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Thread: Not your typical caregiver - is it function related?

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    Default Not your typical caregiver - is it function related?

    This was something hard to admit. Overall I see myself as someone who generally cares for people. I'm very much concerned with fairness and treating others equally in non discriminating and judgmental way. I have been upset by injustice and unfairness. I like these utopian visions where everyone accepts (not necessarily like) everyone and deal with each others with respect. That is why I try everyone to feel understood and accepted. Even if someone behave bad or cruel, my first intention have always been to find the reason of their behaviour/attitude, the primary cause which could start such development in those people, don't jugde at first and even try to advocate for that person deserving a fair chance if really some great suffering or other unhappy circumstances brought up the bad traits in person.

    Because of this I have seen myself for a long time as a typical "caregiver" or even "saviour". However, I realized that when it comes down to concrete individuals and concrete actions, I'm far away from this. I would say I can provide mainly psychological support (eg. listening to someone, being non-judgemental, provide analysis, insights or some ideas...), but I'm not sure that it's the actuall person I care about instead of the idea of how things should be in the ideal world (more personal vs more impersonall approach).

    Not to mention what happens when comes to providing physical help and taking care of someone's physical needs. I have always new it was draining for me it's draining to that degree it's even irritating (eg. dinner situation - I truly love my husband and I care for him, but preparing him a dinner every day, even when it's some really simple dish, is so much annoying and generally I'm the most satisfied when each of us can take care for his own meal himself - of course it's even better if he prepares for me too). The scary thing is that, as a female, I really don't see similar attitude in my surroundings. Most of my female relatives (my mum, my sister) and friends I know are genuinely happy (or glad, at least) when they can provide their spouses, even friends (or inanimate objects, as their homes) with physical care and satisfying needs in a physical way.

    The second factor why I don't seek and offer providing of physical help is probably that I suck in a lot of "common practical skills" (my mother for example even thinks I have dyspraxia).

    So, at the end of the day, I'm really not someone who is a helpful, hands-on "caregiver", and I actually hope other people won't expect it from me.

    This all is also connected to my problem with settle on T or F, because what I interpret as care for people could be just care for the idea of some distant utopian humanity and humane values in general more than actual concrete people (their mood, their needs, their actuall satisfaction).

    What functions can you identify as playing a role in this?

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    ESE women are the most stereotypically hands on caregiver ish in the most obvious sense - but I have found they can also be quite harsh/borderline cruel with certain humanitarian topics because they just kind of believe in treating everybody physically fairly in this Ni polr why where emotionally, everybody ends up feeling kind of blah instead of everybody being inspired, even though they have food in their tummies and warm blankets from the ESE's physical care giver-y ness. Its like they will be overly universal, but then gammas are like "No, we are talking about THIS now ESE"

    SEE women... will be sensual & caring to those they care about in the Fi sense. Very loving and sexual, but also standoff-ish/bitchy if they don't quite trust you yet.

    LSE women ironically care by being so judgmental with others, their level of strict judging and how much should God-really-punish-you-for-that is how they care, which is kinda ironic but it works for them. They also can make cute gifts for others though. <3

    IEE women will care about others from a distance in a SJW-ish kinda way, and care about humane rights and stuff- but they don't really get their hands dirty about anything. That is what their duals are for. If they do have to physically care- I have noticed they do it in a kind of hurried rush like they obviously don't want to do it and wish somebody else would.

    IEI women will care about others in a way that is similiar to this, with Si role they can be physically caregiving but it's done in a very terse and awkward way. lol @ awkward two dimensional Si. They also of course will be more caring to you the more self-confident and studly you are. The right Chad can even make them be a lot more physical and do stuff they normally hate doing like cleaning and cooking.

    SLE women feel the opposite of this in the sense, the more genuinely vulnerable and nice/sweet you are the more they will want to be caregiving with you. But due to their Fi polr it is often misguided as they don't really judge how nice/mean somebody is being all that well because of it.

    ILI women will caregive, but NOT if you are being too Fe- so they usually are repulsed by me and want to throw me down a lava pit however the few secret times I can be more Fi, they will want to be more caring to me. Like all ILIs, they gauge how they should treat you by a strict adherence to Fi.

    LSI women seem to be caregiving not directly at all but in a sense of being fair and calm with others, by being so logically calm this is how it feels they are caring. But I mean, logical types are obviously not going to really come across as caregiving ish as ethical types generally speaking. In a way though this makes them better caregivers because its more subtle and not as obvious. If the LSI woman is 'unhealthy' too much though- then they are probably the type that comes across the most cold and hurtful.

    LII women can care so much, almost to the borderline point of even coming across as ethical types- as they are introverted women who can care quite deeply however they have the complete opposite functions as ESE women in ways so it will just be kind of weird.

    (sorry I only thought about women in this post. But there's only two things I ever really think about: str8 females and hot Chads. My brain cannot process anything else, sorry.)

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