Spotting the types on dating apps!
We talk a lot about duality and type spotting from the perspective of meeting people in person - what to expect from them, how they look, etc. - which is something that can't really happen now due to a pandemic.
I'm curious - in this time of quarantine (and also just in general), what are ways that you use to spot and distinguish types on dating apps like Tinder, etc? What are your tips and tricks to distinguish quadras & quasi-identicals??
I just look at them.
Dude, this exactly what Jung referred as Ni - immediate surface impressions aka crude Se.Originally Posted by Adam Strange
MOTTO: NEVER TRUST IN REALITY
Winning is for losers
Sincerely yours,
idiosyncratic type
Life is a joke but do you have a life?
Joinif you dare https://matrix.to/#/#The16Types:matrix.org
l.
I didn't know this was ever mentioned. cool
I like the profile pics. My buddy was using tinder and said it was an app that allowed you to pick ppl based off of looks. we got into this discussion where I was saying how someone looks, but not beauty, etc, is important to me...like how they inhabit their body..etc, and that was why I liked photos...having data...trying to read them.
Se is about objectively seen physical traits alike the color of hears, evaluations of physical force and of the will. Ni is about inner associations, about links between you and other human, dreams about time related alike how relations may go.
I look at their hobbies and interests, overall appearance, but most importantly, I straight up ask them questions that will help me determine... I may have even asked a couple people to take a test o.O
This pandemic is a fake about another virus similar to season flu. 25% of Moscow region got this virus and the number of death is comparable with a year ago. Some countries as Belorussia and seems Sweeden have spited on that nonscientific idiocy and have no serious problems. At least to now moment it's so, as USA may spread another viruses from their labs to oppose to China and other "developing" and to arise social inequality in the world. There are no limitations to meet people in many places at now and before not many ones followed them.
> what are ways that you use to spot and distinguish types on dating apps like Tinder
Will not say about Tinder or apps. In social sites as FB and VK there are many photos which are useful to suppose types and to check "relations" status. Also what people write, their interests mb useful too. All "tips and tricks" are in common Socionics texts. For VI and behavior analysis it's enough. Also types examples may help.
The main possibility is public places where you may see and talk IRL. For those who are young there is a variety of close ages and without "married with kids" limits.
Russian stats are unreliable because Putin has to look good
It seems suspect, your statement that five hundred muscovites a day were dying of standard influenza last year in December. That's what Covid-19's stripping away from your ranks right now.
I did find a National Institute of Health paper talking about 90 people dying across all of Russia, if I understood correctly, over an ENTIRE flu season in 2017.
How is there time to spot people’s types when you’re frantically swiping “yes” to everyone in your region?
I wouldn't trust type determination in any scenario where behaviour, perspectives and or looks can be prepared, rehearsed and or edited.
a.k.a. I/O
Umm maybe figure out what enneagram type you are attracted to for your dual (I def prefer ESTP 7s for example over 3s and 8s and I think 7s prefer me too) and perhaps which instinctual stacking you like too. I started off trying to look for ESTPs based on interests and VI and I did find some but I just didn't feel attracted to them. Then I learnt about instinct stackings and had that in mind when looking and got talking to someone who I thought was an ESTP 7. Turns out he was ESTJ..but now I seem to be getting matches with people I like the look of more, including (I think) some ESTPs. We shall see haha.
Enneagram stuff can be handy in narrowing down what socionics type someone is. Also, just matching with people you like the look of..even if you know they're not your dual..there might be something about them that's similar to your dual and then the algorithms will bring up more people like them, and maybe some duals. Sorry if that actually makes it seem even harder haha.
Also, I feel like having my instagram (with melodramatic IEI captions) connected to my profile might get me a bit more attention too LOL. And clearly state your interests. I am so/sx 9 and I love raving- I think there will be some ESTP 7s out there who love raving tooI think these are helping..
you have to chat with them for awhile. I was able to type people online a long time ago even when I was fairly new to socionics. I remember one girl I typed ESI but when I met her it turned out she was a shy SEE, but close enough. Another time I chatted with a girl and we talked about old photographs, and I said that they are "so nostalgic", and then she replied that "if you haven't experienced it yourself it is maybe not the right concept to use "nostalgic". Well, I typed her ILI and when we met - she was ILI.
you talk and you'll figure it out.
what do you mean distinguish quadras & quasi-identicals. ???
