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Thread: How to get an ESFP back?

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    Default How to get an ESFP back?

    My ESFP girlfriend who I loved with my whole heart and soul completely blindsided me with a breakup.

    Everything she was doing and saying made me think she was totally in love with me and happy.

    She said a bunch of reasons why she broke up with me none of them really made any sense.

    I want to get back together with her but I donít know how. Iíve never felt a connection like this before and will do anything I can to get her back and make it work. I think connections like this are very rare in this world and life.

    So please, how can I go about getting her back?? Any tips, advice, suggestions, anything that will help.

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    Adam Strange's Avatar
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    My impression of SEE's is that, once they decide to leave, they are gone for good.

    I feel bad for you, because I think I know how you feel.

    I was married to a woman whom I thought I'd be with for the rest of my life. She had other ideas and one day, a moving van showed up in front of our house.

    I tried to get her back for a few years. I asked her what it would take to get her back, and her answers just got more and more ridiculous. I asked her why she left, and every time she'd have a different reason.

    Eventually, I divorced her. I should have done that the day she left.

    Move on. The SEE thought you guys were not a good match. Believe her. Find someone who thinks you are the greatest thing since sliced bread.

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    mindless Aeris's Avatar
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    I tend to leave people, even just friends, because I find most relationships suffocating. Why, I'm not sure and they generaly think I like them and everything is fine. And I do like them but I'm somehow unhappy. It's my problem and, while it sucks for others, they generaly are the one coming towards me and I just back off until they stop.
    Maybe she doesn't even know why or even what is wrong, or she doesn't want to hurt your feelings by being honest. I'd say let her go, care for yourself first and foremost, no one can force others to feel anything or uphold a relationship they don't want of for any reasons. Accepting it and moving on is probably your best bet right now.

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    The worst possible thing you can do right now is pursue this artificially, so I would suggest you forget this thread exists and go out and deal with the world in all its messy goodness so that you can have a real solution.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ouronis View Post
    The worst possible thing you can do right now is pursue this artificially, so I would suggest you forget this thread exists and go out and deal with the world in all its messy goodness so that you can have a real solution.
    Seconding this. For all the magic of Socionics, this forum isn’t going to get your girlfriend back. Searching online for a solution will never help either to get her back or to help you accept her loss. You need to face this yourself, and really think through what you want to do.

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    Quote Originally Posted by phi View Post
    I tend to leave people, even just friends, because I find most relationships suffocating. Why, I'm not sure and they generaly think I like them and everything is fine. And I do like them but I'm somehow unhappy. It's my problem and, while it sucks for others, they generaly are the one coming towards me and I just back off until they stop.
    Maybe she doesn't even know why or even what is wrong, or she doesn't want to hurt your feelings by being honest. I'd say let her go, care for yourself first and foremost, no one can force others to feel anything or uphold a relationship they don't want of for any reasons. Accepting it and moving on is probably your best bet right now.
    Quote Originally Posted by ouronis View Post
    The worst possible thing you can do right now is pursue this artificially, so I would suggest you forget this thread exists and go out and deal with the world in all its messy goodness so that you can have a real solution.
    I'm not trying to do anything artificially. She's connected to my social circle so I do have the opportunity to see her.

    Our relationship seemed great all the way till the very end when she completely blindsided me with this break up. Gave me a bunch of reasons (sounded more like excuses) that made absolutely no sense.

    Before she turned cold on me, she was always telling me how happy she was, how much she loved me, how much fun she was having with me.

    I want to try to get her back because I feel like we were never really given a chance to make it work because she never once tried to communicate with me. We had amazing chemistry, had a lot in common, liked to do a lot of the same things, but also had enough differences to learn from each other and keep things interesting. I know connections like this are rare, I've been out there, and its just sad for it to be short changed like this.

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    Quote Originally Posted by L90 View Post
    I'm not trying to do anything artificially. She's connected to my social circle so I do have the opportunity to see her.

    Our relationship seemed great all the way till the very end when she completely blindsided me with this break up. Gave me a bunch of reasons (sounded more like excuses) that made absolutely no sense.

    Before she turned cold on me, she was always telling me how happy she was, how much she loved me, how much fun she was having with me.

    I want to try to get her back because I feel like we were never really given a chance to make it work because she never once tried to communicate with me. We had amazing chemistry, had a lot in common, liked to do a lot of the same things, but also had enough differences to learn from each other and keep things interesting. I know connections like this are rare, I've been out there, and its just sad for it to be short changed like this
    .
    It's possible to be having a good time at a moment and say it, but you don't feel the same after, once you're alone and seeing the whole. I've had people try to get me back because we had chimestry and shit like you said, as they said but I didn't see it, I didn't feel it. What I'm saying is that you know about your side of the story, not hers.

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    Heh, same. So it's not just me. I'm sure my situation is different, but she never came back. She wanted to be friends, but I couldn't stomach it. I was devastated and now I'm a bit weary of intimate relationships. It kind of made me weary about intimate relations and a lot more happy with just being by myself. A psychologist might think that's unhealthy, but it's hard to care when the capacity to care is gone. But anyway, good luck. If you have some "real/good" friends, they are probably worth spending more time with anyway.
    previously Megadoodoo

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    Did you try gifting her a bong?
    And I'm what you desire, like a siren in the night



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    Quote Originally Posted by squark View Post
    She'll probably wander back when she gets bored of whatever she's doing. . .and by then you won't want her anymore.
    Too true

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    Quote Originally Posted by L90 View Post
    My ESFP girlfriend who I loved with my whole heart and soul completely blindsided me with a breakup.

    Everything she was doing and saying made me think she was totally in love with me and happy.

    She said a bunch of reasons why she broke up with me none of them really made any sense.

    I want to get back together with her but I don’t know how. I’ve never felt a connection like this before and will do anything I can to get her back and make it work. I think connections like this are very rare in this world and life.

    So please, how can I go about getting her back?? Any tips, advice, suggestions, anything that will help.
    Don't beg anyone to love you. Move on.

  12. #12
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    Why would you want someone back who left you like that? Be happy and move on

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