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Thread: How do other people experience Sx-firsts?

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    Default How do other people experience Sx-firsts?

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    C-EII-INFj 4w3 Sx/sp 479

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    I'm sx-first and I've been told I'm a "loose cannon" by an introverted project manager at a university, and I've been told that I'm un-igorable by an SEI that I work with.

    These are just the things that people have told me, or came back to me by way of a third party. I don't know what people are actually thinking about me. I probably don't want to know.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    I'm sx-first and I've been told I'm a "loose cannon" by an introverted project manager at a university, and I've been told that I'm un-igorable by an SEI that I work with.

    These are just the things that people have told me, or came back to me by way of a third party. I don't know what people are actually thinking about me. I probably don't want to know.
    That's just type 8.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Samson View Post
    That's just type 8.
    OK, you are probably right about that.

    I don't have any feedback about my desire to merge with a woman I like upon first seeing her that day. Some women like the clarity, some don't.

    I assume they are thinking, "He wants to fuck me, but then we can go shopping and then to the beach." But I don't really know.

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    I'll let you know when I understand what SX is supposed to be. I've heard it described as both 'sexual' and 'intimate;' terms which are used in ways that are mutually exclusive.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tommy View Post
    People unilaterally and unjustifiable ascribe me sexual behavior.

    For example once a good friend of mine thought It was impossible for me to be a virgin (when I was). Sometimes ppl go ahead to try to seduce me when our relation is totally occupational. In two occasions I was told that I was seducing men and sexually offending ppl through my avatar pictures taken from pinterest.

    The interesting part is that I don't even feel attracted to most ppl.
    have they told you what gives them that impression?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kalinoche the Child View Post
    have they told you what gives them that impression?
    No. As I said, online some said my avatars (and it were not 2, but 3 ppl). For the ppl irl I have no clue. I've always been introverted and kinda serious. I think its due being sx, honestly.

    edit. I stopped using real humans in my avatrs to discourage ppl from thinking anything I do has sexual connotations.
    Last edited by Akira; 07-04-2020 at 11:14 PM.

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    Too much. Entirely too much. But occasionally really sexy.

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    Sx firsts are intense and cool and potentially intimate. (This is idealizing and forgetting the first instinct may be about covering for a weak area--I don't have experience but imagine they may do that push-pull thing which is about avoiding intimacy. It's fun I think for the one doing the push/pull more than for the one being pushed and pulled).

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tommy View Post
    No. As I said, online some said my avatars (and it were not 2, but 3 ppl). For the ppl irl I have no clue. I've always been introverted and kinda serious. I think its due being sx, honestly.

    edit. I stopped using real humans in my avatrs to discourage ppl from thinking anything I do has sexual connotations.
    You're my mom, pls behave

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    I've come to the realization that my closest, longest friendships have been with other sx-first individuals. Even bonded with a conflictor over it. Because of my need to remove barriers in contact, I struggle to establish closeness (as I see it) with sp-doms, who have very defined boundaries with regard to their relationships. So-firsts are also hard for me to get close to, as they see intimacy as either hazardous (so/sp) or as something I give too much focus to (so/sx).

    From the perspective of an sx-dom, meeting other sx-doms is like being reunited with estranged family. No other instinct understands the ever-burning fire that plagues the soul of an sx-dom. There are times when each other's intensity is too much even for us, which gives way to a need for space. However, we often feed off each other's energy as well, coming to new insights and finding new passions.

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    I’ve scared people off - actually
    although the mind works such that you can be fearful about a potential rather than reality of something and not even realize it
    it took me a while to understand I was misunderstood, kind of maybe not their fault, but kinda was.

    maybe I’ve drawn people in too, I don’t know. I’ve only recently become more cognizant of my sx energy after realizing what my enneagram instinct is. I’m trying to think of more impressions…

    well, ok, it’s going to overlap with 4. Emotional, intense, “into intense stuff” and so on. That’s part of the impression I believe I give.

    ive thought my sx energy - who I was at my core - was undesirable, repulsive. Scary. A turn-off, essentially. But I only recently realized this because the thought itself was pure horror, it would cause me nightmares to subdue or deny it. Yea, indeed, I have a “fixation” here.

    but because I genuinely believed this is who I was - repulsive somehow - I guess that self-loathing is the vibe I gave off too without intending to or realizing it. It was only after at about 23yo when an ILI I liked returned the attraction that this feeling I had about myself started to abate. It’s not fully gone but it’s better than what it was when I was a teenager.

