Yeah the problem is probably on my end and it might yield better results for a more even keeled person.
I'd say I'm pretty obsessive, once I find a way of thinking I start seeing everything through that lense. Some history with substance abuse but I wouldn't say addiction per se.
who, me?
Originally Posted by nice
I know what you mean. I feel like I can’t remember who I was before I learnt about Socionics/enneagram. Also had my heart broken/saw a therapist and then COVID all in the space of a year or so. Learning about enneagram instincts/tritypes has helped a bit coz they are a different way of typing people and made me see people’s over all types as more fluid/complex/simple. (Obviously people are much more than a type but I was doing the thing you mentioned where you just see people as a type and kinda judge them for it). Most of my adult life I’ve always tried to value every human being as unique and important. But then socionics came along and makes me feel like everyone is just a robot and it’s like we have no control over who we are and how we are.
But I actually think I’m starting to forget a lot of the stuff I’ve read and
hoping that I can stop reading so much about it and just dip in and out. At one point I was reading so much stuff that felt quite dark (on this forum, old posts and stuff) but I seem to be coming across more positive stuff now and having more positive thoughts about socionics. I still wake up in the middle of the night thinking about it all but I think it’s getting better and I’ll stop obsessing (I’m also an obsessive thinker) because ultimately the type of person I am is one who deeply loves people for their uniqueness and humanity, including theirs flaws and I just want to help people and also enjoy/ appreciate people. I’m trying to just keep socionics at the back of my mind and use it to improve my relationships and accept myself more. But I def did go through a phase where I was like ‘oh I can’t trust my enfp/infj friends’ haha. Now I’m more like ‘aw they don’t mean that in a bad way’ but less scared to disagree with them I think? I am terrified of telling people about it though! I guess things will sink in and hopefully we can use it to be better, happier people.. I hope I start to remember my old self a bit and figure out how exactly I’ve changed!
Last edited by Bethanyclaire; 07-29-2020 at 07:51 PM.
The worst was when I was half way through group therapy and had just discovered socionics and I felt like I made all these dark, negative contributions (not like me at all!) and was totally judging everyone in the group including the therapists. (If I have therapy again I’ll tell them I know about socionics I think..) That was a few months ago and now I’m in a place where I think I’m seeing the value in all the types instead and trying to see people as individuals again. I hope my brain can manage this!
I think also maybe for people who’ve really struggled in life (I know I have) it’s hard to learn that you were so fragile for a reason (you innately knew the world was sort of against you/ you couldn’t deal with it.. and turns out you were right) but at the same time people didn’t know how to be any different. I didn’t blame people for my problems before but it’s weird learning that if only they had tried to help you (which they didn’t know how to) but if only, if only...then my life wouldn’t have been so wrong. It feels a bit like it could so easily have been different if only I’d know that my mental health problems/my personality type gone a bit wrong were stopping people from helping me. Poor mental health is a such a trap and I do think people knowing about socionics will make them reach out to people with issues or notice them. Soz bit of tangent but I think I needed to air this for a while somewhere haha. It is good having people to talk to on here, of all different types too.
Last edited by Bethanyclaire; 07-29-2020 at 07:46 PM.
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