The decisive thing is not the reality of the object, but the reality of the subjective factor, i.e. the primordial images, which in their totality represent a psychic mirror-world. It is a mirror, however, with the peculiar capacity of representing the present contents of consciousness not in their known and customary form but in a certain sense sub specie aeternitatis, somewhat as a million-year old consciousness might see them.
(Jung on Si)
Bump.
You’d think SEE would be easy to spot. I’ve had no luck
from what I’ve heard (from
See mate/sister) they like to talk a lot to someone on an app before meeting..a lot of chat! Sometimes for months..
Last edited by Bethanyclaire; 09-02-2020 at 04:03 PM.
how do you spot LSIs?
I tried this when I was on dating apps and what I tried to do - rather than trying to VI duals - is make my profile as authentically enticing to a dual as possible.
So I looked at what about my type is really present in me, specifically around what a dual would look for and what a conflictor would hate. For example I always say that I'm enthusiastic, ethical, ambitious and emotional (but with more pizzazz than that obviously). Then I would put something I thought an aggressor would respond to like a dare or a challenge. Finally, I'd try and authentically find what I was looking for in a dual, what appealed to me in a dual, and either write something about that on my profile or look for it in the people I was talking to.
This way you don't reduce yourself to a stereotype or reduce other people to stereotypes ("he's doing action sports in pictures so he's probably Se"). You can use pictures / examples to demonstrate your ego functions rather than just listing them too. This sounds super intense but is generally how I approached it. I think after doing this I met up with three guys - none of them duals but all Ti types - LII (semi-dual and the best of the bunch), ILE and SLE.
"I take back like half of the exclamation points.....they make me look....eager to please. Which I AM....but I don't want anyone to KNOW that"
- Carrie Fisher
Sle on dating apps seem cold at first/speak in quite a direct way. Like to show off knowledge about stuff too-mention books they’ve read for example..
Can we expand on this? I'd love to do more SLE type spotting since they're my dual haha
It’s pretty difficult tbh. I think the SLEs I’ve spoken to have approached me first on the apps. Not many..but I usually have a quite interesting conversation with them- a convo that gets me thinking..in a comfortable way. Soz for vagueness. Once I found a guy coz he looked like another sle I knew.
the really cute SLEs I’ve met in real life have these adorable kinda squishy looking faces like a smudge, with eyes a bit like Robert Pattinson eyes haha. This is no help for apps (there is lots of variety of course) but just something I remember fondly haha. also sometimes wonky eyes..
I also have the wonky eyes lol
Last edited by Bethanyclaire; 09-04-2020 at 03:38 PM.
Serious and none is apparent
-
Dual type(as per tcaudilllg)
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
Ok, I got better at this. Here's what I've been doing
Step one:
I ask myself "Am I attracted to this person physically?" Because dual or not, it won't work if the answer is no
Step two:
The bio. Can be hit or miss but sometimes it gives me an idea of what the person is about. For SEE, I look for hella social media promo, YOLO rhetoric, and I can usually tell if someone is intuitive (especially Ne) based on what they put in there. Then again SEEs are known to parrot shit other people say to look smart or insightful, whatever. So I keep an open mind.
Step three, but sometimes two:
I VI the photos as best I can. Is this person dressed for comfort like an Si user? (Tasteful, understated, comfort for the high Si, disheveled/mismatched/quirky for the low Si)
Or is this person dressed to impress like an Se user? (bright colors, flashy, eccentric outfits, graphic tees) (Effortless and well put together like high Se, or basic, lackluster, forced, or inconsistent though dressed with more consideration than childlike si, like low Se)
Does this person have on a flannel shirt? Instant left swipe. I avoid my benefactor like the plague.
If all else fails, but I'm physically attracted to them, I'll just match with them and observe how they talk to me. SEEs are not afraid to use innuendo and be borderline crass. They also use popular slang more often than Si users, especially SJs. They come across as energetic, use emojis, give compliments, and I don't feel the need to carry the conversation. I can give one word replies and they will move the conversation along for me (what a relief).
The more you match with and speak to, the more familiar they become.
And smile. ESFP have the brightest smiles
Dual type
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
hey, I would never wear a plaid shirt
I definitely need someone who can move the conversation along while giving one word answers
You have to look for the large steel cages in the background of their profile pictures. Or the prison cell bars, either one.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f2p0vqWqxHY
good question...
to be honest, I have no idea. I don't really meet a lot of people like me, but I'd agree that dating apps are generally not our thing.
I honestly don't know where to find Betas in general. It seems like everything in real life is built with Deltas in mind.
Theres nothing more awkward than ghosting someone in the middle of a conversation, because I was mistaken about their Socionics type.
