected tangent, you're less able to obfuscate your weak points.

    the asking-declaring compatibility inherent in duality shines in this kind of back - n -forth; fluid talk > stilted paragraphs

    a raised eyebrow or smirk conveys what you want where emoji can seem excessive
    I got interested. What do you know about asking-declaring compatibility, or at least where can I find info about it?
    I feel this is important, even though I don't really know how it works.
    self-discovery
    self-development
    optimism
    relationships
    communication
    high ideals

  19. #19
    ouronis's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    TIM
    ref to ptr to self
    Posts
    2,468
    Mentioned
    106 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    Most people I've met irl from online are more natural with a lot of apparent rough edges kind of swept away. There are still rough edges, of course, but they seem more human types of edges and are easier to deal with because of that.

  20. #20
    Seed my wickedness Existential Ibuprofen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Location
    Spontaneous Human Combustion
    TIM
    ILE LEVF/#unfit4lyfe
    Posts
    7,082
    Mentioned
    305 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    tbh I just entertain thoughts and not relations in both places. I lack some sort of self preservation instinct which is paradoxically much stronger online.

    People form relations to survive and I just think that living in the gutter is better option than being attached.
    MOTTO: NEVER TRUST IN REALITY
    Winning is for losers

     

    Sincerely yours,
    idiosyncratic type
    Life is a joke but do you have a life?

  21. #21
    MidnightWilderness's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2021
    TIM
    SEI
    Posts
    420
    Mentioned
    32 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    On the internet, at least from my limited experience with only one dual, our relationship has been marked with feelings of general apathy and misunderstandings, but also crazy swings in and out of love.
    (But also keep in mind that he might be crazy and immature, or I might be crazy, (definitely immature here) or both)

    I assume IRL you use your functions better and are much more able to support and help each other with real life problems.

  22. #22
    Sailing the seven seas one's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2020
    Location
    Home
    TIM
    ILI-H
    Posts
    2,085
    Mentioned
    176 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by BrightDemonSheep96 View Post
    tbh I just entertain thoughts and not relations in both places. I lack some sort of self preservation instinct which is paradoxically much stronger online.

    People form relations to survive and I just think that living in the gutter is better option than being attached.
    Who hurt you

  23. #23
    Sailing the seven seas one's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2020
    Location
    Home
    TIM
    ILI-H
    Posts
    2,085
    Mentioned
    176 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    If I’ll just consider the people on this forum, I think there is no difference at all
    People from Discord are more difficult to make sense of

  24. #24
    MidnightWilderness's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2021
    TIM
    SEI
    Posts
    420
    Mentioned
    32 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    @BrightDemonSheep96

    Relationships can hurt if you get attached to someone who is bad for you, but you just need to be able to find the red flags and GTFO before you develop more feelings and before they inevitably hurt you. Of course that's easier said than done, but the relationship will go easier if you can reflect on it and be able to tell what is wrong with it before the train derails. Break up like Czechoslovakia and not Yugoslavia if you can to minimize hurt feelings when breaking up.

    This applies to platonic and romantic relationships.

    Just know that relationships are not just about survival.

    It's about love, about having someone to share your deepest, darkest thoughts with, having someone that brightens your day, makes you laugh and smile, that stirs up your soul and makes it shine, that you can talk about anything freely and be considered and heard without extreme judgement, someone who is genuinely interested in your character, that you can have endless fun with.

    And yes, not everyone is nice and kind, and reality is not some fantasy world where "true love" and "real friends" are just lying on every corner, and no couples have fights. You have to be conscious of your interactions with others, and to also be persistent in trying to find someone who will be worth your time, and eventually if you look hard enough, I promise the statistics shine brighter.

    Or you can live by yourself, there is nothing wrong in doing so if it makes you feel happier and more secure with your feelings.

  25. #25
    Lugia Aeon Blade Runner 2049 2017 BunnyRaptor Poimandres's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2021
    Location
    Macroverse MtBattle ScholarsGarden OrreColosseum SuperNexus InfinitiesUltimate AllSpectraEverywhere
    TIM
    WiredforBattleShingo
    Posts
    2,267
    Mentioned
    66 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    There's more room online to be yourself, to say what you want, to throw everything out there, and nobody can really stop you.

