Last edited by Ajna; 03-11-2020 at 03:38 PM.
My first impression is LII. I have a sister who is LII, and I see some similarities between the two of you.
My LII sister has an advanced degree in chemistry, but she chose not to work in that field. Instead, she got a job stocking shelves in an organic grocery store. An ILI friend of mine created a job for her in his department in the University to be close to her, but she excelled at the job and avoided him. She is in charge of the University's phone system, so she's doing Ti every day, and doesn't have to interact with anyone in person. She says it's the perfect job for her.
She suffers from depression and has tried to kill herself twice that I know of. The first time, she drank herself to the point where she stopped breathing. When she was found, she was taken to the hospital and her blood was changed. She set the highest alcohol blood level of anyone in the State of Ohio who is still alive. After about three years, she was able to speak again without slurring.
The second suicide attempt was with a 9mm handgun, and she lived because the gun jammed. She pulled the trigger several times. When she pointed the gun at the ground instead of her head and fired it, it went off. She later told me that she thought God was fucking with her.
If you drink a lot, or feel suicidal, talk to a therapist who has Fe, assuming that you are an LII. Talk to a therapist no matter what type you are.
My sister has had many BF's and has been married several times. The guy she liked the best was an EIE airline pilot. The latest guy is an LSE who is very well off. I don't think she's ever met an ESE. Her relationships crash and burn because she can't get what she needs from these guys. She needs a Caregiver with Fe, pretty much like the guy you described as being ideal.
Best of luck to you.
Last edited by Adam Strange; 02-14-2020 at 06:42 PM.
I would bet on alpha personally. I think that Mr. Strange is right on the money when it comes to LII. The things that you value most seem like a beautiful combination of Alpha ideals though any society could benefit from having those
A lot of what you said reminds me of someone I know who belongs to the alpha quadra (LII or ILE likely). Your picture also gave me an alpha vibe when I saw it, I thought honestly SEI at first because there was a vibe like someone else I know who has been VI'ed as SEI. I don't think you are SEI though based on the information you shared, I agree on NT.
LII seems most likely.
I also found out that my bestfriend and mother (which I don't have a healthy relationship with) are ESE, and I thought the conflictor relationship that ILI's have made a lot more sense than being my dual, like LII-ESE.
LII also seem to be very easily embarrassed by improper behaviour in public and can't for the life of them deal with illogical people. It's like they totally refuse or cannot read between the lines and their attempts to be "crystal clear" have the opposite effect on people that are poor with logic. LII can be very stubborn, offended by and resistant to pressuring. Instead they can be easily persuaded by offering comfort (good food for example) and socialization with a small circle of trusted friends. Whereas ILI I think can be more cryptic as in throwing out half-formulated non sequiturs that only make sense if you start guessing what they could have been thinking of (jumping several steps ahead without voicing it). As well as being responsive to being pressured to do something. The LII I know can't stand ILI, thinks they are weird, illogical in conversation and focus on irrelevant things.
FWIW I think you look like LII too.
The issues with bullies and viewing America's gun culture as "uncivilized" definitely sounds Se polr to me.
J acts in relationships different than P types. J types like and expect reciprocity and attentiveness from others. They expect some protocol, follow some path.I make friends very easily, but I'm very unstable with people I care about. I'm a good friend, but I become very detached with people I become more intimate with. I don't like social responsibilities (like HAVING to answer texts back, justifying myself to others...) so I keep relationships minimal. I could spent months without talking with my family and not caring about it (and I usually do). I usually cut off people from my life easily. I currently only have my boyfriend, and one long term friend that I very occasionally talk with. (We drifted apart/I tried to cut ties with her due to the only thing we had in common being knowing each other for ages). I look for deeper connections without the need for words, which I found with my boyfriend. I look for someone witty who can make me laugh and take me out of my serious mellow mood. I usually am attracted to extroverts because they can raise the bar on what is socially acceptable and therefore I end up sharing more of myself. I want someone who is able to think for themselves above all else. I don't have conflicts at all. It's all very peaceful except when my intimate ones act ignorant, then I'm usually the one who flips. Conflicts only happen usually with my mother, she's an ESFj. With people I'm not intimate with I'm very polite and friendly and never ever have problems with, it only happens with people I care about - I can be very mean and cruel, cold and selfish. I think my boyfriend is ENFp.