Ah this is my life. I feel bad about it but also grateful that I have socionics as some sort of guide. Feel like I’m getting better at spotting types in the quadra from a bit of convo..and I think I can now differentiate between esfp and estp quickly. Talking to people on apps has def helped me learn more about the types/got me reading up more. I feel like I’m kinda starting to be able to spot people’s enneagram (even tritype) from their pics/convo..(sometimes) which is helpful in figuring out the sociotype/ sussing them out :s
I feel like I was a nice person all the way up until I started using dating apps. Yucky places! But during Covid at least everyone is kinda grateful for them. It’s a good time to try to meet people when there’s nothing else to do and it’s the only way how.
ok..has anyone ever told someone about socionics via message on a dating app? To get someone's attention/ to try to find out if they're a dual..people must have done it right? but is it ethical/ do people even care about socionics/ does it come across as crazy haha
One of the prompts on OKCupid is "the most private thing you're willing to admit." I'm still waffling over adding my interest in typing systems to that, as a tongue-in-cheek "at least I won't ask you when you were born" sort of thing.
Say that you like to wear men's shirts because they are easier to button. An LSE would love that. One, he gets to imagine you buttoning your shirt. He might even know why men's shirts are easier to button and he can't wait to tell you why they are. Two, he might think he could save money on shirts if you could wear his. Three, if that's the most risque thing you can think of, then you're not likely to embarrass him when he introduces you to his mother.
Oh now this is clever & I'm trying it. That's already more risque than anything else I've put on a dating profile!
Dating online is such a wild gamble. Too little reveal and you’re boring. Too much and you’re a slut. No matter what you write, you’re going to seem to be one or the other to different audiences, even from the same post. It can get extremely tiring to try to present just the right amount of reveal to be interesting but not crazy. Sometimes I just get tired of trying.
I’ve been on Match for four or five years and I’ve met three or four women, and only one seems even remotely compatible. There just is no substitute for evaluating someone in person for real interest.
I can see a woman who is attractive and I’ll write up something to her that is carefully crafted to sound intelligent and funny and walks that fine line between being interested in her as a person but not as my next victim. And in return, I get.......nothing. Not a word.
I try to stay optimistic, but sometimes I reach a point where I’m just too tired to care what they think. At times like these, I try to close the app and step away for a while to regain my strength (writing intros is hard work), but I don’t always succeed.
For example, yesterday I ran across a woman who was smart (graduate degree), thin, super-attractive, lives near me, is a Dual, and is conservative. I’m extremely liberal, so a relationship would have to ignore that difference and that’s just about impossible.
Anyway, I was bored and tired and I thought, “What the hell. I’ll message her and if she responds, great, I’ll see where this goes and if she doesn’t, then nothing lost.”
In one of her pictures, she shows herself aiming a long rifle off her back deck. Maybes the neighbors keep throwing dead cats into her yard, who knows? But she looks terrific and she’s an ESI Aggressor subconsciously looking for a Victim (know your audience), so I wrote to her and said that she had a good face and I was impressed by her degree but I only own a .22 and her gun looks bigger than mine. Lol.
As an ESI, she might like that. As a conservative, traditional woman, she would hate that statement. But you know, sometimes you just DGAF.
We’ll see if she replies. I’m not holding my breath.
I do think it would come across as crazy. You'd have to have some real tact and people skills to bring it up naturally, at least in my opinion.
The only people I ever see who are into these things, especially the enneagram, are high on the crazy scale. I once saw an ad on craigslist by a "empowered christian woman ENTJ entrepreneur looking for a roommate who can also be an administrative assistant for 12/h". I wonder how that went.
Haha. Enneagram has a weird rep doesn’t it. I don’t think anyone knows about it in the Uk. They know a little about mbti.
Although I think an Irish lady may have tried to tell me about the enneagram once on a plane. She was a sweet lady.
Last edited by Bethanyclaire; 12-16-2020 at 08:32 AM.
This is NOT a dating site - obviously we have Socionics.com for that.
With a few exceptions over the years, I don't get the impression that this forum is used for such purposes. Maybe people prefer Facebook.
I actually think it would probably be a bad idea to have a Socionics dating service here although it might seem like a logical step. It would probably be better to focus on finding people who share your hobbies and tastes, as well as boring things like political and religious inclinations.
You know, the more I think about it, the more I realize that I have absolutely no idea how to approach women.
Last edited by Adam Strange; 12-27-2020 at 03:34 PM.
@Adam Strange " but not as my next victim" ?
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