Originally Posted by
Hawkeye
Sure.
It's a long read tho, but here goes:
LIE Father
Narcissistic abuse including gaslighting (blaming me for things that are not even my fault), constant manipulation, corporal punishment for very slight issues (even though I was the most well-behaved of any other kid I knew), emotional neglect, never allowed to disagree with him on anything for fear of sparking narc rage episode, cursing and insulting me regularly, telling me regularly how pathetic and useless and disappointing I am, nothing I did was ever good enough (despite being an over-achiever at school). He never came to any of my events or awards ceremonies.
At 18 he told me to pack my bags and piss off out of his house.
ESI Mother
Too terrified of father to stand up to him and support me, otherwise she would deal with fallout for days.
SLE and LSI Uncles
Frequently verbally abusive and reacted immediately with rage to any kind of disagreement I had with them.
Forced me to pay more than half the rent of the expensive apartment we were living in together, even though I was a poor / struggling student and they were both working full time and earning tons of money.
They would also play pranks on me constantly to the point where it became oppressive and I couldn't even get to sleep at night for fear of waking up covered in shaving cream or some other stupid thing.
They also thought it was funny to keep me awake at night by constantly calling me, banging doors, turning the lights on and off, playing loud music or Tv etc. and basically refusing to let me sleep even though I had to get up at 6am.
This happened routinely to the point where I had to move out and go stay with some friends.
EIE Grandmother
Abused my ESI mother for years, kicked her out of the house at 14. Wouldn't even tell my mother who her real father was.
Constantly defends my uncles as if they are just having harmless fun and I am overreacting.
Constantly scheming to get money out of my parents, sometimes using me as a pawn to that end, and constantly creating unnecessary emotional drama in the family by playing people against each other to get what she wants from them.
IEI Partner
Cheating, emotional and physical neglect. Would often leave me alone at home while he went out clubbing (including strip clubs) and partying. Would spend more time sleeping over at "friends'" places instead of at home with me.
Let me pay his massive overdue power bill using all of my savings (they were about to cut off his power at Christmas). As a result, I was broke for several months after that, and when we were out with his friends I was unable to pay for drinks, food etc. The friends then treated me like some kind of pathetic homeless person, but he never defended me or told them the real reason I was broke. He was happy to save his own reputation at my expense.
SEE Boss
Narcissitic abuse, including playing people against each other to create chaos and tension in the office which she then could control and manipulate to her advantage (constantly spreading lies about what people were allegedly saying about others behind their backs).
In front of her superiors, taking credit for all of our accomplishments, while never taking any responsibility when something went wrong (she always shifted blame to us).
Offloading 99% of her work onto all of us while she sat and relaxed in the office all day, staring out of the window (my workload gradually doubled in the 5 years since she started).
Meetings were all about giving herself a soap box where she could remind us in various ways how awesome she was and how useless and pathetic we all were, and constantly threatening to fire or collectively punish us if there were any complaints to her superiors or bad reviews in the employee feedback surveys.
ILI General Manager
Allowed the SEE boss to continue treating us like crap, and ignored (sometimes laughed) when we tried to bring it up with him.
LIE Lecturer and Co
Lecturer hated me from Day 1 because I came from an industry and job position that he himself had held. So he had this weird ego reaction where he needed to "put me in my place" and make sure everybody knew HE was the top guy, and I was nothing.
He would constantly give job opportunities to other students and somehow forget to include me in the mailing list (despite being a top student, and despite that he had used my email address several times before).
In my final 3-month project he was constantly interfering with the project team, inserting and removing team members, until it was only me left to complete a job designed for 4 ppl, and the project only ended up 60% complete as a result, for which he then blamed me for poor project management.
He also openly stated in front of the class that the project was low-level trash that looked like it was just copied-pasted from the Internet (it was not, and everybody had seen me working my ass off on this thing from Day 1).
He said if he was an employer, he would not touch me with a 10-foot barge pole, and cannot believe I had been working in this industry for so many years already. Just pure nasty insults in front of the entire class. (Everyone sat there, shocked.)
He then failed me (despite being an A student up to that point, with a different lecturer), despite his admission that it was the biggest and most commercial-level project anyone has ever submitted in this course. The "official reasons" he came up with for failing me were bogus beyond belief, and everybody knew it.
The other 2 lecturers (ESI) who were part of the grading process were employed directly by him, so their jobs depended on agreeing with him. Nobody stood up for me. It was a total gang-rape.
To make it worse, I went to the college appeals committee (mostly Gamma from what I've seen) to get some justice, but they were all his long-time friends and coworkers and were happy to defend him and dismiss my complaints as baseless.
On top of that, I was an international student at immediate risk of being deported based on these results, and they all knew it. They tried to use this to force me to pay them more money to re-do the course, which I refused.
School Bullies
The typical school bullying. I was locked in lockers, pushed around, and relentlessly made fun of for all kinds of stupid things. As a kid, that sort of thing really messes you up over time.
Healthy vs Unhealthy Se - How to Recognise?
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idk, get mad, set boundaries, reinforce them if ppl push past? Try not to become a Karen tho, nobody likes Karens lol.
I'm like this in crisis situations or when I want something or when there is something that needs to get done but ppl meander around the issue and annoy me, I'll just do it myself and drag everyone with me by simply being active and willful. Asking or being bossy doesn't happen tho. I might insult ppl if I think they deserve it for being weak & pathetic however, but that probably has more to do with my rational functions and judging process.
