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Thread: Identity vs Benefit for marriage

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    I'm a tourist in the land of my own being Megatrop's Avatar
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    Default Identity vs Benefit for marriage

    Which ITR is potentially better for marriage between the two?

    I know Identity means better communication/understanding --> less misunderstandings, but benefit has the Leading-Activating/Creative-Suggestive interaction, which results in a more complementary relationship.

    Share any experiences if you have

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    Jesus is the cruel sausage consentingadult's Avatar
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    I have not been in any LTRs with other IEEs, but experience has taught me that they are as unreliable as I am (or used to be). Basically, on a psychological level, you can't really keep any secrets from your identical, at at least such is the case with IEEs.

    I know some IEE women that I know they want something from me in the area of intimacy. The also know that I know. I in turn, know that they know. But this never gets outspoken. We all know the possibility exists, but neither of s is in a positions to make it happen, and even if we were to make it happen, it probably wouldn 't last. We thrive on the possibility.

    as to Benefit relations: again going by experience, I'd probably get along better with with ESIs than ESEs. But even with ESIs, thing would be pretty frustrating.

    And things get a lot worse when you are experienced in Socionics, for nothing ever really surprises you anymore.
    “I have never tried that before, so I think I should definitely be able to do that.” --- Pippi Longstocking

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    Moderator myresearch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by consentingadult View Post
    I have not been in any LTRs with other IEEs, but experience has taught me that they are as unreliable as I am (or used to be). Basically, on a psychological level, you can't really keep any secrets from your identical, at at least such is the case with IEEs.

    I know some IEE women that I know they want something from me in the area of intimacy. The also know that I know. I in turn, know that they know. But this never gets outspoken. We all know the possibility exists, but neither of s is in a positions to make it happen, and even if we were to make it happen, it probably wouldn 't last. We thrive on the possibility.

    as to Benefit relations: again going by experience, I'd probably get along better with with ESIs than ESEs. But even with ESIs, thing would be pretty frustrating.

    And things get a lot worse when you are experienced in Socionics, for nothing ever really surprises you anymore.
    You got confused, I assume because of writing in a hurry, LIE and ESE have benefit relations with IEE.

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    Quote Originally Posted by myresearch View Post
    You got confused, I assume because of writing in a hurry, LIE and ESE have benefit relations with IEE.
    I have a sister-in-law who is my Benefactor IEE-Ne, and a bookkeeper who is IEE-Fi, and while I like them both, I think I'd work pretty hard to avoid being in a relationship with either of them.

    I also know an Identical LIE female, 36 yo, and I wouldn't mind having a short fling with her, but I can't see long-term there at all.

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    Identity should be some better. It's harder to find long friends/pals with order IR, while identity or mirror are many.
    Types examples: video bloggers, actors

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    Jesus is the cruel sausage consentingadult's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by myresearch View Post
    You got confused, I assume because of writing in a hurry, LIE and ESE have benefit relations with IEE.
    You're right, I vaped too much weed last night.
    “I have never tried that before, so I think I should definitely be able to do that.” --- Pippi Longstocking

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    What's the purpose of SEI? Tallmo's Avatar
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    Identity is pretty good, maybe the best of all itr. Very common.
    The decisive thing is not the reality of the object, but the reality of the subjective factor, i.e. the primordial images, which in their totality represent a psychic mirror-world. It is a mirror, however, with the peculiar capacity of representing the present contents of consciousness not in their known and customary form but in a certain sense sub specie aeternitatis, somewhat as a million-year old consciousness might see them.

    (Jung on Si)

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    Identity has about the same mediocre potential as activity partners but is about a third better than benefit; I've seen an IEI-partnership fail miserably because each couldn't metaphorically feed off the other, and I know of one decades-long benefit relationship but they seem live in different parts of the house.

    a.k.a. I/O

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    I'm a tourist in the land of my own being Megatrop's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tallmo View Post
    Identity is pretty good, maybe the best of all itr. Very common.
    I agree for friendship. I'm not sure about marriage.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rebelondeck View Post
    Identity has about the same mediocre potential as activity partners but is about a third better than benefit; I've seen an IEI-partnership fail miserably because each couldn't metaphorically feed off the other, and I know of one decades-long benefit relationship but they seem live in different parts of the house.

    a.k.a. I/O
    mediocre? �� hunny, ok if you wanna call identity mediocre I get it, but activity is a bombbb experience. there are few people I admire and connect with as much as my activators. The best marriage I’ve ever seen has been an activity relationship (decades long) and they keep romance alive like nobody’s business.

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    Ironically, my mom is my benefactor and my papa was my identical.

    Mom is my best friend, but raising me was quite a rocky road for her. It is stressful wanting to support someone but not knowing how, and I can understand this sentiment with my own beneficiaries. On my part as a beneficiary, the demands and desire to please can also be difficult to hurdle. I wouldn’t trade my relationship with my mom for anything, but I don’t know if such a dynamic would be so fitting for marriage.

    With Papa, I was a daddy’s girl. He understood me in a wordless way, and knew exactly how to comfort me and help me relax. Losing him at a young age hit me hard, because I loved my family but nobody else had that sort of bond with me. Generally, I viewed him as very strong and independent; but in his moments of need, I often got a sense that I couldn’t help him. Nevertheless, he forever stands in my mind as the most awesome man I know. I think the rather no-stress nature of the identity relation can make for a decent marriage. I have a family member who married an identical, and together they had a dual baby. They seem just as well off as they can be.

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    Haikus Computer Loser's Avatar
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    From the socionics website:

    In order for Identical relations to last, one partner has to take a role of the Dual as if it was a Duality relationship. Usually it happens naturally. If the two are introverts, one often subconsciously attempts to take care of the extroverted side of things, if the two are thinking types, then one would try to fill the resulting emotional void etc. Different backgrounds and function developments of Identical partners could help in this case, however as with any other relationship there has to be a driving forc e behind it to keep it going.
    I could definitely see myself trying to EIE myself if I was with another LSI but that sounds exhausting lol

    Also wanted to add,

    #1 predictor of marriage success; time spent together
    #1 predictor of marriage divorce; contempt

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    Rebelondeck's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinKDiGiT18 View Post
    mediocre? �� hunny, ok if you wanna call identity mediocre I get it, but activity is a bombbb experience. there are few people I admire and connect with as much as my activators. The best marriage I’ve ever seen has been an activity relationship (decades long) and they keep romance alive like nobody’s business.
    Activity partners seem to connect OK in that many can communicate well but they can't seem to easily work on the same project together. If they can arrange a total separation of duties and responsibilities, they can then work in close proximity to one another and be quite congenial to one another. It's needing to depend on one another that seems to create disappointment and often mistrust. As an aside, the way you opened your remarks is unlike any EII that I've ever known.....

    a.k.a. I/O

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    Hot Message FDG's Avatar
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    Identity isn't a bad relationship, it's often ranked as second-best. Romantically be be a bit harder for logical types.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Identity would win, but not by a long shot or anything. Dual or activity or even mirror would probably be better to me in ways but... I'd always recommend marrying or dating inside your quadra.

    The biggest challenge I would think the Identity pair would face would be not trolling each other too badly because I think two Identical people can really know how to get under each other's skin. Like I could see two IEIs both sadistically hating each other for being 'weak' and not killing the spider in the house easily and strongly like an SLE would or something? lol. Hmm. I think this would be the biggest challenge to overcome... what kinda factors would make the Identical ppl not be mean to each other and purposefully provoke weak spots?

    IEI wife: "god George I just wish sometimes you were an alpha male"
    IEI husband: "Yeah well damn I wish you were too..."

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