Hypothesis: whenever a happy person and a sad person get into a conflict, they both call each other bullies or abusive, because the sad person thinks the happy one is immoral, and the happy one thinks the sad one is envious. In reality, it's nothing like someone with an actual rank abusing power, such as a sergeant abusing a private, but simply a conflict between an adaptive and maladaptive value system. Thus do people sabotage themselves.