    Our idealized image is that we have the power to attract those we want. Yes, just those we want! But I imagine it would be all the power I need. Not in the Se sense - I don’t care about aggression/defense, territoriality and so on.

    but the fact that reality for me was the complete opposite of this - before the ILI, who was the first guy to return my attraction to him - made me suppress the idea that I could even be sx first when I originally encountered enneagram.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Aramas View Post
    Too much. Entirely too much. But occasionally really sexy.

    this


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    As fierce arrows of a burning ember digging a waterfall of contested fissures and a spicy cradle of bench pressing and hourglass smashing with a deadly veil of loose sharp edges of an easily peaked Soul flooding the cake with an erotic bind of drama and avalanche.
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    SX/So is the most identifiable in my experience. Out there and alluring, but inclusive. When ever I feel a spot light on me it's an inclusive Sx/So of some sort.

    Sx/Sp to me are alluring as well. Like a lazer beam both these IVs tend to want to bring out the Sx animal in myself which I do welcome occasionally. The Catwomen to my Batman.

    I end up coaching some of them and keeping them balanced through highs and lows, on some occasions more forcefully than others. A father figure to some, a hunt to others. To me they they range from insufferable to close friends.

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    *Clicks Shotgun*

    Yup sounds about right on the boundaries thing. A good fence makes good neighbors, unless it's a romantic relationship.

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    Partly magnetism.
    [Insert a generic quote here]

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    Legit Sx firsts probably don't go around bragging about it since it is more of a curse than anything else. That makes you think about the quantity of people that believe themselves to be sx first. I've been recently watching the first three seasons of The Simpsons, and I noticed that Bart and Lisa are both Sx/sp and DCNH C; they're good examples of those types. Bart is probably 7w8 and Lisa is probably 4w3.

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    They rant a lot and like to test fate/live like they could die at any moment. They never wear condoms, do every drug, burn bridges, say exactly what they think, can completely upend on their lives on a whim, etc. They talk about catching “vibes” with people and have a new calling or life changing epiphany every other week
    Last edited by Averroes; 11-11-2021 at 04:25 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Averroes View Post
    They rant a lot and like to test fate/live like they could die at any moment. They never wear condoms, do every drug, get into fights, etc.

    That sounds about right.



    @Averroes, I was reading your description and thinking "That sounds like an incredibly stupid and reckless lifestyle."

    And then I thought, "Wait a minute. That's me, and me, and me, and me again. WTF?"

    I don't actually like to test fate, although that's what it might look like. I just like to do stuff, and it sometimes results in scars or broken bones. I broke my nose and the metatarsals in my foot, fractured my skull, have scars on my face and hands and left eye (yes, the eye doctor said my eyeball was scarred from a stupid accident in the woods) from various accidents and a long scar on my abdomen where my intestines popped out.

    As for wearing condoms, I did a few times with the LSI but gave it up, and not otherwise. I've been incredibly lucky, except with that hotel maid in Alabama, and that was curable.

    This picture is how sx/so feels, all the time: https://i.imgur.com/oqze4uB.jpg
    Last edited by Adam Strange; 11-11-2021 at 04:19 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by roger557 View Post
    Legit Sx firsts probably don't go around bragging about it since it is more of a curse than anything else.
    ^This. Abso-fucking-loutely this.
    Last edited by Neuroplasticity; 11-13-2021 at 02:15 PM.
    [Insert a generic quote here]

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    Exclusion. As in, a lot of Sx firsts (particularly Sx/Sp) will show interest in a few people in the group and leave others out.
    [Insert a generic quote here]

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    My machines tell me that I get an average of 5.9 hours of sleep per night.

