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Thread: ideal partners: then vs now (SFW)

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    Default ideal partners: then vs now (SFW)

    When you were younger, before learning about Socionics - did you ever think about what your ideal partner would be like with respect to personality (excluding physical traits, social class for now)? Why were you interested in those traits? Does it match what you now consider your dual?

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    When I was eleven years old, I fell in love with a fictional character. She was a mermaid out of the water, daughter of Poseidon or something like that, and she was mute. I thought that she was absolutely beautiful. She always saved the ass of the protagonist, whom I thought was a shallow jerk of a hero-type.

    I just looked her up to VI her, and I swear that she VI’s as an ESI-Se. She looks kind of dreamy, so I’d assume that she’s the e9 flavor of ESI.

    As I got older, I didn’t really think about what characteristics my future wife might have. I just didn’t think of it. I assumed, having absorbed my mother’s opinions on the subject, that I’d marry someone who was logical, and I did. And divorced her.

    Now I’m looking for an ESI again. One who looks like that original character. Lol. She looks a bit like a combination of Brigitte Bardot and Ursula Andress, but is warm, mature, and wise instead of being pouty. She should also be smart.
    Last edited by Adam Strange; 02-28-2020 at 02:53 AM.

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    Haha I like this thread. Actually, when I was younger I had figured that anyone I liked would not like me in return and anyone who liked me, I would not like.
    I didn't really give anyone a chance and whoever came close to me I questioned their motives and wondered if it was genuine.
    That was enough to not imagine an ideal partner because I thought there was no point to trying to imagine one if it was outside the realm of possibilities.
    It was only after I met a certain SEE who chased after me that I had opened myself to that idea. But I do remember that before then, I did have an idea
    of a type of person that I imagined I would like being around. I thought I would enjoy being around someone who was a purported intellectual,
    someone I can have deep™ conversations with. Actually, in my experience such people were often very grating to me and I really did not need someone
    who was similar to me. It eventually leads to trying to one-up each other and it is very tiring overall. What is better is to just have a different domain for each person,
    so that we are not challenging each other and being made to feel bad about not living up to someone's expectations.
    In short, I thought I needed someone with brains but it turns out I just really wanted someone with a pretty face who would chase after me.

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    kindergarten; I liked the poor guy with a troubled history

    elementary skool; the hot guy master of the swimming pool

    jr high; the hottest guy of the skool, he was the chief of my class too

    high skool; uhhh I used to like the cool guys but not cold, those who were interesting, nerdy, busy with their interests, extroverts, funny, understanding...

    uni and on; same as above

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    I dunno, it probably doesn't match. Girls I'm into tend to (generally) have low extraversion, high neuroticism, low conscientiousness and high open mindedness much like myself. Maybe I'm just a narcissist. Nah I don't think so, I just don't have much faith in duality given my experiences. I frequently like my duals as friends tho. I think Enneagram instincts say a lot more about relationship compatibility. Sx-last is a big no no for me, and so is so-dom, apparently. I have this idea that heart fix in Enneagram is a pretty deciding factor too. Being with a type 3 would just be yucky.

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    I don't think my ideal has changed very drastically over the years, but I am much more aware of the specific kinds of people and personalities I should steer clear from, and which ones I should approach.

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    When I was a kid, I didn't think about my ideal lifelong partner or attractive personality traits in isolation. But certain things have always been taken for granted to be a competent of the people in my fantasies, since youth: quiet stoicism and capability and..as far as the romantic component, an ability to navigate in that sphere but not an inclination toward gush.

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    I was raised to seek a traditional partner. I'm not sure if that's still realistic.

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    Quote Originally Posted by enmity View Post
    In short, I thought I needed someone with brains but it turns out I just really wanted someone with a pretty face who would chase after me.
    When I was early teens, being the misunderstood loner was my thing and I did want someone like myself. As I got over that, more late teens and early 20s, was when I realized I probably did not need that, similar to the reasons you mentioned. I needed someone to calm my mind down just a little, not rev it up more.