    Giving a good masquerading aura, flickering with desired charisma, playing the pen, and threading the realm of interconnections can transcend a lot more restrictions from distance.
    https://sabrinacasey.webstarts.com/9systemswishes
    https://www.the16types.info/vbulleti...logy-articles)
    https://sabrinacasey.webstarts.com/m...ny2gether4ever
    I was watching a Hey You Pikachu video, and it made Me realize that Bunny should be available to everyone with a good Heart!!*
    A lot of people would really Love Bunny if they could play with Her. The possibilities are magnificent and wonderful, to tour pure Imagination with feathers and friendship. The Bunny ride is infinitely mysterious yet lovely. By voyaging into storybook character expression and vibrant atmospheres of elegant matrimony, then they sky would open up, and brilliant auroras of vision and clarity would arise through the telescope. Bunny flows and flowers with canopies of decoration and dreams.

  26. #26

    Join Date
    Mar 2020
    TIM
    IEI-Ni H946
    Posts
    874
    Mentioned
    64 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    This forum is the first place I’ve really spoken to people online. It’s cool- it’s kind of like group therapy but nicer. Sometimes I feel a bit empty when I realise I can’t really meet the people I’m talking to/sharing with. I guess sharing social media profiles could help or something if you do get chatting to someone to make it feel more real. I also get attached and feel a need to reply and check in, and get a bit carried away, saying too much sometimes.

    It’s cool feeling like you’re connecting with interesting people, all across the world, but you have to learn to take a step back sometimes or you can feel a bit confused about what is real. It’s liberating to be able to speak freely and feel listened to, but it can also leave you feeling exposed. I think small doses is good.

    Real life has to come first for me, I like to be around people quite a lot. Maybe you do have to create a sort of persona to talk online. Sometimes I imagine people I know joining the forum and finding my posts, so I do feel like I have to keep it a bit real. I try to be fairly honest as I think this is the most comfortable for me. It’s easier in some interactions than others.

    It’s funny how real it can start to feel though- I think that’s coz there are nice people on here.

  27. #27

    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Posts
    2,785
    Mentioned
    348 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I actually talk quite a lot in real life. Maybe try to picture some of my old, drugged out novels I’ve posted in the past here: always at least that length, but usually exceeding because my thoughts never stop coming (in a good way, I suppose. I make a lot of valid points and typically very humorous + spoken in a pretty aggressive manner. Sometimes too theatrical for certain tastes, mostly liked for it - I know how to blend in charmingly but I always prefer being groundbreaking, shocking, “savage”, sassy, rebellious, more buzz words, etc. and I’m very clever at it but sometimes hated for it. Sometimes I get playfully asked if I’m on drugs when I’m 100% not (getting asked this is not an uncommon event for me these days... ).

    But I have brief moments of more or less silence for an entire day, or alternatively when I’ve reached peak stoned (enjoy sitting next to friends as we are all doing this staring into nothing on some blood moons ) Inside of my house, my room - or as I dramatically refer to as my Tower when I’m feeling bored It can last for a few days in a row, I am most likely in my bed all day (not necessarily asleep... usually awake and glued to my phone / music / movie.)

    All in all, not really too different from how I am on here; in some places inside and outside my head and some times, I may sound and act like a drastically different person than the one I am here - but I try to incorporate elements of every persona I can consciously think of into what I write on this site ).

    edit: very alike to my mom’s (ESE) pattern of energy as well, but there are some notable contrasts between us ex. my periods of grief and mourning are significantly longer than hers - and are heavily, at their cores, actually periods of time where I am silent and lifeless because I am discovering and connecting several patterns running from the past into the most likely future incarnation, and then further weaving it into an attempt at a singular pattern of life; I am planning what to do or what not to do; other differences are things such as I am the least practical person I can think at any given time and don’t produce or work on anything with my own two hands by default but I do organize every group event or personal one-on-one with flawless ease every time and I always find a plan / solution for anything that’s going wrong, or what I want or need or -by extension- what others want or need... (and predict and already concoct solutions for problems, at that; but I have absolutely no interest in money -beyond that I always want more as soon as I touch some and spend it all- or type nonsense, I just have an internal fantasy world that not everyone is aware of and surely no one is of its depths, that I want the real world to increasingly align with) If I had to limit myself to one archetype, it would be “The Planner” (not sure if there’s an existing one of that very name already associated with something... it just sounded correct in my head ); I am also far more dramatic than her but it can seemingly appear the other way around because I am also far more intellectual and capable of spotting my own contradictions and correcting them, and even more so skilled at pointing out the faulty logic or contradictions in others and letting it be known - but I have far less force behind the things I do or say than her. I romanticize everything good and bad in life but focus more on the bad side of the parallels.