    Four hours is too little, and eight hours is way too much.

    An ESI-Se whom I know, and who seems to sleep about 8-9 hours per day, said “Now I know why you drink so much coffee.”

    I replied, “I just want to live every minute.”

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    Sexual pop ups and windy cardinals make the showboating and flamboyant barn animals throw a wedgie into the song writer of the sexual first pure ocean entities of respiration and transformative mind shattering give the sexual a fluid animation.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    My machines tell me that I get an average of 5.9 hours of sleep per night.

    Four hours is too little, and eight hours is way too much.

    An ESI-Se whom I know, and who seems to sleep about 8-9 hours per day, said “Now I know why you drink so much coffee.”

    I replied, “I just want to live every minute.”
    Adam, is that actually healthy? According to common wisdom, you need 7-9 hours of sleep.

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    Xerx, it probably is not healthy, but I just seem to wake up after having had 5.5 to 6.0 hours of sleep. No alarm needed.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Averroes View Post
    They rant a lot and like to test fate/live like they could die at any moment. They never wear condoms, do every drug, burn bridges, say exactly what they think, can completely upend on their lives on a whim, etc. They talk about catching “vibes” with people and have a new calling or life changing epiphany every other week
    I feel attacked
    @Adam, agreed that sleep feels like a waste of time. However I still find myself needing 7-8 hours for optimal functioning.

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    Quote Originally Posted by kingslayer View Post
    I feel attacked
    @Adam, agreed that sleep feels like a waste of time. However I still find myself needing 7-8 hours for optimal functioning.
    @kingslayer, yes, sleep seems to be baked-in to life itself. Scientists have found that even extremely primitive animals seem to have resting periods. I'm not sure why this is the case, but it seems like we are stuck with sleep for the time being.

    I suspect that it has something to do with debris cleanup, but I'm not sure.

    For a long time, I wondered why most plants use green chlorophyll, when the solar maximum is at green light and plants reflect green light. It would seem that they could be made to instantly have a greater "food" supply if we genetically altered the chlorophyll they use to one which absorbs green light.
    But recent studies indicate that plant metabolism is not overloaded when it preferentially uses the dimmer red and blue parts of the spectrum. Evidently, if a leaf is subject to the on-again, off-again flickering light coming from an overhead leafy canopy, the plant's metabolism does this "bang! ON, bang! OFF" cycle, which is not good for the plant.

    Nature opted for stabilization over efficiency in plant design, and as an sx-first, I can understand the appeal.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    @kingslayer, yes, sleep seems to be baked-in to life itself. Scientists have found that even extremely primitive animals seem to have resting periods. I'm not sure why this is the case, but it seems like we are stuck with sleep for the time being.

    I suspect that it has something to do with debris cleanup, but I'm not sure.

    For a long time, I wondered why most plants use green chlorophyll, when the solar maximum is at green light and plants reflect green light. It would seem that they could be made to instantly have a greater "food" supply if we genetically altered the chlorophyll they use to one which absorbs green light.
    But recent studies indicate that plant metabolism is not overloaded when it preferentially uses the dimmer red and blue parts of the spectrum. Evidently, if a leaf is subject to the on-again, off-again flickering light coming from an overhead leafy canopy, the plant's metabolism does this "bang! ON, bang! OFF" cycle, which is not good for the plant.

    Nature opted for stabilization over efficiency in plant design, and as an sx-first, I can understand the appeal.
    From what I've learned, sleep is the brain cleaning itself or something along those lines. It needs 7-8 hours for an adult every night to properly clean itself or something along those lines. You can also catch up on lost sleep by sleeping more later on.

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    I think I'm probably this type but idk for sure. I'm not too familiar with instinct stackings.... I would say other people are either super turned on/charmed by us or they are morally disgusted by us and make us 'demonic' or 'evil/bad/wrong' etc. so they feel more self-righteous- which fits how most ppl real life seem to respond to me? lol. I think there is definitely a natural provocation, as much as I like when other people take me more neutrally, indifferently, or logically- I'm more of a love me or hate me type of guy. Hehe.

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