How to spot an SLE

[chocolatte]

Maybe, maybe not inspired from the IEI-Fe thread.
It would be really cool if you could do it with subtypes too.


There's an SLE I've known (not on a personal basis) for many years, and I used to faintly admire her, but for some reason I simply never thought about her type and realized she's an SLE before recently. I've been told she's somewhat interested in me. apparently I am "socially interesting" because when she talks with me it's engaging and I actually have a personality, whatever that means for her. when i heard that I was surprised because the one time we did talk more personally I thought she was bored out of her mind. apparently she doesn't know how to approach me. neither of us know how to bridge the gap I guess.
I'm going to maybe ask my ILE friend who's close with her if she can organize something with the 3 of us this summer. I keep forgetting to do it though.. or procrastinating.

Anyway, my one experience with duality was all the way back in middle school when I was best friends with an SLE. One day her mom brought her to my house and my mom told us "play" and that was that. now that I'm older it's a bit more complicated, lol.
Although at the time I complained to my diary she was selfish and spoiled (never "mean", hm) and at the time my mom commented that she was always very possessive of me, once I moved away I always missed her very much. Now, I complain that I have nobody who actually forces me to do stupid stuff with them anymore. I bet she loved that I'd always play whatever random game she thought of. Seriously, it was just, Her: hey, we're doing this Me: ok. I've never been as physically fit again as I was when I was friends with her.
Paraphrase from my diary: "she told me I'm a really good friend, but I don't understand why she thinks that because I'm so boring." I think she just liked having a companion with whom there was no drama. After I left her mom said that she had trouble fitting in with the other girls who just wanted to talk and gossip. She was always just vibrating to go do something. Sidenote, definitely a pronounced Se-subtype (going by memory). Ah, I'm being sentimental and missing her again.


Back to the subject. my hypothesis is that I confuse EIE with SLE (again, we're talking from at a distance, because do I actually go up to people and talk to them, particularly if they're extroverted and confident? of course not.)

Yahhh so how do you spot an SLE? Particularly male because I may or may not want to kidnap one for myself (jk I'll just stay in my cave until the end of time)
In all seriousness, I'm mostly asking just for food for thought because I'm mostly stuck at home right now anyways. and have only been socializing like once a week (sometimes twice!!!) with the same 7 people.



PS I put the glasses post icon because it's supposed to be the Super-Glasses That See People's Type

[silke]

Back to the subject. my hypothesis is that I confuse EIE with SLE (again, we're talking from at a distance, because do I actually go up to people and talk to them, particularly if they're extroverted and confident? of course not.)

Yahhh so how do you spot an SLE?

Same reply as to the other thread- you could start by watching videos of SLEs and then perhaps spotting people who look/act the same irl. Though spotting extraverts it's the problem. For dualization there has to be some kind of an experience, some sort of a story, that goes beyond just acknowledging each other's existence.

[shotgunfingers]

Now, I complain that I have nobody who actually forces me to do stupid stuff with them anymore. I bet she loved that I'd always play whatever random game she thought of. Seriously, it was just, Her: hey, we're doing this Me: ok. I've never been as physically fit again as I was when I was friends with her.

That sounds gr8 tbh. I wish there was someone like that in my life.

[Tallmo]

It's just an ongoing project comparing people and sorting out the types. That's what it's all about. Impossible to give full advice on how to spot a SLE because you have to learn to distinguish them from all other types. Meet people of all types, watch videos of all types

The Se can be very easy to spot. Direct contact with the environment, a physical presence that's hard to describe. With SEEs you often notice the Te mobilizing, like they can seem very into Te, so that's one way of telling SLE and SEE apart. I just met a SEE yesterday (a dance teacher, how typical) and it was the Te that made me decide on SEE

[Surreal]

@silke @Tallmo
It can be really hard to find accurate videos when you have no idea what traits to look for. A lot of the commonly typed examples can turn out to be false as time progresses.