    Growing up, I definitely got the message that I was not feminine enough, that society in general did not value girls who were too smart... and I remember actually breaking down emotionally one day because I couldn’t figure out how people formed relationships, how they knew they found someone they wanted to be with, that I would end up being alone because of this weakness that I perceived as something women should be able to do... Some day, I thought, maybe I could find a guy who was confident enough in his own judgment (Fe ignoring?) and own masculinity that he would not be ashamed at all by being the one to stay home and take care of the kids while I went out and worked.

    ESI-Se seems like a good fit for him, imo.

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    I used to have a big thing for "bad boy" types. Think black shirt and jeans.

    Today I dunno.

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    Bit of a tangent but this thread made me realize.. I think what I’m interested in sexually is a bit different from what I’m interested in romantically.

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    yeah when I was younger I was into pretty boys, the androgynous look, dark hair, skinny like Cillian Murphy. Probably beta NF types, though my biggest real life crush as a 17 year old was an IEE who looked like a young James McAvoy.

    But weirdly, once I started dating properly, I exclusively stuck to guys who were quite broad, muscular and 3-4D Se (and the best were Se ego). It's not that I stopped finding the above boys attractive, just that I could never seem to have the same romantic / sexual chemistry with them so my 'type' changed by necessity. Once I learned about socionics, it started to completely shift and I don't really find pretty and androgynous men attractive anymore.

    I've met LII types who I seem to have great conversational chemistry with but something in the sexual chemistry is lacking. They were never my type in the first place but worth mentioning because Se seems to be the important IM when it comes to attraction (romance styles > Ti seeking) though not necessarily for long term stable connection.
    "I take back like half of the exclamation points.....they make me look....eager to please. Which I AM....but I don't want anyone to KNOW that"
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    If many of the pop psychoanalytic theories are to be believed, then it makes sense that I've always idealized women similar to my mother (SEE) > tenderhearted powerhouses, femme fatales, and 'bad bitches.' lol My first fictional crush was probably Buffy the Vampire Slayer (SEE) > no nonsense, kick ass, fiercely loyal, heart of gold. Both of my high school girlfriends were SEE. But past the age of 20, which I suppose coincided with coming more into my own [Se] 'power,' I began to prefer less and less volitional will in a mate, which is why ESI is definitely a better fit for me. But as a general rule, I've always been the most drawn to those that embody Gamma SF attributes.

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    I used to be into extremely naive girls. Like most of Juliette Lewis' early career characters.

    I still attract that same type of girls, but at this stage of my life I prefer someone less flaky and offbeat.

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    Contrary to potential popular belief I don't really idealize/fantasize about the perfect partner. I will only fall for somebody who was there for me in a very realistic way. But if they do then I might start idealizing them lol. I don't really like the 'picture in your head' thing because well... life is different than that. And people who make their decisions based on those things seem asshole-ish and narcissistic 2 me.

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    Quote Originally Posted by COOL AND MANLY View Post
    I used to be into extremely naive girls. Like most of Juliette Lewis' early career characters.

    I still attract that same type of girls, but at this stage of my life I prefer someone less flaky and offbeat.
    Juliette Lewis is IEE and great. The emboldened words evoke for me the "child like" romance style, exemplified by the presence of strong, valued Ne; they are most drawn to caretaker types who possess strong, valued Si. You ever consider SLI [who have 4D demonstrative Ti], probably creative subtype [accentuated Ne, Fe, Se], who are among the "coolest and manliest" of all sociotypes? lol Anyway, not trying to battle type you, but that just jumped out at me.

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    So when I actually envisioned having a partner, I envisioned one very similar to myself. Probably also LII. I'd imagine having imaginary arguments with her constantly (not bad-spirited ones, but based in dry, emotionless difference of opinion), and becoming closer with each other through mutual respect we'd accrue from the other. Lol. I don't think I ever imagined being affectionate in the normal way of it. I also had a skepticism that any girls would ever like me, or that I'd ever feel open enough with a girl to ask her to stay with me.