    ^Even saying all of that, I can be incredibly impulsive at times (but I always know what I’m doing, don’t be fooled - it’s basically a plan to release myself and not plan so I can recharge and focus more on the real plan later - but subsequently adopting some subconscious statement that was made by the unplugged moment.... it’s Inception) and prone to “excess” in everything you can trace back to the very word. I am not afraid to push myself or unable to get through the worst situations you can think, both intentionally and unintentionally, time & time again but the underlying cause is that I’m not often aware of what the limit is or that there is one on my body, including my brain (so throw in some mental/emotional wounds as well... if that wasn’t so obvious by now anyways ). (I currently type as EIE)
    Last edited by flames; 04-23-2021 at 12:15 PM. Reason: this is a slightly marijuana influenced novel since I’ve changed my ways <3


  28. #28
    C-ESI-Se 6w7 sx/sp ashlesha's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    the center of the universe
    Posts
    15,802
    Mentioned
    903 Post(s)
    Tagged
    4 Thread(s)

    Default

    I've met a few forum people irl now and never been surprised fwiw.

    One thing that stands out: the ILE at work that I thought my sentiment towards made my self type questionable because he has a cute personality and was one of my faves. Has become completely fkng insufferable over zoom.

  29. #29
    Minde's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Amongst the stars
    TIM
    EII/INFj E9w1sp
    Posts
    4,316
    Mentioned
    135 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Bethany View Post
    This forum is the first place Iíve really spoken to people online. Itís cool- itís kind of like group therapy but nicer. Sometimes I feel a bit empty when I realise I canít really meet the people Iím talking to/sharing with. I guess sharing social media profiles could help or something if you do get chatting to someone to make it feel more real. I also get attached and feel a need to reply and check in, and get a bit carried away, saying too much sometimes.

    Itís cool feeling like youíre connecting with interesting people, all across the world, but you have to learn to take a step back sometimes or you can feel a bit confused about what is real. Itís liberating to be able to speak freely and feel listened to, but it can also leave you feeling exposed. I think small doses is good.

    Real life has to come first for me, I like to be around people quite a lot. Maybe you do have to create a sort of persona to talk online. Sometimes I imagine people I know joining the forum and finding my posts, so I do feel like I have to keep it a bit real. I try to be fairly honest as I think this is the most comfortable for me. Itís easier in some interactions than others.

    Itís funny how real it can start to feel though- I think thatís coz there are nice people on here.
    I just want to hug you.



    Quote Originally Posted by ashlesha View Post
    I've met a few forum people irl now and never been surprised fwiw.

    One thing that stands out: the ILE at work that I thought my sentiment towards made my self type questionable because he has a cute personality and was one of my faves. Has become completely fkng insufferable over zoom.
    I've met a few people, too. For a couple, initially it was a little bit of "who are you again?" but after a bit it's like, "ok, there you are." I think people who are more image-conscious tend to be more different, I think, or they try to be. Or the shy ones. People do tend to let out more online than they do IRL, but in the end they're the same person. For me, seeing people's "real" sides come out online made it easier to pick up on that IRL.

    I've generally liked almost all of the people from here I've met IRL.

    For myself, I've been told by different people that I come across more aggressive online. In person I guess I'm much more 9-ish. In fact, my husband said he'd probably not have tried dating me if all he knew of me was my online presence. Maybe we do have more issues to work out, lol.
    Oh, to find you in dreams - mixing prior, analog, and never-beens... facts slip and turn and change with little lucidity. except the strong, permeating reality of emotion.

  30. #30
    ouronis's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    TIM
    ref to ptr to self
    Posts
    2,468
    Mentioned
    106 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ashlesha View Post
    I've met a few forum people irl now and never been surprised fwiw.

