SEIs/ISFps and relationships

[Rusal]

SEI (...) will cry much more easily if someone is mean to them.

We have a tendency to tear up easily, it’s true. I actually thought of adding something on that in the original post but I didn’t in the end since I thought it would come off as too manipulative when it’s really not. But since the topic’s come up…

I'll retake the case of jealous partner. Let’s say the SEI victim of his jealousy is a woman. Since his irrationality is hard to take she might actually start crying but if the argument grows more intense and she sees her freedom hanging from a thread there will be a moment in some part of it where everything will instantly go from confusion to clarity. It’s hard to describe but it’ll feel like a fog’s been lifted. Suddenly she’ll know how to proceed and not care about the consequences much. There’s a certain coldness to that.

Just like with other types of arguments I can rememember where I might tear up and mean it, but there have been times when the exterior does not reflect what’s going inside. Literally I can be sobbing and a rush of coldness with hit me. I will feel nothing but tears are still on my face. I’ll have to be careful then because I'll see I’m the one in control of the conversation and decide how it will end.

[Northstar]

We have a tendency to tear up easily, it’s true. I actually thought of adding something on that in the original post but I didn’t in the end since I thought it would come off as too manipulative when it’s really not. But since the topic’s come up…

I'll retake the case of jealous partner. Let’s say the SEI victim of his jealousy is a woman. Since his irrationality is hard to take she might actually start crying but if the argument grows more intense and she sees her freedom hanging from a thread there will be a moment in some part of it where everything will instantly go from confusion to clarity. It’s hard to describe but it’ll feel like a fog’s been lifted. Suddenly she’ll know how to proceed and not care about the consequences much. There’s a certain coldness to that.

Just like with other types of arguments I can rememember where I might tear up and mean it, but there have been times when the exterior does not reflect what’s going inside. Literally I can be sobbing and a rush of coldness with hit me. I will feel nothing but tears are still on my face. I’ll have to be careful then because I'll see I’m the one in control of the conversation and decide how it will end.

That's exactly my experience of a long relationship with a SEI. She actually described it the same way, after inconsolable crying there comes a cold numb resolve.
There is a hard core but it takes a lot for it to come out and it will disappear quickly without a trace. I've also seen my timid and unassuming SEI mother explode with rage on very rare occasions.
SEI are definitely among the sweetest and most innocent of all types there are, one of the biggest regrets in my life still is treating one badly.

[MissDucki]

That's exactly my experience of a long relationship with a SEI. She actually described it the same way, after inconsolable crying there comes a cold numb resolve.
There is a hard core but it takes a lot for it to come out and it will disappear quickly without a trace. I've also seen my timid and unassuming SEI mother explode with rage on very rare occasions.
SEI are definitely among the sweetest and most innocent of all types there are, one of the biggest regrets in my life still is treating one badly.

Would like to comment on this as even @Poptart has mentioned this. Being soft like an avocado both inside and outside while having a hard core. I personally agree with it myself. I think a lot of people seem to underestimate the sweetness of the SEI and the empathy they can provide while both assuming they have a too tender heart. I have had time where I needed to access that cold hard-ness myself but it is very much there and I am aware of it. While I am very warm and caring towards others and willing to sacrifice a lot, I am not afraid to burn the bridge without second thought once I see the cold reality of the larger picture. The only difficult part is getting past the emotions and it often takes a very long time to see it. What needs to be done will be done. There was a point of time in my last job and I had enough, I was crying for weeks and extremely emotional upset. Once I came to my own cold resolve, I was putting out resumes very quickly and looking hard. My ESE coworker was surprised how quickly I changed my tune and was able to find another job in two weeks. I got lucky. I coldly cut off others when I saw the big picture that things were not going to change and I saw that the most likely realistic future of this relationship would not be positive nor realistic. I know that while I can't willingly access the hard core, I know that is a fail safe system for me no matter what.

I like to think that Alphas are very realistic at their core, but choose to defy cold realism for the sake of idealism because that is not the life they want to live and want to choose a 'bright future' instead of truly 'accepting' a cold realism. I prefer choosing to live in idealism then accepting a cold realism. However, I think people don't realize how coldly accepting and how quickly I can mobilize once I accept it.

[Baqer]

I like to think that Alphas are very realistic at their core, but choose to defy cold realism for the sake of idealism because that is not the life they want to live and want to choose a 'bright future' instead of truly 'accepting' a cold realism. I prefer choosing to live in idealism then accepting a cold realism. However, I think people don't realize how coldly accepting and how quickly I can mobilize once I accept it.

"Accepting" a cold realism is giving up all hope of a better future, saying that where we are now is the best possible. Which is stupid. Idealic futures may be impossible, but aiming for them gets reality a little closer each time.