    But when it came to who I was typically most attracted to in real life, it was another story. Looking back on it, the composite of traits I liked forms the outline of an ESE, more or less: extraverted/sociable, cheerful, active, intelligent, big-hearted, down-to-earth, casual, independent, likes to have fun often and is able to do it. Weirdly, though, while I really liked these sorts of people when I was able to meet them, at the same time they didn't feature in my imagination, almost as if it was difficult to believe that such people really existed, or as if my brain was wired to not "get" these people. I actually really made an effort to get close to people with these traits (including ESEs), but it was as if the closer a person was to being ESE, the less I'd fantasize about them or imagine being with them. I think, instead, that when I "envisioned" or idealized someone besides a female copy of me, it tended to be an IEE -- maybe because IEEs had similar enough traits with ESEs (extraversion, openness to new ideas, informality, F, and so on).

    Supervisory marriages are apparently common. Maybe it's for similar reasons?
    Every man is as God made him, ay, and often worse. - Cervantes

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    Quote Originally Posted by Alonzo View Post
    Juliette Lewis is IEE and great. The emboldened words evoke for me the "child like" romance style, exemplified by the presence of strong, valued Ne; they are most drawn to caretaker types who possess strong, valued Si. You ever consider SLI [who have 4D demonstrative Ti], probably creative subtype [accentuated Ne, Fe, Se], who are among the "coolest and manliest" of all sociotypes? lol Anyway, not trying to battle type you, but that just jumped out at me.
    Lol, it's fine. I made the same observations. I'm aware of the possibility. Even though it's an unlikely one.

    That is the third time you suggested SLI for me btw. I love it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by FreelancePoliceman View Post
    So when I actually envisioned having a partner, I envisioned one very similar to myself. Probably also LII. I'd imagine having imaginary arguments with her constantly (not bad-spirited ones, but based in dry, emotionless difference of opinion), and becoming closer with each other through mutual respect we'd accrue from the other. Lol. I don't think I ever imagined being affectionate in the normal way of it. I also had a skepticism that any girls would ever like me, or that I'd ever feel open enough with a girl to ask her to stay with me.

    But when it came to who I was typically most attracted to in real life, it was another story. Looking back on it, the composite of traits I liked forms the outline of an ESE, more or less: extraverted/sociable, cheerful, active, intelligent, big-hearted, down-to-earth, casual, independent, likes to have fun often and is able to do it. Weirdly, though, while I really liked these sorts of people when I was able to meet them, at the same time they didn't feature in my imagination, almost as if it was difficult to believe that such people really existed, or as if my brain was wired to not "get" these people. I actually really made an effort to get close to people with these traits (including ESEs), but it was as if the closer a person was to being ESE, the less I'd fantasize about them or imagine being with them. I think, instead, that when I "envisioned" or idealized someone besides a female copy of me, it tended to be an IEE -- maybe because IEEs had similar enough traits with ESEs (extraversion, openness to new ideas, informality, F, and so on).

    Supervisory marriages are apparently common. Maybe it's for similar reasons?
    I actually can't believe how friendly the ESEs I know are. It's unreal. It's everything I would want from a partner. I'm still not attracted to them on a physical level though. Excluding celebrities, every ESE I meet seems to be overweight. IEEs are slim and cute. ESEs are not. They are very sweet but they don't have the innocence and delicacy of IEEs. The descriptions of ESEs mention that they have imposing figures. But I like petite girls. I don't know if I will ever get over that.

    I know this is a bit superficial but without any physical attraction I find it hard to justify pursuing ESEs.

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    Quote Originally Posted by COOL AND MANLY View Post
    Lol, it's fine. I made the same observations. I'm aware of the possibility. Even though it's an unlikely one.

    That is the third time you suggested SLI for me btw. I love it.
    lol Nah, the first time was LSI, another cool and manly type. lol Cause you actually do 'vibe' like that. Yeah yeah, stereotypes are 'bad,' but I've never, ever, known a LII I'd call anything approaching 'cool and manly.' No disrespect to LIIs! Anything is possible, and so I'm sure they must exist, but just sayin. lol

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    I have always imagined my ideal partner as nice and sweet and intelligent. It hasn't changed even though SLEs are not described as nice and sweet in socionics literature. Most of the ones I meet are nice and sweet to me anyway.

    It isn't linked to socionics but the older I get and the more I also value emotional honesty and emotional vulnerability in a partner.

    My ideal partner fits more the description of my psyche-yoga dual (LFEV) than the one of my socionics dual.

