Hi, @
yuucifer.
I’m LIE-Te, and I was married for many years to an SLI-Ti, who was the same type as my father, and is also my Supervisor.
Supervision is one-sided Conflict, but when you grow up with it, you suppress yourself and come to see that kind of bad relationship as being normal.
If you had asked me, when I was married, if I was happy, I’d have said that I was the happiest person in the world.
After she left, and I divorced her, and I got free of her Delta influence, my income doubled in the first year of my bachelorhood, because I no longer had someone throwing cinder blocks in front of my run, whom I thought should be on my side.
When I got divorced, I had been looking at Socionics as an explanation for why my marriage broke up, since she and I were otherwise a perfect match on paper, requiring only each of us to suppress our natural expectations to make it work.
I had also been working with a female married EII secretary for about six years. We went out to lunch together, and man, I could take that woman anywhere.
She was thin, dressed perfectly, was demure and lady-like, was funny, was smart, and she liked me a lot.
Eventually, both she and I got divorced around the same time. And we started going out for dinner, too, and she started dropping hints that she wanted more that just dinner.
If I hadn’t known about Socionics, I’d have married her.
However, I do know about Socionics, and as it predicts, the EII and I have a lot of respect, affection, and admiration for each other, but
1. We can’t motivate each other. My duals can motivate me, and I can motivate them. Not so with semi-Duals.
2. She’s an Infantile and it shows. I need an Aggressor. Her name is Susan, but she calls herself Susie, and I called her Susan for the longest time out of misplaced respect before I understood that she WANTS to be called Susie, like a little girl.
Well, I don’t need a little girl. I need an equal partner.
I’ve been doing field experiments with every introvert in the Socion, and what I’ve found is that the Socionics inter-type predictions are all true, and the inter-type relationships do not change with time or age. For example, I had a 22 year old ESI tell me, seriously and practically, that she wanted us to get an apartment to live in, because she was "tired of paying rent." I told her that nothing is free. She replied, "So, yes?". I was older than her father, whom I knew.
I completely understand your aversion to ESIs. They are really different from LIEs, and the ESI-Se have a lot of hangups from trying to reconcile low Te and the social expectations for males, while being introverted Aggressors. My god, that results in a very twisty person. They seem to think about sex ALL THE TIME, and yet, they are too moral and introverted to come out and say what they want.
I've dated a few female ESI-Se's and they all seem to have screwed up attitudes about sex. I think of sex in direct, practical terms, but they do not. Not really.
I, personally, am now tending towards ESI-Fis, since they seem to be a bit less crazy than the ESI-Ses, but I haven’t yet found one who meets my standards and lives nearby and is looking to have a man in her life.
I do believe that you can make any relationship work. You can marry your Conflictor and make it work. You can marry your Quasi-Identical and not murder them. But if you do, you are going to have to make some serious compromises in what you expect to get from the relationship, and you WILL NEVER get them to change in those areas.
I’ve decided that I’m not going to compromise on Duality. I am willing to give up a lot of other stuff, but not that.