IME Aggressor guys seem like they’re proactive and cooperative in relationships, but they actually are more towards the physically passive side when it comes to “Se”, unless they have actual problems. Non-Se ego type guys have been way more physically aggressive from what I’ve seen both with myself and with other women. Se in ego means they’re more conscious and in control of it. Ni and Ne egos are much less in control of themselves, even Si leads/egos sometimes.

I think I will agree with OP though that caretaker guy approach in irl seems the most idealized in society. Pass on that from me though, I’m not gonna have a guy put me in diapers and try to change them for me.