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    Quote Originally Posted by COOL AND MANLY View Post
    I actually can't believe how friendly the ESEs I know are. It's unreal. It's everything I would want from a partner. I'm still not attracted to them on a physical level though. Excluding celebrities, every ESE I meet seems to be overweight. IEEs are slim and cute. ESEs are not. They are very sweet but they don't have the innocence and delicacy of IEEs. The descriptions of ESEs mention that they have imposing figures. But I like petite girls. I don't know if I will ever get over that.

    I know this is a bit superficial but without any physical attraction I find it hard to justify pursuing ESEs.
    Lol, yes, I've noticed ESE women tend to be overweight (and quite often very overweight) too, especially as they age. Children and teenage ESE girls are often skinny, surprisingly (I assume because their parents schedule their meals + they often do sports? I'm not sure). You occasionally get thin and normal-weight ESEs in their early twenties, but, like you, I'm not sure I've known a non-celebrity ESE woman past about 27 who isn't obese. I used to know a somewhat fit old ESE man, interestingly, but from my limited experience with male ESEs, they seem to also be generally overweight.

    If caring about your partner's physical appearance is superficial, it's a sin everyone's guilty of. I'm probably more a bit more tolerant than you when it comes to physical appearance, but this may've influenced why I overlooked ESEs.

    Re. innocence and delicacy, I don't know that those features in themselves attract me so much as the sympathy and desire to take care of the IEE that they provoke, in the way that a sappy movie tugs on your heartstrings. For instance, I had an IEE classmate who apologized to our professor for not completing her translation for the day, saying that she'd eaten a banana last night, and bananas made her sleepy, so she fell asleep a few minutes later. I felt strongly that I wanted to hug her, and keep her safe, and make sure she only ate bananas at proper times. I don't know if this is something like what Caregivers tend to think of their partners, but IEEs provoke it in me.

    ESEs are more like the hero of a fairy tale: storming the enemy castle and fighting monsters with the sheer strength of their personality and firey aura. That Se demonstrative is palpable; they fight with Fe in the way that SXEs fight with Se.

    Out of curiosity, what's your impression of EIEs as romantic-sexual partners?
    Every man is as God made him, ay, and often worse. - Cervantes

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    Quote Originally Posted by Alonzo View Post
    lol Nah, the first time was LSI, another cool and manly type. lol Cause you actually do 'vibe' like that. Yeah yeah, stereotypes are 'bad,' but I've never, ever, known a LII I'd call anything approaching 'cool and manly.' No disrespect to LIIs! Anything is possible, and so I'm sure they must exist, but just sayin. lol
    Oh wait. True. That wasn't you. I do remember someone suggested SLI for me in my typing thread.

    I honestly wouldn't mind being one. It's the type most similar to LII in terms of values and mannerism. I've fantasised about being SLI back when I got into MBTI. It would be funny if I ended up being one.

    Se-polr is evident to me though. In my last period of training as an Air Traffic Controller, I've had two things I needed to work on, that I didn't excel in naturally:

    1. Not assertive enough with pilots/colleagues/other sectors, etc. This is more of a personality trait that I've always had. I'm very amicable in person. I have always been this way. Even my instructor told me "I know you are a nice guy, but people will push you around if you let them. You need to protect your license. Sometimes you have to say no." That guy was LII as well. I could tell. I remember getting chastised for telling one pilot "Report when ready for turn." Unless he is the only one flying and he is not going to be in conflict with anyone, we are not supposed to give them options to do what they want. In my initial period of training I used to say yes to every pilot request. I was too accommodating. I made things harder for myself unnecessarily because someone wanted to do a certain speed when in reality the assigned speed I gave him would make things easier for me and it wouldn't make any difference to him. Now I make every decision for them, and they have to tell me if they are unable to comply. It's a weird concept to me, but that is how it works.
    2. Slow reaction to conflict in unusual situations. Note the bold, I think that is what people misunderstand about having a weak function. The function doesn't cease to exit just because it's weak. It's just unable to adapt as fast as a strong function. I'm able to deal with it in the context of work after extensive training only. As for for my vibe on the internet, I don't know how long have you been on forums, but I've been posting on forums since I was 12, I'm 30 now. I met all kinds of people and I generally know how to carry myself. It's one of the few forms of sites that I feel really comfortable with. I'm not on any social network. But I still have like 5 active accounts on different forums. Probably would be more if some of them were still running.

