Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
It also just occurred to me that I know a male ESI who is gay and is with an ILI. I've known this guy for nine years. He's a great guy. I think he wishes that I were gay. Lol.
He's with the ILI because the ILI is his best option. He's not ecstatic about it.

This ESI is about the worst long-term planner that I know. He has a PhD and no retirement savings and still lives in an apt despite moving to the States from Germany twenty years ago.

Maybe, as @Zero said, this is some kind of Ne-painful commitment-phobia. ESI's either jump at the first rabbit that catches their eye, or they think think think it to death and end up doing nothing. Analysis paralysis.
Maybe he hates the maintenance involved in owning a home, or he's afraid of getting screwed and buying the house version of a lemon. Also maybe he just doesn't want to feel tied down.

I don't understand the no savings part. Maybe he just wanted to spend it immediately for the better lifestyle? Some PhDs aren't rich, too. Maybe he can't afford it lol.