[Disturbed]

I wish I could describe it, but SLE-Ti that I meet are one of the easiest types to recognize as SLE-Ti. I don't know why but I can almost always tell who is an SLE-Ti like as soon as i meet them, they're rarely all that different from each other (and I know they hate that I think that, I'm sorry) which is a good thing since they're one of my favorite types (rarely, you'll find one that is highly unique, for example, my 3 best friends I hung around with most before I started high school were 3 SLE-Ti who really stood out, one stood out because of his pre-20 years old need to think independently, to almost never trust anyone else's minds, opinions, abilities, whatever anyone else had to say under any circumstance and the few times he did trust anyone else's thoughts or abilities he denied it, the other because he loved art and wanted to be creative so much and he was, and the third probably because he had autism spectrum disorder combined with being desperate for sex and extreme desire to be loved, which were never not apparent to me at all; if anything, his ASD made it so he had no clue what he was doing in attempts to get those things were considered inappropriate by most people.) ILE-Ti don't vary a great deal from each other either, but they vary more from each other than SLE-Ti vary from each other.

[Tallmo]

@chocolatte

Here you have a SLE C subtype. I met him today. He is a dance teacher, together with his IEI gf.

[shotgunfingers]

@chocolatte

Here you have a SLE C subtype. I met him today. He is a dance teacher, together with his IEI gf.

The guy has this weird video dancing at a fire alone in the woods.. wtf moment. Seems like a fun person.

[Tallmo]

The guy has this weird video dancing at a fire alone in the woods.. wtf moment. Seems like a fun person.

Are you sure that's him? The account is another person.

Here is a video where he (SLE) dances with his IEI partner. They teach dance together.

They are also a Harmonizing - Creative couple, as far as I can tell.

He is known for his very physical and fun teaching. He is indeed a fun guy.

[Itsme]

Those two are SLE-IEI dyad too, aren't they?

[shotgunfingers]

*Laugs in SLE*

[valhalla]

Are you sure that's him? The account is another person.

Here is a video where he (SLE) dances with his IEI partner. They teach dance together.

They are also a Harmonizing - Creative couple, as far as I can tell.

He is known for his very physical and fun teaching. He is indeed a fun guy.

ILE at most.

[valhalla]

*Laugs in SLE*

I had him at SLI a few years back and can't shake that typing. His lists of hobbies checks out as well. I had always thought SLI-SLE territory.

[valhalla]

Usually its them who spot you

->

Ananke says SLE. k4m says SEI. The attentive eyes checks out.

[Beautiful sky]

They have excellent Se which means if they are interested in you they may look at you with sharp eyes to gather more information about you. They usually have a tendency to Fe which means they may want a joke back. They may be concerned about you so may ask you about your family. They can be courteous and polite also they have a lot of LSE tendencies except they don't move as fast at work as LSE do. Um. IDK overall they have a serious external bearing somewhat quiet and sometimes may seem introverted not necessarily shy. They can be mistrustful with their words and sometimes question you in a strange little twist as to ensure they can trust you. They basically look like any other human being lol so you won't know until you date them hahah

[Tallmo]

ILE at most.

He might seem like an ILE in that video but he is SLE. I have met him many times. Creative subtype.

[Beautiful sky]

This..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c2RsKgBo_aE

[CoViD Spurdo 007]

Lol dancing is stupid and you'll realize it if you have any self respect. It is only useful for parody. I refused everytime at school when they tried to pressure me. Even at gym lessons when they tried to give ultimatums. ESI teacher started to call me renegade.

[sbbds]

Male SLEs are pretty easy to spot unless they’re the more super introverted kind IMO.

They tend to be the stereotypical bro-ish man man, and not too reserved or detached. Not too fluffy and social usually; those are SEEs. Usually ST guys have a firefighter or police officer demeanor, or at the very least have a more “active” quasi-blue collar vibe even if their jobs are white collar like @shotgunfingers or @Northstar do.

[Rusal]

Male SLEs take up space and dress like Sporty Spice.

[bethanyrose]

[QUOTE=valhalla;1406618]Usually its them who spot you

this is true- I can look back and remember meeting SLE guys on nights out and they are all funny stories. A guy approaching me in a bar to ask ‘do you like garage music?’ (Yes I do)..He was way younger than me too. Another guy came up to me in a club at the end of the night, started rapping at me, more or less followed me home and I had to tell him
off :s He was sweet though. Met another guy on a trip to Berlin and he basically tried to convince me to move to Berlin and made a point of pointing out that we had similar tattoos (with the word ‘love’ in them).