    I've done research on the subject and apparently ISTJs (MBTI) are over-represented in ATC. It's not all that is needed but I'm pretty sure having a strong Se makes being an Air Traffic Controller much easier to some degree. The world Controller is there for a reason.

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    Quote Originally Posted by COOL AND MANLY View Post
    Oh wait. True. That wasn't you. I do remember someone suggested SLI for me in my typing thread.

    I honestly wouldn't mind being one. It's the type most similar to LII in terms of values and mannerism. I've fantasised about being SLI back when I got into MBTI. It would be funny if I ended up being one.

    Se-polr is evident to me though. In my last period of training as an Air Traffic Controller, I've had two things I needed to work on, that I didn't excel in naturally:

    1. Not assertive enough with pilots/colleagues/other sectors, etc. This is more of a personality trait that I've always had. I'm very amicable in person. I have always been this way. Even my instructor told me "I know you are a nice guy, but people will push you around if you let them. You need to protect your license. Sometimes you have to say no." That guy was LII as well. I could tell. I remember getting chastised for telling one pilot "Report when ready for turn." Unless he is the only one flying and he is not going to be in conflict with anyone, we are not supposed to give them options to do what they want. In my initial period of training I used to say yes to every pilot request. I was too accommodating. I made things harder for myself unnecessarily because someone wanted to do a certain speed when in reality the assigned speed I gave him would make things easier for me and it wouldn't make any difference to him. Now I make every decision for them, and they have to tell me if they are unable to comply. It's a weird concept to me, but that is how it works.
    2. Slow reaction to conflict in unusual situations. Note the bold, I think that is what people misunderstand about having a weak function. The function doesn't cease to exit just because it's weak. It's just unable to adapt as fast as a strong function. I'm able to deal with it in the context of work after extensive training only. As for for my vibe on the internet, I don't know how long have you been on forums, but I've been posting on forums since I was 12, I'm 30 now. I met all kinds of people and I generally know how to carry myself. It's one of the few forms of sites that I feel really comfortable with. I'm not on any social network. But I still have like 5 active accounts on different forums. Probably would be more if some of them were still running.

    I've done research on the subject and apparently ISTJs (MBTI) are over-represented in ATC. It's not all that is needed but I'm pretty sure having a strong Se makes being an Air Traffic Controller much easier to some degree. The world Controller is there for a reason.
    This may sound stupid and entirely contradictory of Socionics, but I’ve actually found that LSIs generally try to avoid confrontations if they’re unsure of how they’ll affect future relations. They may instigate them if they know they’re speaking from a position of power, or if they’re on familiar enough terms with whoever they’re addressing to know how it’ll play out. Otherwise I’ve seen LSIs go months without addressing someone who was a thorn in their side, just because they preferred to silently deal with the problem for an indefinite period of time rather than risk a blowup.

    Not that I’m saying you’re LSI. But sometimes I feel that Se is misdefined in Socionics; it’s too often associated with aggression or force.
    Every man is as God made him, ay, and often worse. - Cervantes

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    Quote Originally Posted by FreelancePoliceman View Post
    Out of curiosity, what's your impression of EIEs as romantic-sexual partners?
    No idea honestly. I have not been close to too many EIEs to say for sure. I've crushed on Beta NFs but I always get the feeling that it's one sided. It doesn't feel good. Maybe it's just my impression. I don't know how LSIs react to that, but to me someone who is playing hard to get is asking for too much investment on my part. I'm not hopelessly romantic enough to chase someone unattainable, or acting as if they are.

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    Quote Originally Posted by FreelancePoliceman View Post
    This may sound stupid and entirely contradictory of Socionics, but I’ve actually found that LSIs generally try to avoid confrontations if they’re unsure of how they’ll affect future relations. They may instigate them if they know they’re speaking from a position of power, or if they’re on familiar enough terms with whoever they’re addressing to know how it’ll play out. Otherwise I’ve seen LSIs go months without addressing someone who was a thorn in their side, just because they preferred to silently deal with the problem for an indefinite period of time rather than risk a blowup.