    One thing that stands out: the ILE at work that I thought my sentiment towards made my self type questionable because he has a cute personality and was one of my faves. Has become completely fkng insufferable over zoom.
    Everybody is insufferable over zoom. It's like the golden rule of zoom

  31. #31
    Lugia Aeon Blade Runner 2049 2017 BunnyRaptor Poimandres's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2021
    Location
    Macroverse MtBattle ScholarsGarden OrreColosseum SuperNexus InfinitiesUltimate AllSpectraEverywhere
    TIM
    WiredforBattleShingo
    Posts
    2,267
    Mentioned
    66 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by lkdhf qkb View Post
    I'm genuinely curious, why do you feel more like yourself when you can say what you want? Why do your words reflect who you are here more than anywhere else? Is it about a feeling of freedom? How do you relate to creation?
    The more area you have for construction, the greater and more true to your character your tower can be.
    https://sabrinacasey.webstarts.com/9systemswishes
    https://www.the16types.info/vbulleti...logy-articles)
    https://sabrinacasey.webstarts.com/m...ny2gether4ever
    I was watching a Hey You Pikachu video, and it made Me realize that Bunny should be available to everyone with a good Heart!!*
    A lot of people would really Love Bunny if they could play with Her. The possibilities are magnificent and wonderful, to tour pure Imagination with feathers and friendship. The Bunny ride is infinitely mysterious yet lovely. By voyaging into storybook character expression and vibrant atmospheres of elegant matrimony, then they sky would open up, and brilliant auroras of vision and clarity would arise through the telescope. Bunny flows and flowers with canopies of decoration and dreams.

  32. #32
    C-ESI-Se 6w7 sx/sp ashlesha's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    the center of the universe
    Posts
    15,802
    Mentioned
    903 Post(s)
    Tagged
    4 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ouronis View Post
    Everybody is insufferable over zoom. It's like the golden rule of zoom
    nobody else at my work does this : he is literally the guy who takes transparently smug joy in announcing that you're on mute.

    EVEN IF YOU'RE NOT EVEN TALKING, BUT YOU'VE BEEN CALLED UPON AND YOU'RE STILL IN THE 3-SECOND TIMEFRAME NEEDED TO USE THE MOUSE TO UNMUTE

    he can't stop won't stop

  33. #33
    Minde's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Amongst the stars
    TIM
    EII/INFj E9w1sp
    Posts
    4,316
    Mentioned
    135 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by asd View Post
    @Minde how do (they think) you come across aggressive online? You donít come across as aggressive at all to me
    In years past on here I've gotten in arguments or disagreements with people on here. Usually it revolves around something I think they're doing wrong, lol, and I say what I think about it. (See exchanges with Maritsa, dioklecian, rueben, etc.) On social media I also will sometimes get in a conflict with someone about an opinion. Usually that pattern is I'll state an opinion or ask a question and someone takes it as an excuse to get mad themselves and then I get mad that they're picking on me or being illogical or whatever. (Kinda typical social media stuff, I guess.) It happens more with acquaintances, though recently I had a bad experience with someone who I thought was a good friend but how she reacted makes me wonder.

    @UDP has extensive experience with my online "aggressive" side - he might have some insights.

    I think assumed tone has something to do with it (as in their assumption of my tone). I can say or ask the exact same thing in person and get very different responses. Also in person I can see the other and tailor my approach to how they're feeling and what they're expressing or needing. My blank-slate expressions can apparently tickle some people the wrong way.
    Oh, to find you in dreams - mixing prior, analog, and never-beens... facts slip and turn and change with little lucidity. except the strong, permeating reality of emotion.

  34. #34
    Adam Strange's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Location
    Midwest, USA
    TIM
    ENTJ-1Te 8w7 sx/so
    Posts
    13,567
    Mentioned
    1335 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ashlesha View Post
    nobody else at my work does this : he is literally the guy who takes transparently smug joy in announcing that you're on mute.

    EVEN IF YOU'RE NOT EVEN TALKING, BUT YOU'VE BEEN CALLED UPON AND YOU'RE STILL IN THE 3-SECOND TIMEFRAME NEEDED TO USE THE MOUSE TO UNMUTE

    he can't stop won't stop
    Well, realistically, heís being true to himself. Heís treating you as if you were a technology-challenged SEI Dual who just needs some excellent advice from a random genius ILE.