Their dual is ESFj after all and ESFj are very attentive to ppl they care about. It means talking to them frequently, act mommy like etc. That said, J types expect certain acts from others as its a rational approach contrary to P types (irrational) who move on impulse and see relationships with more flexibility. Then, you say you need someone who understands you without words. INTj are highly logical and rationals. They enjoy chatting with people they care and get connection through it. ESFj is their dual and ESFj talk A LOT. You find more connection with Ne ppl than with your dual (INTj's dual is ESFj). I think SEI sounds more reasonable from what you wrote.
Also, I don't see lack or flat emotionality as LII would have, it seems more like a lot of emotionality that's restrained due past experiences. Like tranquil and peaceful water that hides deep down the kraken. But you know yourself better.
So I basically skimmed through the questionnaire [nothing very contrary to introduction] and found the most interesting bits outside...
Like the friends part. I usually look like someone who possibly has very wide social circles but that is not true at all. The truth can be quite surprising to many. While there is an ability to entertain people I just don't continue the process to the bonding phase. Being loud and and funny but rest of it can be quite meh [Interesting anecdote: there is a study about people who are stand up comedians and many of them go through similar process - introverted anhedonia and they do not tend to give a lot of thought to their relatedness to the crowd].
Last edited by Existential Ibuprofen; 02-16-2020 at 11:39 PM.
MOTTO: NEVER TRUST IN REALITY
Winning is for losers
Life is a joke but do you have a life?
An Alpha introvert, probably. Perhaps SLI as a third option. Here’s what suggests SEI from what you wrote:
-you like art (from movies to singing), nutrition, Eastern philosophy and neuroscience
-you don’t like having to justify yourself
- you generally prefer peaceful environments
- you can feel somewhat detached from people
- you seem to have an issue with serious lack of erudition and rudeness in others
- you consider yourself independent
- you think you can express yourself more accurately in writing
- a desire to move abroad, to get away
- you see yourself as the reactor to conflict and not the instigator
- you like comfortable clothes
- you got bullied at school for standing up for the bullied
- outwardly sympathetic yet more neutral on the inside when confronted with other people’s emotions
So it’s either SEI or LII for you. The thing about many SEI women is that they can, when young, walk about as a posterchild for nerdiness, dressed unfashionably and spouting facts about films, music, books and things “out there” no one gives two figs about, so they can be superficially associated with an NT type. Ultimately, you know yourself better.
I know there might be some stereotypical interests of each type, but I think those shouldn't be considered when typing someone.
I've been reading a lot about Si/Se lately and I couldn't possibly be a Si-Dom. But I do value Si above Se.
I know for sure I'm an intuitive, I'm extremely open minded and unconventional in the way I show myself to the world, I like the weirdness and the shock factor, and I have no problems sharing it with others. I never ever live in the here and now, and prefer to focus on the big picture and hidden meanings of things, much less on concrete and details. I really have a knack for conjuring possible hidden meanings and interpretations, to the point I thought my dominant function might be Intuition, but I didn't know which.
My mother is an ESE and I can very distinctively understand the contrast between our ways of looking at the world. I'm everything that she's not. My ex best friend was also ESE. We had nothing in common except the fact that we knew each other for a long time. Then I read about duals (I discovered ESE is LII's dual, go figure) and some things started making sense.
I know I have sketchy morals sometimes and an inability to provide an harmonious atmosphere for people, as most Fe types can. I envy that, but I feel like I lack understanding of how others feel and awareness of how my moods can affect others. Fi would make much more sense. But I always rationalize everything first and foremost, and that is something that most strangers can picture very clearly about me too in first impressions (strangers, college colleagues, doctors, psychiatrists have mentioned this in the past), I think I have a very top-down approach to life, if that makes sense.
So for now LII made a lot of sense, but some ILEs on the forum related a lot to what I shared, and I'm starting to get a lot of suggestions that I might be ILE. And SEI is ILE's dual, but I don't know what to make of it.
What do you think of ILE?
Here's a strange one: IEI
I find it telling that of all the things you could relate intuition to, what occupies a great deal in your mind seems to be the idea of casting light on opaque objects in the humanities field, since interpretation and meaning is mostly within the sphere of human intention. Uncovering and understanding hidden meanings sounds like Ti hidden agenda, which could be the reason why an SEI is generally perceptive to the “this is not a pipe” idea. This is a mind that has an inclination for literary devices in the arts (and beyond) since there’s representation but it’s notation for something else.
The ILE I know talks about his love for understanding the inner workings of technology (he’s aiming for a degree in engineering) but I haven’t heard him say that he perceives knowledge as something not quite attainable for him unless he removes a veil of some sort. It’s a more open approach.
Last edited by Rusal; 02-27-2020 at 04:16 AM.