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Thread: How the Sexual 4 acts when unhealthy

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    Shytan's Avatar
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    Default How the Sexual 4 acts when unhealthy

    They move to Sexual 2 yes? What characteristics of the Sx 2 do they embody when they are unhealthy?

    C-EII-INFj 4w3 Sx/sp 479

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    I've known one for a while now, that i've recently cut off, an IEE 4w3 sx/sp, with 3 and 8 fix.

    i don't know too much about Sx 2, but.. she seems to need to be admired and needed by the person. she goes a long way back with my close friend (and she's had a very toxic effect on her, thankfully my friend is slowly learning to stop taking shit from her), a Soc 2, and whenever she got really sad she would text her, because she knew she somewhat had the upper hand in the relationship, and she was the "superior" one, and she could bring down the 2 at the same time. for sx 4, it's not enough to win and feel superior, but they need to make the person they were competing with seem inferior.

    anyway, i don't think i've really answered your question, and if i did idk if i did so correctly. anyway i hope i helped a tiny bit

    oh, another thing. she gets very "lusty". she starts needing to "pull in" more and more people, one at a time, not necessarily to keep or anything, but just because she needs to "seduce" people with herself. when she is more healthy (i haven't seen her in a particularly healthy state much tbh), she is a bit more balanced and has more of a sense of self (from outside pov)? as in she stops obsessively becoming "a part of" every person she locks onto, and doesn't lose herself in them and the relationship as much.

    right now she has been at a particularly low point and she and another sx are consuming each other, and it doesn't look good..

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    maniac's Avatar
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    4s dont become 2s when unhealthy but they take in some characteristics of 2 when in stress. they are still very much stuck in the 4 neuroticism.

    If neurotic Fours do not commit suicide, they will probably try to
    free themselves from their crushing self-hatred in another way.
    Their movement to Two is a metaphor for their desire to escape
    from themselves by becoming dependent on someone who will pro
    vide the love and understanding they have missed.

    Although they are usually withdrawn from people, average, and
    particularly unhealthy, Fours have always wanted and needed people, and their move to Two is an ironic, unintended acknowledg
    ment of this. Fours are drawn to Two because they need to overcome
    their alienation from themselves and others by finding someone
    who will love them. By so doing, unhealthy Fours hope that they
    will, in time, be able to love themselves and actualize the good that
    is in them. Unfortunately, however, neurotic Fours are almost com
    pletely incapable of entering into and sustaining a genuine relation
    ship with anyone. They are too emotionally disturbed and self-
    contemptuous to function, much less to be able to truly love any
    one else.

    Instead, when neurotic Fours go to Two they may well have some
    sort of nervous breakdown, indirectly coercing someone to take
    care of them, but not necessarily the beloved of their imaginations.
    Eliciting pity from others substitutes for being loved. They may
    also be without financial resources, and therefore expect to live off
    someone else in what is little more than a parasitic existence and an
    extension of the feeling of exemption which we have already seen.
    Furthermore, since they are broken down, deteriorated Fours also
    feel exempt from having any expectations placed on them, even the
    expectation that they get well.

    Ironically, Fours at Two will likely begin to hate the very person
    they have become dependent upon, since their dependency is a
    constant reminder of their defects and lack of self-esteem. Conflicts
    will escalate as Fours alternate between intense feelings of aggres
    sion toward themselves and aggression toward the other. Others
    will no doubt also be infuriated with deteriorated Fours because
    many of their problems were either caused or greatly exacerbated by
    their own actions. They have brought much upon themselves, and
    now, others feel, it is they who are being forced to help undo what
    Fours have so perversely done to themselves.

    Deteriorated Fours cannot escape the fact that it is futile to at
    tempt to find themselves through someone else, since they still
    hate themselves. They will therefore probably destroy the very re
    lationship they so desperately depend on. The prognosis for deteri
    orated Fours is bleak indeed: if they do not receive adequate
    professional help, they may well eventually go mad, commit sui
    cide, or both.

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