Originally Posted by
FreelancePoliceman
So when I actually envisioned having a partner, I envisioned one very similar to myself. Probably also LII. I'd imagine having imaginary arguments with her constantly (not bad-spirited ones, but based in dry, emotionless difference of opinion), and becoming closer with each other through mutual respect we'd accrue from the other. Lol. I don't think I ever imagined being affectionate in the normal way of it. I also had a skepticism that any girls would ever like me, or that I'd ever feel open enough with a girl to ask her to stay with me.
But when it came to who I was typically most attracted to in real life, it was another story. Looking back on it, the composite of traits I liked forms the outline of an ESE, more or less: extraverted/sociable, cheerful, active, intelligent, big-hearted, down-to-earth, casual, independent, likes to have fun often and is able to do it. Weirdly, though, while I really liked these sorts of people when I was able to meet them, at the same time they didn't feature in my imagination, almost as if it was difficult to believe that such people really existed, or as if my brain was wired to not "get" these people. I actually really made an effort to get close to people with these traits (including ESEs), but it was as if the closer a person was to being ESE, the less I'd fantasize about them or imagine being with them. I think, instead, that when I "envisioned" or idealized someone besides a female copy of me, it tended to be an IEE -- maybe because IEEs had similar enough traits with ESEs (extraversion, openness to new ideas, informality, F, and so on).
Supervisory marriages are apparently common. Maybe it's for similar reasons?