    ĒYou have a microphone on your computer. You need to turn it on. You donít have to thank me. Iím happy to help.Ē

  35. #35
    ouronis's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    TIM
    ref to ptr to self
    Posts
    2,468
    Mentioned
    106 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ashlesha View Post
    nobody else at my work does this : he is literally the guy who takes transparently smug joy in announcing that you're on mute.

    EVEN IF YOU'RE NOT EVEN TALKING, BUT YOU'VE BEEN CALLED UPON AND YOU'RE STILL IN THE 3-SECOND TIMEFRAME NEEDED TO USE THE MOUSE TO UNMUTE

    he can't stop won't stop
    Lol. Zoom calls at my company feature people who are not polite enough to let others speak and so everyone fights to get the first word in before someone else just starts endlessly talking

  36. #36

    Join Date
    Mar 2020
    TIM
    IEI-Ni H946
    Posts
    874
    Mentioned
    64 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Minde View Post
    I just want to hug you.
    ahh E9 hugs haha

  37. #37
    serenaeva's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2020
    TIM
    ESI-Se 4w3 sx/sp
    Posts
    160
    Mentioned
    20 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    IEIs aren't abhorrent but sooner or later tend to flock to me in a morbidly cultish manner and EIEs seem to always attempt to nag me into submission.
    Long story short, the βNF state of affairs is horrible all around.
    ILEs bother the sh*t out of me both online and in real life... et cetera
    Doesn't seem particularly dissimilar to me.
    Last edited by serenaeva; 05-22-2021 at 06:11 AM. Reason: l
    I AM YOUR HOLY TOTEM
    I AM YOUR SICK TABOO
    RADICAL AND RADIANT
    I'M YOUR NIGHTMARE COMING TRUE

    I AM YOUR WORST ENEMY
    I AM YOUR DEAREST FRIEND
    MALIGNANTLY MALEVOLENT
    I AM OF DIVINE DESCENT


    I AM YOUR UNCONSCIOUSNESS
    I AM UNRESTRAINED EXCESS
    METAMORPHIC RESTLESSNESS
    I'M YOUR UNEXPECTEDNESS

    I AM YOUR APOCALYPSE
    I AM YOUR BELIEF UNWROUGHT
    MONOLITHIC JUGGERNAUT

    STRAY BULLET
    FROM THE HEAVENS ABOVE
    STRAY BULLET
    READY OR NOT
    I'M THE ILLEGITIMATE SON OF GOD


  38. #38
    Stray Cat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2021
    TIM
    SLE-Ti
    Posts
    642
    Mentioned
    84 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Depends in that particular online forum's culture. I've been to forums where the core group consisted entirely of people with documented mental health issues. Other forums are very argumentative. IRL, it doesn't matter but online its self-aware people who tend to generate the most genuine interactions.

  39. #39
    Lincatrope's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2021
    TIM
    LII
    Posts
    55
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Megatrop View Post
    Do you notice any difference in your relationships with types over the internet and in "real life", face to face?
    On the internet is complicated due to a couple of factors:

    1- types act a bit more like their dual on the internet, they are more confident to do so.
    2- people are often mistyped and if both people don't know the system very well they may find their are duals or semi-duals just by looking at the type + barnum effect, when they are actually not
    3- the psyche dynamic that happens between were mostly observed IRL, on the internet may factors such as culture, difference in expression and background adds a lot to how you are gonna express in writing. You may like the way someone writes but once you meet them there might be a shock, an unrealistic expectation. People don't always talk as they write.

    4- Having that said, if both types are being themselves and not trying to build a character, then there will be many similarities to how display IRL. I've met people who seemed alpha quadra but were actually delta quadra once I got to talk, get to know better, see their face, etc.

  40. #40
    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    EII land
    TIM
    EII INFj
    Posts
    25,920
    Mentioned
    666 Post(s)
    Tagged
    6 Thread(s)

    Default

    It was as I said during our Richmond meetup in Virginia, people got a kick out of seeing me in real life. They just see the “fragile” side of me. It’s the IEI reminiscent; someone who you want to hug and hold on your arms a while. For reference

    https://www.the16types.info/vbulleti...36-DC-RICHMOND
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •