ideal partners: then vs now (SFW)

[enmity]

Haha I like this thread. Actually, when I was younger I had figured that anyone I liked would not like me in return and anyone who liked me, I would not like.
I didn't really give anyone a chance and whoever came close to me I questioned their motives and wondered if it was genuine.
That was enough to not imagine an ideal partner because I thought there was no point to trying to imagine one if it was outside the realm of possibilities.
It was only after I met a certain SEE who chased after me that I had opened myself to that idea. But I do remember that before then, I did have an idea
of a type of person that I imagined I would like being around. I thought I would enjoy being around someone who was a purported intellectual,
someone I can have deep™ conversations with. Actually, in my experience such people were often very grating to me and I really did not need someone
who was similar to me. It eventually leads to trying to one-up each other and it is very tiring overall. What is better is to just have a different domain for each person,
so that we are not challenging each other and being made to feel bad about not living up to someone's expectations.
In short, I thought I needed someone with brains but it turns out I just really wanted someone with a pretty face who would chase after me.

[remiges]

In short, I thought I needed someone with brains but it turns out I just really wanted someone with a pretty face who would chase after me.

When I was early teens, being the misunderstood loner was my thing and I did want someone like myself. As I got over that, more late teens and early 20s, was when I realized I probably did not need that, similar to the reasons you mentioned. I needed someone to calm my mind down just a little, not rev it up more.

Growing up, I definitely got the message that I was not feminine enough, that society in general did not value girls who were too smart... and I remember actually breaking down emotionally one day because I couldn’t figure out how people formed relationships, how they knew they found someone they wanted to be with, that I would end up being alone because of this weakness that I perceived as something women should be able to do... Some day, I thought, maybe I could find a guy who was confident enough in his own judgment (Fe ignoring?) and own masculinity that he would not be ashamed at all by being the one to stay home and take care of the kids while I went out and worked.

ESI-Se seems like a good fit for him, imo.