Other than that, other guys including a manager just kind of being awkward/gushing around me and later making a lot of jokes/ another guy making a beeline for me at a party. Other instances with more shy guys: one getting his friend to ask if I liked him and one guy who joined my flat on the first night of uni drinks and ended up sleeping on our kitchen floor a lot the rest of the term (not just for me but maybe it was part of it lol) hope it happens once more now I would appreciate it more haha

edit: the above all sounds too romantic..I have also met/come across some estps who are super awkward, bless em

[CoViD Spurdo 007]

I think there is resemblance between super egos albeit having very different strengths.

They probably give short term ultimatums that supports their views yet they can be turned around 180 degrees by certain information.

[shotgunfingers]

Male SLEs take up space and dress like Sporty Spice.

:>

[Samson]

Hard to describe without an example. So let me give you one:



Notice the "ON" eyes. That's Se base. The eyes do not look hazy or dreamy, they do not look dull or "flat." If the eyes do not look ready-for-action, you must scrape Se base (even Se creative) from your list of potential types for the typee. SLE and SEE share this trait. Even when squinting, the eyes will look extremely present (bar any drug (ab)use that would impact this of course). This, combined with a non-rigid composure (more on that below), is by far the most telling element to determine Se base in my experience.

Notice the folding lines that turn downward from the sides of his nose. This is a common consequence from expressions done via Fe. Fe and Fi both are capable of creating strong fold lines around the mouth and nose area, but their placements differ because of how they pull the facial muscles differently. Fe, as shown in the video example, will pull the mouth sideways and up much more strongly. Laughs and smirks: sideways and up. Fi in contrast tends to pull down the cheeks more, often with extremely straight smiles (that don't go up much), creating more puffy cheeks regardless of body weight. Notice also the excellent use of his eyebrows: up, down, moving all around, one brow raised, frown, wink (okay that's not the brow ), etc. Fe puts a lot of emphasis on the brow movement: they help emphasize and make the expression that more expressive. Fi-Te might be very intense and pushy and the brow will match this, but this area is often a neglected one and the brow movement will be much more uniform: up, down, frown. This is probably the cause of the MBTI stereotype that Fe is "shallow" (but with theatrical nuance) and that Fi is "authentic" (but not as adaptable). Note that SLE does not possess strong Fe, so you may have to be patient to catch the SLE in a certain mood (such as making YouTube videos) for him to display these things strongly. SLE will be irregular in this area, but when shown, the Fe will be obvious (and may come across as forced at times).
Compare Justin Bieber (SLE) with Selena Gomez (SEE). Compare the smiles, compare the facial lines they create, compare the cheeks, and compare the brow action. I find it difficult to put into words but these examples should help with painting the picture.

Ti types, base or creative, are more likely to have flatter cheeks when compared to Fi types. As mentioned above, Fi cheeks easily puff up, but Ti tends towards flatter cheeks as the expression from Fe leaves that area relatively untouched. Anorexia or obesity will make this an unreliable method to use, as will flat effect. Though even then, the trend should be observable when directly compared to other people's markers. Ti tends to go between neutral (reflective) and performative (Fe), Fi tends go between subtle emotion (introspective) and steamrolling (Te). Note: either can be considered "dramatic" or "expressive" in the more extroverted states, but there is a noticeable difference in tactic.

SLE has a Pe temperament: irrational. This means that SLE has a baseline of non-rigid composure (J is rigid) and a high flexibility in neutral <> excitable movement (Pi has low flexibility in this, but has non-rigid composure). Se shares these qualities with Ne, though Ne is more prone to appear scattered and distracted, and Se is more prone to appear pushy and focused.

There is much more nuance to recognizing the type in real time, but I like using this as a baseline to jump from. I find words and stories, such as typing by forum posts, to be mostly unreliable and inaccurate. I prefer seeing the types instead, literally. Not everyone appreciates this method, that is okay - I don't appreciate typing by stories. Not everyone thinks the same way (we, as typology enthusiasts, should know this better than anyone). But if even one person finds this helpful - I know you're out there somewhere - you're welcome. (This is an Fe emoji.)

[fireee]

Back to the subject. my hypothesis is that I confuse EIE with SLE (again, we're talking from at a distance, because do I actually go up to people and talk to them, particularly if they're extroverted and confident? of course not.)

Yahhh so how do you spot an SLE? Particularly male because I may or may not want to kidnap one for myself (jk I'll just stay in my cave until the end of time)

SLEs and EIEs are very very different

SLEs are much more grounded, blunt, fun, thinking about the physical world around them:




EIEs in comparison are much more socially graceful, think more deeply about the themes/moods of the people around them:

[SnatchYourWeave]

A lot of this is VI stuff which is wrong and only perpetuates stereotypes. SLEs are not some mythical, prized creature to hunt and obtain. To know what anyone’s type is, you have to get to know them beyond observing basic behaviors.

[Uncle Ave]

:>

[nanashi]

aw, that pic, yes.

[shotgunfingers]

SLE is like a tank.
It shrugs off opinions like a tank shrugs off bullets.
You must use NLAW where the plating is thinnest aka on the Fi PolR to crack it wide open.

[bethanyrose]

A lot of this is VI stuff which is wrong and only perpetuates stereotypes. SLEs are not some mythical, prized creature to hunt and obtain. To know what anyone’s type is, you have to get to know them beyond observing basic behaviors.

It’s true, there’s such wide variety in the types. (If people need typology ‘proof’ then go learn about enneagram type with instincts and tritype)

A lot of SLEs are just gonna be nice, ordinary people, just like any of the types. There’s a guy who works in a library with me who is SLE. Also know a couple of teachers..there’s an SLE friend/love interest out there for every person/type. They will most likely be super friendly to IEIs in my experience so just look out for friendly, funny guys with a strong ‘presence’. And if not, just go out in the world and do fun stuff and you’ll likely meet a like-minded SLE on the way

[SnatchYourWeave]

Yup. SLE are normal, regular people. I don’t like to admit it, but SLEs are black/white thinkers. There’s some slight room for accommodating new/updated information but ultimately there isn’t shifting going on cuz... there’s no reason to. The stereotypical redneck southern gun toting dude is (sadly) SLE. I’ve met my male counterpart as criminal prosecution attorneys while I was interning. Pretty sure the guy who helped retrieve my iPhone when I got attacked and mugged was also SLE. Very forceful and he showed up in court to testify for me. He told me he was so livid that such a lowlife scum attacked a girl. He felt like I was a strong person and asked how I was holding up, asked me if I was going to the gym (we went to the same gym). I had PTSD as a result and got a bunch of drugs after that. Ahhhhh... life an SLE isn’t all thrills


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[shotgunfingers]

[Suspiria]

Ahhah, that meme can be made about pretty much any IE. I think the ones that are the most blown out of proportion in socionics literature are surely Se, Ni and Ne. They are nearly fetishized.

[CoViD Spurdo 007]

[Beautiful sky]

You can’t spot functions lol but you can spot energy. SLE have periods of energy and external activity but not always extreme just that they are more flexible in their movement just like what Christopher Reece said in the video that I posted

[Viktor]

You have one right here, let's have sex

[Sol]

You can’t spot functions lol but you can spot energy.

Different functions of ego and valued have different kinds of "energy" in impressions from people. Besides their a common behavior and IR effects with you. This makes possibly to "spot functions". With a correct theory knowledge, thinking and training and you'd can do it and correctly.

You have one right here, let's have sex

the right to have a sex with SLE

[raTG13]

Honestly its both and neither. I see some pathological IEEs and ILEs in the first one.

[Nobody]

[seare825]

How do you differentiate Te commands and Se commands? I've noticed that I've been able to find extroverted STs very easily, but I can't differentiate between an Se command or a Te command - I know both are fairly forceful, both tend to be fairly possessive, and there's very much a clear cut response by their respective duals (EIIs ignore instructions and do what they want anyways when commanded, and IEIs tend to slip into an advisory role and subtly guide SLEs to what they want in the end), but it's hard to decide whether the command I'm being given is an Se thing or a Te thing? Also, how do you generally differentiate between those quasi identicals and SEEs?