There are many non-socionics factors that could attribute to one feeling out-of-synch with certain subgroups from your own quadra. E.g. the social environment you grew up in. Speaking in very generalized terms: I grew up in a labor-class neighborhood of Amsterdam, where the culture was largely Beta. But I am from a family with potential to upwards cultural social mobility (as opposed to economic upward mobility) . Also because of that I have a psychology of a more liberal minded Delta. That doesn't mix well with e.g. the very strict type of self-control one sees in bible belt Calvinists in my country (we too have a bible belt over here). In my moral attitudes I am clearly a Delta, but even when there are clear similarities in moral attitudes between liberal Deltas such as myself and conservative Calvinist Deltas, and the style is similar, the content of these moral attitudes is not.
Socionics is about style, but not about content. Still, content matters too in interpersonal interactions, which can explain why we cannot always be ourselves with other members from our own quadra.
I am in a relationship with an SEI woman. There are frictions in our relationship because of quadra differences, but in other ways we get along fine. This is because we share a common (sub)cultural background. My GF too is from a labor class background, from a family with potential to upwards social mobility. Both of us can't properly mingle with other people from other social classes, not even the social class we both came from, we just do not fit in very well. We do, however, mingle very well with other people like us that have outgrown their own social class. All of us people too big to be the table napkin, too small to be the table cloth. Our styles are different, but our contents are the same. That is a common denominator just as well.
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