    Not that I’m saying you’re LSI. But sometimes I feel that Se is misdefined in Socionics; it’s too often associated with aggression or force.
    I agree.

    Just to clarify. I do think Spatial Manipulation in the socionics sense is a big trait of Se. That is what I was referring to in my second point.

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    Quote Originally Posted by FreelancePoliceman View Post
    This may sound stupid and entirely contradictory of Socionics, but I’ve actually found that LSIs generally try to avoid confrontations if they’re unsure of how they’ll affect future relations. They may instigate them if they know they’re speaking from a position of power, or if they’re on familiar enough terms with whoever they’re addressing to know how it’ll play out. Otherwise I’ve seen LSIs go months without addressing someone who was a thorn in their side, just because they preferred to silently deal with the problem for an indefinite period of time rather than risk a blowup.

    Not that I’m saying you’re LSI. But sometimes I feel that Se is misdefined in Socionics; it’s too often associated with aggression or force.
    I agree, I just think that the creative function is never a good example of an element. It's more situational and on/off when creative. I've worked closely with LSI and Se creative can be very apparent in the heat of the moment at work. And always incorporated under Ti. Sometimes it is very subtle.

    aggression or force are good as hints. It's more like "look for something like that".
    A true sense-perception certainly exists, but it always looks as though objects were not so much forcing their way into the subject in their own right as that the subject were seeing things quite differently, or saw quite other things than the rest of mankind. As a matter of fact, the subject perceives the same things as everybody else, only, he never stops at the purely objective effect, but concerns himself with the subjective perception released by the objective stimulus.
    (Jung on Si)


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  28. #28
    a two horned unicorn renegade CoViD Spurdo 007's Avatar
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    Gulenko says that LSI wants to be part of strong Fe roller coaster ride given by EIE.
    Measuring you right now

    Winning is for losers

     

    Sincerely yours,
    idiosyncratic type

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    Quote Originally Posted by Heretic 007 View Post
    Gulenko says that LSI wants to be part of strong Fe roller coaster ride given by EIE.
    Until the roller coaster ride destroys the LSI’s life.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    Until the roller coaster ride destroys the LSI’s life.
    Isn't that (p)art of the deal?

    Just check out Shakespeare. Was Romeo and Juliet particularly happily ever after story? No, but still lots of people drool after it.
    Last edited by CoViD Spurdo 007; 03-02-2020 at 05:22 PM.
    Measuring you right now

    Winning is for losers

     

    Sincerely yours,
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    I think I’m attracted to “vulnerable”-seeming guys, basically. That seems weird and creepy, but I don’t really let go and open up emotionally otherwise. There needs to be a model there for me lol. I think this has being an underlying factor throughout my whole life.

    There have been blips in the middle but I think I always felt a bit different ever since I was a kid, so I didn’t really hold any assumptions over the kind of guy I should like. I think also that most people can understand how many different types of people can be attractive to others in general. I think I’ve always had a somewhat weird taste for guys and I was an early bloomer too. I mean I was sometimes attracted to the masculine superhero type too but generally I was more fixated with mysterious dark emo nerds.

     
    However, sexually, I’ll never forget being pounded from behind by my alt-right SEE fling ex. I guess I could consider him politically mysterious and weird and vulnerable mentally though.
    Last edited by sbbds; 03-03-2020 at 12:58 AM.

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    All the partners I imagined as a kid were Ne-base. They were smart but didn't listen to authority and had weird ideas and generally a bit charismatic. Clever and could get out of problems.

    But the "me" character in my stories was always not really like me, much more capable, much more emotionally contained. Probably much more like my online persona than that shitshow mix of fluffiness, melancholy, sudden crying in public, needing to please, etc, of reality.

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    I used to want to be the knight who saved the princess as a kid, or a magician, the kind who saves the day, ya kno.
    Now I just want to be alone 'cause I can't save anyone, mostly from themselves, and that's generaly what people who have an interest in me are looking for. If I ever get close to someone, we will both have what it takes to live a whole and fulfilling life without the other; being close to someone is an extra to me, not a necessity... mostly since close relationships felt more like burdens and obligations than anything else in the past, and that's not good for anyone.

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    I think I’m attracted to “vulnerable”-seeming guys, basically. That seems weird and creepy, but I don’t really let go and open up emotionally otherwise


    I don't think it's weird or creepy. A relationship naturally makes you vulnerable, so it makes sense to me...

    I guess society has this kinda basic bitch normative thing where we think only children can be vulnerable. Of course in a very uhh idk over the top Delta normal way- kids are obviously more vulnerable than adults and need greater protections because of it, due to natural innocence and naivety and such but I mean we're human. You don't really instantly become 'hardened' and lacking vulnerability when you turn 18- it's kind of ridiculous that we have that notion. Certain vulnerabilities stay with us regardless of our age or experience. Of course there is certain expectations and levels of culpability we give kids vs adults but vulnerability in its raw form doesn't work that way... it's like bad Ni that we ignore this so much I think? lol

    What is creepy is people who actually molest kids and stuff. Liking vulnerability in consenting adult-age partners is not creepy- just misunderstood. I only mention the pedo angle because it seems like twisting the two together is how some dumb people might think it's creepy when it's not. (and people who have this oversimplified view that adults are never allowed to be vulnerable.)

    God I don't think I could genuinely love a 'perfect, 110% tough person' that has everything figured out and has no vulnerability whatsoever. I would probably even greatly dislike that type of person? lol it seems like an illusion or a concept or a profession more than an actual person anyway.



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    I think when I was a kid I just pictured someone like me but a girl, maybe more outgoing to help me with that, so maybe a mirror type. I just wanted someone that liked wut I liked and understood me. I didn't picture anything close to my dual, except maybe for extraversion. All I know now is that Se in women is attractive to me and I frikkin hate it.
    Last edited by Lord Pixel; 04-17-2020 at 06:54 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by FreelancePoliceman View Post
    This may sound stupid and entirely contradictory of Socionics, but I’ve actually found that LSIs generally try to avoid confrontations if they’re unsure of how they’ll affect future relations. They may instigate them if they know they’re speaking from a position of power, or if they’re on familiar enough terms with whoever they’re addressing to know how it’ll play out. Otherwise I’ve seen LSIs go months without addressing someone who was a thorn in their side, just because they preferred to silently deal with the problem for an indefinite period of time rather than risk a blowup.

    Not that I’m saying you’re LSI. But sometimes I feel that Se is misdefined in Socionics; it’s too often associated with aggression or force.
    I don't think Se is the issue. LSIs are not just Se. I think seeing a type as a single IM is the issue.

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    I never desired a real partner until I turned 19 or something like that.

    As a child I felt attraction towards two pretty and gracious looking girls. Princess archetype, lol.

    As a preteen I just liked big boobs and ass.

    As a teen I fell in love (?) with a very pretty girl for 4 years, who also had really gracious and soft manners. It was still the "princess" kind of girl. Very innocent look. But I never was the one initiating the contact. Talking to her made me feel all good, but I just waited for those moments to happen naturally. Weird thing is I didn't like the idea of getting into a relationship with her. Too much social bullshit to endure.

    Then at around 19 years i "woke up" and was like: "Well, I'd like to try out this social bullshit". In those first years I hooked up mostly with the super emotionally intense and extreme kind of girls, but they ain't really my thing. It's just that being an outcast I tend to attract people that are even crazier than me and for some reason they liked me.

    Right now my ideal kind of girl is one that's not judgemental. I want her to joke with me. One that prefers tranquillity and comfort over all that's extreme. She has to be gentle.

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    Quote Originally Posted by remiges View Post
    When you were younger, before learning about Socionics - did you ever think about what your ideal partner would be like with respect to personality (excluding physical traits, social class for now)?
    I had significant feelings to semiduality girl in my class. The common impressions about base Fi people and what emotions inspire supplementary IR was the main part of my ideal from school times.

    > Why were you interested in those traits? Does it match what you now consider your dual?

    you irrationally like something and feel good when get it
    yes. if to understand types correctly - it's expected to be

    my experience with people of different types is the base of my interest to Socionics which explained why was so. in other case it would be hard to get the significant interest. Socionics is a hypothesis, so there was no good reasons to trust it
    Types examples: video bloggers, actors

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